More On The R -Word

Written by: Debbie

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words could even kill me”.

I spend my days working with words. People of every description walk into my office for as many reasons as there are clients. Everyone has a story to share. It is amazing how many every day, normal people carry the burdens of unkind words and taunts from early years. Labels that were applied without any thought, still carried deep within. Bank executives, CEO’s, nurses and laborers all carry words with them that have shaped their lives. It is through re-framing those words that we create powerful change.

That is why I am opposed to labels and words such as the R-word. That is why the pledge is important to me. I stand by my plea to eliminate the use of terms that are hurtful.

I received some interesting comments, many I allowed to post. Obviously, I love it when someone agrees with me, after all, that reinforces the ego. It validates my point. I am also open to discussion. In my household we often agree to disagree. The best conversations held over dinner have been the ones where all four of us have opposing viewpoints.

One comment made me think. I posted it. This individual gave me another perspective to a movie that I was blindly judging, without seeing. My girlfriend calls that, “contempt prior to investigation”. I have been upset at others who judged a book or a movie without first seeing it, here I was doing the same. Therefore, I will investigate further.

What astounded me was the vitriol and crass remarks that I would not allow to post. People presumed to know things about me that even my family wouldn’t try to guess. One comment implied that if we eliminated disparaging words, we would be limited to a vocabulary of only 100 words. (I must admit, my sarcastic side wanted to offer to buy that individual a dictionary.) Another person implied I was trying to think for them. ME? I am a blonde for pity sakes, it is all I can do to think for myself. Then again, many people who misunderstand hypnosis think I can control their thoughts.

If only, then the R-word would be gone and I would finally have my ultimate shoe closet built here at the home of hypnosis!

Happiness

Written by: Debbie

Do a simple Google search on any subject and millions of possible answers are listed. Your brain has the same ability for viewing any experience or thought in your life. So, what if you took any situation in your life and rather than worry about the outcome, you decided to go to the best case scenario?

Through hypnosis you can change your thoughts. Hypnosis allows the neuro-peptide chemicals in your brain and the receptor sites within the cells to create real happiness, thus allowing pride, contentment and serenity to become a reality. Using your mind’s amazing ability to find the source of misery and conflict you release the pain, reframe the experiences and move towards a dynamic new you. You can create optimism and hope and enjoy pleasure and gratitude.

Perhaps some questions to ask yourself when you are feeling challenged would be:

How can I use this situation to my advantage?
How can this be a real opportunity for me?
How can I grow from this experience?
What can I learn from this experience?

If you can think any thought you choose, you can choose to think an optimistic thought. Thinking thoughts is the beginning to finding solutions, so think about things you can do in the situation to make your life easier.

Failures? Lessons! The New Woman Rules

Written by: Debbie

Recently I have had the good fortune of being introduced to an incredible author. Fawn Germer is a Pulitzer-nominated author of two best selling books, “Hard Won Wisdom” and “Mustang Sallies”. Fawn has been recommended by Oprah Winfrey, so how much more can I say? When I obtained my copy of her latest book, “The New Woman Rules” (More than 50 trailblazers share their wisdom) I could not wait to sit down and read it. It has been more like devour it!

This book is the personal stories of extraordinary businesswomen who have more than succeeded, they are at the very top! These women vary in background and education, but they are all leaders. In reading their stories, they seem like my friends, sisters and colleagues. So, what makes them so different? Why did they get to the top when so many don’t? Fawn carefully explains the lessons they share from don’t hesitate to raise your hand to ask others for help.

I think what struck me the most however, was the amazing ability that each of these women had to rely on their inner wisdom. They explored their inspirations and allowed whatever was meant to be, be. I am not saying they ran wildly into the night spending foolishly at the expense of the company they worked for. It is just that they also did not over analyze their instincts. Not every experiment was a success, either.

Cathy Green, the COO of Food Lion tells of an experiment to expand a store she was managing early in her career. She was successful in increasing sales and needed more space for product. So, she decided to add a tent outside. The town council required a $15,000 sidewalk installed for this tent, she had the expense of Muzak, lights and shelving. When it was finished, she says it was debatable if they even made $100 from it. Here is her take on it,”Someone looking in might say it was a failure. But it gave me broad learning about working with town politics, driving business and bringing a vision to life. You learn from everything. Failure is not an option.”

Over and over I read those sentiments in the book. Each of these women had the vision to see what lessons they learned and keep on going. Many of them made lateral moves along the way, some even stepped down in order to step up later. These women were able to “re-frame” the events in their lives in a way that benefited them, their co-workers and their companies.

Fawn sums the lessons up so well in her conclusion. To quote her, “Be your true self. You are your greatest asset, so work it.” Later she states,”See yourself as belonging at the top, and you will belong at the top.” In other words, release fear and visualize the life you desire now!

Thank you Fawn for writing this incredible book!

He’s taking me home

Written by: Debbie

This is a great little story that I was sent in email. The point is how a simple re-frame of our thoughts can have such a huge impact on our beliefs!

A minister I know had been on a long flight from one place to another. The first warning of approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS. Then, after a while, a calm voice said, “We shall not be serving the beverages at this time because we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened.” As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, “We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us.”

And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightning lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, “As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm. Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to her! She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and everything within her small world was calm and orderly.

Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm, when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid.”

The minister could hardly believe his eyes. When the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, the minister lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time.

Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid. The child replied, “Cause my Daddy’s the pilot, and he’s taking me home.”

Now, that’s a re-frame….