Make a fist. Make a very tight fist and hold it while reading this. Into that fist you can place whatever is bothering you today. Place rude or angry remarks, heavy traffic causing you to be late for an appointment or work, jealousy or whatever it is that has been robbing you of your focus today. As you place those things into your fist,imagine the emotions you felt when they initially occurred as if it was happening now. Amplify the feelings to the level that you have been carrying them around with you. Count to 5 and tighten the fist with each number.
Now in a moment I am going to ask you to release that fist (keep holding for now) and when you do, imagine that everything you placed in there flies out and up to the stratosphere. It is all sent to the heavens where it can be fixed, deleted or improved as is appropriate. When you release the fist, take a deep breath and say, “ahhhhh”. Ready, set, let it go! That should feel really good.
In order to catch monkeys in India or Africa it is said that the hunter drills a small hole into a coconut, attaches it to a base and fills it with peanuts. Then they scatter peanuts and bananas around the area. The monkeys are lured in by the goodies. Once those are gone, the monkey will put his hand into the coconut to retrieve the peanuts. The hole is large enough to get the paw in, while too small for a fist full of peanuts to pull out. The monkey will hold on to the peanuts until the hunter returns rather than let go. In other words, he will hold on to the very thing that will take away his freedom.
I have been guilty of the same, how about you? Holding on to an argument, because I was right and the other person was wrong only serves to keep my thoughts from being free. Holding on to insults, even making them my truth in retrospect seems silly. All the power I gave away, sigh. Sometimes by holding on to our grievances we become defined by it. Without our pain, we have no story. “If the other guy hadn’t cheated, I would have gotten to promotion.” Our bodies can reflect what we hold on to as well. Unrelenting anger can cause heart problems, affect our immune system, our weight and even cause damage to our lungs!
I don’t want you to try to never feel anything but happy, not only is that unrealistic it can cause more harm than good. Learning to express anger in an appropriate way is actually a healthy use of anger. I have worked with people who wanted to be perfect, never upset and so while they may smile on the outside, the weight continues to pile on or smoking increases or any other maladaptive behavior persists. Instead, choose your battles carefully and with the things not worth ruining your health over, make a fist and let it go!
