Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family and faith. Gathering together is meant to be a wonderful time to share and enjoy our friends and family. After this recent political season, many families are left in need of healing. The differences seemed expansive and the emotions on both sides of the aisle are raw. How are you going to handle  Thanksgiving politics over your dinner?

I encourage you to first work on your own coping skills. I have greatly reduced my use of social media for a while. I want to take a break from name calling, crying and anger that is running through my feed. There are just too many opportunities to escalate feelings or fall into destructive debates. Furthermore, when we witness stressful, high-pressure events, our brain identifies with it and even mimics the tone of whatever we’re seeing.

Spend some time in nature. Go for a walk. There is something very grounding about walking outside. For me, there is always something new that gives me pleasure, whether it is a bird singing, a new flower that has bloomed or simply the change in the tides. Additionally, moving while outside helps reset my brain to a more peaceful state of being.

It shouldn’t surprise you by now that I recommend taking deep breathes while walking and throughout your day. Deep breathes allow the oxygen to flow through your body, warming and relaxing muscles, clearing your mind and with a simple “Ahhhh” as you exhale it resets how you feel.

As you enjoy the breathes or the walks outside, squeeze your thumb and index finger together. Every time you have a moment that brings a smile, a laugh or any good feelings, squeeze those same fingers together again. The more you do this, the more you anchor good feelings into your system This will give you a simple method of feeling good at another time, a simple squeeze of the fingers.

Now that you have worked on you, it’s time to think about your guests. First of all, as you are ready to sit down, make a group agreement to leave politics off the table. This makes it a group effort and allows for everyone to be a part of the group gathered. If you want, prior to guests arriving, create a few code words to be shared with others that indicate it is time to redirect the conversation. Have some topics ready for discussion, such as the kids school year or upcoming travel plans.

I have suggested to some to have a bowl on the table for collecting money. Anyone who violates the no politics rule has to put $5 in the first time, $10 the second and on and on. At the end of the night the money goes to a charity of the host’s choosing. You can label the bowl the “GOOD DIGESTION” bowl as you will have better digestion without the stress.

Remember you care about these people. When you’re talking with someone at Thanksgiving try not to confuse the importance of the topic you’re discussing with the importance of the conversation you’re having. No matter how sad, mad or disappointed we are about anything in our lives – be it politics or not – there is also joy in the world and it is always available to us. Try to keep that in mind, and find some joy in being with your loved ones this holiday season — even if they do all vote the wrong way.