I have had the fantastic privilege of meeting today’s guest blogger through a social networking site. This woman has a genuine quality about her that instantly shines through her. I was drawn to her gentle wisdom. I am honored she agreed to contribute today. So, without further ado, here is an article by P.W. Dowdy:

Life possesses an in-built share of unfairness.

Someone blames us for a wrong we see ourselves incapable of committing. An unsuspecting attack by an officemate embarrasses us before peers. With a cavalier attitude, a neighbor dismisses frequent and unauthorized borrowing from our tool shed.

How dare Harry lay all the responsibility of raising the children on me and then blame me for their every mistake. Shelley should have pulled me aside and then pointed out the need to expand that section of the report. Who does she think she is, putting me down in front of the whole team? The Johnsons have moved borrowing to the next level. Couldn’t they occasionally ask first?

In the aftermath of offense, which one of us has not permitted such thinking to flood our mind? Still, it is one thing to have such thoughts, while quite another to act out their bidding.

Beyond becoming angry, beyond submerging ourselves in hurt, beyond getting even when someone wrongs us, are there other ways to arrive at fairness in such instances?

The answer to this question lies in that of another. What do we hope to achieve by redressing negative circumstances in the first place?

Is it our wish to make offenders angry as they have angered us? Do we desire to hurt as we have been hurt? Or, should the attitude be to displace their wrongdoings with responsible win-win resolutions?

When we chose the first two intents, we seek not justice but revenge. Revenge instigates greater anger, more hurt, and a host of swapped wrongs. Both motives seem hardly the breeding ground for establishing justice between two people at odds with each other.

Would we seek revenge had we not been hurt? Would we be hurt had we not been angered? Would we have become angry, had we possessed the objectivity that life’s highway has its share of inconvenient bumps?

So how do we learn to make allowances for those who offend us? How do we learn to move past the overreaction of getting even when unfairly treated? The pain of an injustice often makes a decision of patience easier suggested than accomplished. Hence, choosing to make allowances at the first sight of anger can become the best starting place.

The operative word here is choosing. Choosing the daily higher plane of making allowances for another’s inappropriateness frees us from wronging the offender in return. Choosing to respond instead with patience leaves us at peace with not only the offender—but with ourselves. The choice rarely comes easily but it is a doable choice, and its ensuing justice is well worth the effort.