I spend my days working with words. People of every description walk into my office for as 
many reasons as there are clients. Everyone has a story to share. It is amazing how many every day, normal people carry the burdens of unkind words and taunts from early years. Labels that were applied without any thought, still carried deep within. Bank executives, CEO’s, nurses and laborers all carry words with them that have shaped their lives. It is through re-framing those words that we create powerful change.
That is why I am opposed to labels and words such as the R-word. That is why the pledge is important to me. I stand by my plea to eliminate the use of terms that are hurtful.
I received some interesting comments, many I allowed to post. Obviously, I love it when someone agrees with me, after all, that reinforces the ego. It validates my point. I am also open to discussion. In my household we often agree to disagree. The best conversations held over dinner have been the ones where all four of us have opposing viewpoints.
One comment made me think. I posted it. This individual gave me another perspective to a movie that I was blindly judging, without seeing. My girlfriend calls that, “contempt prior to investigation”. I have been upset at others who judged a book or a movie without first seeing it, here I was doing the same. Therefore, I will investigate further.
What astounded me was the vitriol and crass remarks that I would not allow to post. People presumed to know things about me that even my family wouldn’t try to guess. One comment implied that if we eliminated disparaging words, we would be limited to a vocabulary of only 100 words. (I must admit, my sarcastic side wanted to offer to buy that individual a dictionary.) Another person implied I was trying to think for them. ME? I am a blonde for pity sakes, it is all I can do to think for myself. Then again, many people who misunderstand hypnosis think I can control their thoughts.
If only, then the R-word would be gone and I would finally have my ultimate shoe closet built here at the home of hypnosis!
Anytime a person uses a derogatory name for another person they are showing their own lack of character.
It really hurts the person or their loved ones when they are called names or labelled.
My son has been bullied most of his growing years. Not only by classmates but teachers and principals. He was called ‘stupid’, ‘idiot’ and a ‘R’. I regret not having the courage to stand up for him.
Last Sunday, we agreed to a newspaper interview on school and cyber bullying. I knew about the bullying in his school but I didn’t realise how brutal and terrible it was to a young child.
He was beaten up several times and he hid the bruises and wounds from us. I broke down a few times during the interview.
In February this year, the bullying went online. We made a police report and they couldn’t do anything.
@ eleni,
you know that the two of us are often on the same page with issues like this. Then again, we have agreed to disagree on occasion, haven’t we?
@j007
I am sorry about the horrible misunderstandings your son has endured.
We are not going to always agree.That’s for sure.
I do agree with what you said.Words do hurt and can do terrible damage. I just took it a little farther because the name callers and bully’s think they are superior to others and it is the opposite.
The people that refuse to stop using the R word opereate with abelist privilege. They want to the power to other someone and when you suggest that they own that privilege to them it is a threat to their power.
The little nursery rhyme you opened with has been revised:
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may break my heart.
There are a few articles about this in my blog, VerbalImpact.blogspot.com
Love your video tips!
Debbie, Some people strike out at others to hide their own fears and weaknesses. Others use terms that are derogatory and hurtful. This shows their lack of understanding and compassion. Our children were taught early in life to stand up for those who were less fortunate or mentally challenged. They took the abuse that was meant for others and sometimes reprimanded for their actions. People are known for the good deeds they do!
Silly Willy and Fluffy
I was bullied all through my school years. I wished my parents had done something about it back then. They just had the attitude, you have to fight your own battles. It takes me a very long time to trust people after what I went through. I have lost out on great opportunities I could have had because I didn’t think I was good enough. It just breaks my heart to hear kids are still being bullied.
As the mother of a child with Down Syndrome and another with Asperger’s Syndrome, the word “retard” and all derivatives thereof, make me see red. There is no point to that word other than the user making themselves feel bigger by making another human being feel smaller.
Usually, people will use the excuse “I wasn’t talking about someone else, I was talking about myself!” as in “I was so retarded!!” Which doesn’t make it better. Because how is a person who knows they’re different and possibly has heard the term used in reference to themselves supposed to take that?
There’s just no reason for it. It’s a derogation that has no place in society.
The hardest thing a parent will ever learn to do, is teach self esteem. There are no books on child rearing. If we have a positive self worth, will that stop the hurt? Name calling is wrong, but it will never stop.
This is a great blog, interesting content. I love the layout. Come visit my blog sometime at: http://eliaszionswatchman.blogspot.com
Debbie, I never use the “r word”. It is demeaning to a group of people who are totally innocent, and deserve our consideration and respect.
I do disagree with eleni. Although name calling is usually childish, it is not always uncalled for. And, reverting to a childish behavior occasionally does not make one a person with a “lack of character”, IMO.