Recovering From Post Election Stress

Written by: Debbie

I am concerned about the many people I have calling me recently about the stress, helplessness and anger they are feeling over the outcome of the election. This is from both sides! Families and friendships have broken up over it. Friends of mine (from both sides of the fence) have posted messages of anger and fear on social media. People speak of feeling betrayed by friends who voted differently.

Post Election Stress Disorder

I have read articles in professional journals recently that others are seeing the same thing. Today I was told about a diagnosis of Post-Election Stress Disorder (PESD). Like its counterpart PTSD, PESD results when a person is exposed to a traumatic event that overwhelms their normal coping skills. Common complaints are feelings of shock, dismay, depression, fear, panic and impending doom. Even this has caused a division, as a veteran who has experienced the horrors of combat or a victim of violent domestic abuse feels it is disingenuous to compare the differing scenarios. What I know is, to the people I speak with their experience is real and they are suffering.

From Survivor to Thriver!

One of the traditional models of treating PTSD, developed by George Everly, PhD, uses a SAFER model to guide one through a crisis. This can be used for PESD as well. The basic steps are:

Stabilize
Acknowledge the crisis
Facilitate understanding
Encourage effective coping
Recovery or Referral

Stabilize the situation by turning off the flow of stress, which includes the all-day news channels, social media sites, blogs, tweets and radio rants. Unfollow political posters for a while. Limit your reading the latest news to a minimum. For work, develop a list of distracting responses to the question “So, what did you think about the election?”

Acknowledge that this has been a unique experience in our nation’s electoral process. It isn’t the first time our nation has been at odds, so remember the adage, “May you live in interesting times”. President Kennedy once referenced this in a speech he gave. We survived a Civil War and Nixon’s Watergate.

Facilitate understanding of what took place. It’s normal to have a shock reaction to unexpected events. The fears and anxieties that are arising are simply the mind’s attempts to find meaning and take comfort in understanding. Don’t worry about your worries.

Encourage effective coping. Maybe this is not the time to take to Twitter or Facebook and rant about everything that is wrong with the world. Focus on being the light in a time of darkness. Breathe deep and commit random acts of kindness. Take a step back and get the wider view.

Recover a sense of normalcy in your life. If you haven’t in the past spent large amounts of time neck-deep in politics, be cautious about submerging yourself into it now. Swim out of the deep end of political rhetoric and take a walk, listen to music, follow your usual routines. Get back to focusing on chores and the kid’s extracurricular activities. Rest and restore your energy; you’ve earned it. Listen to a stress relieving hypnosis audio. If, upon awakening, you find your resiliency muscle is in need of a workout, consider referring yourself to a helping professional.

The process of recovery and grieving is not an overnight miracle. However, through hypnosis, changes occur more rapidly than without. It is important to build up your ability to bounce back and to make the shift from survivor to thriver!

The good news is our forefathers had the wisdom to ensure we only go through this process once every four years.

Stress Awareness Day 2014

Written by: Debbie

April 16 (the day after Tax Day, April 15) has become a special day to set aside for Americans to become aware of just how stressed they may have become! Everyone feels stressed from time to time and if left unchecked, it tends to be a real happiness killer as well as a threat to your health. This makes it harder for us to live joy-filled lives. Stress has also been reported to lead to a number of major health problems, ranging anywhere from anxiety or severe depression to physical symptoms such as a mild case of acne to life-threatening heart attacks. It is easy to see why it is so vitally important to keep life’s major stressors in check.

Scientists report that psychological stress may exact its toll, at least in part, by affecting molecules believed to play a key role in cellular aging and possibly, disease development. Anecdotal evidence and scientific evidence has have suggested that chronic stress can take years off your life. Stress can also have an indirect effect on the immune system as a person may use unhealthy behavioral coping strategies to reduce their stress, such as drinking and smoking. It is easy to see why it is so vitally important to keep life’s major stressors in check.

Enough of the dire news and warnings, I don’t need to stress you out more.

Instead, here are some quick tips for changing into a stress free zone for the day and at the end a link to 3 free audios I have available for you to reduce your stress!

Focus On The Now

So many people live their entire lives in yesterday or tomorrow. The truth is, however, that there is only the Now. Focusing on this moment, right now, provides a wonderful escape from the disappointment of what once was and the fear of what might be, leaving stress stuck in a time warp. (You do remember the Time Warp, right?)

2 Give Yourself A Pep Talk
Sometimes a good talking to is all you need to keep stress at bay. Maybe it is about time you gave yourself a pep talk, reminding yourself what is right with your life instead of dwelling on what’s wrong. Ask yourself how you got so lucky to have a roof over your head, food on the table and the opportunity to experience so much each day.

3. Get the Giggles
Laughter really is the best medicine. Watch a comedy, share a funny joke, or go to a card shop and read funny cards. I always told my sons to find a reason to smile and laugh as they walked out the door. Maybe you can do the same, then share whatever it is, give yourself time for laughter each and every day.

4. Use Self-Hypnosis
A still mind is a stress-free mind, so take a deep breath, quiet your thoughts and let the stress melt away. Even ten minutes done daily for the next 30 days will do wonders for releasing stress in your life.

5. Keep a Happiness Journal
Starting today, spend a few minutes reflecting on the day you just experienced and list five things about the day that delighted you. Review that list when tempted to return to the old stinking thinking track.

6. Lend A Helping Hand
Sometimes the best way to deal with stress is by providing relief to someone else. Placing your focus on others needs takes the focus off your own challenges. This will lead to less rumination and therefore less stress. So look around you, see who needs a hand up and offer yours.

7. Listen To A Hypnosis Audio
I have three audios I have created that are free for you. Just stop by anytime to listen. Share them with your friends, let’s get this stress-less party started! Stress Free Audios

5 Tips For Forgetting Regret

Written by: Debbie

Forget the past, watch the present and create the future!

We all have regrets, here are a few quick tips to forgetting yours!

Slow Down, Don’t Move So Fast!

Written by: Debbie

Wish you were “feelin’ groovy” as Simon and Garfunkel once sang? You know, able to slow down because you move too fast? It seems as though that plea has been around for as long as mankind, yet the more we create time savers, the busier we become. We watch TV while surfing the web on our iPads, we walk down the street while talking on the phone. We listen to music while driving or tweet and update statuses on Facebook and Foursquare, checking messages at the stop lights.

Now add to that our work can be stressful. The economy, bottom line concerns, fuel us to utilize all of our waking moments trying to be “more productive”. According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 41% of the more than 1,700 respondents say they typically feel stressed out on the job.

Workplace stress is not uncommon, but how we deal with it can have a negative impact on mental and physical health, and can cost businesses a lot of money.

So maybe Simon and Garfunkel weren’t so far off, perhaps it is time to slow down and say “Life I love you!” Slowing down is a conscious choice and not always an easy one. It does, however, lead to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here are seven quick tips to help you slow down:

1. Do less. It’s hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Ask yourself, is this really necessary? Focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest. Build in time between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace.

2. Be present. It’s not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. So, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or even something that might happen, bring yourself back to the present moment. Observe how happy our pets are, they aren’t worried about tomorrow’s meal, they just want to play with you now. Focus on what’s going on right now. Be aware of your actions, your environment and others around you. This takes practice but is so very worth while.

3. Disconnect. If you carry around a smartphone or other mobile device, shut it off. Better still, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being available all the time means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in and we are at the mercy of the demands of others.

4. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars, buses and trains most of the time, and rarely do we take the opportunity to go outside. Often, even when people are outside, they’re on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise and play outdoors when you can. Find outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, kayaking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

5. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — practice eating slowly. Take three deep breathes before beginning a meal or snack. Be mindful of each bite, taking time to appreciate the flavors, aromas and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better.

6. Daydream. Let your mind wander. Most of us have been told daydreaming is a bad habit, but research shows that it actually allows us to be more creative. When we reduce stress, our minds are able to access regions of our brain not available when we’re stressed out. So, close your door, turn off anything electronic and close your eyes for five to 10 minutes. Let your mind wander. Who knows, the flashes of insight that come could be your next million dollar idea?

7. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. Again, notice our pets and how they breathe. Their bellies go up and down, as the air goes in and out of their diaphragms, babies breathe the same way. Try your best to do the same.

If you want to take a moment right now to slow down and relax, visit my website here for the free audio: Serenity

TRUST

Written by: Debbie

So many people are living in fear currently.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

It is time we refocus ourselves, paying attention to trust. I have created an acronym for trust that I think will help.

TRUST = Totally Releasing Unnecessary Scary Thoughts.

In this moment, are you safe? If so, then that is where you focus, because all any of us have is this moment. Recall or imagine a safe place. Notice the colors, the textures, the designs of this place. Notice the temperature, the aromas and the sweet sounds of serenity and calm. Allow this place to become real. Notice how in this place, in this moment, you are safe and secure and serene.

Notice how the body feels when this is your truth. Allow your mind to wander to a concern and wonder how it might be if that concern were behind you. How would you feel if you were free of that worry, if you had a solution to that puzzle?

I wonder if the waiting for the other shoe to drop is more what creates discomfort within you than the reality of the situation. All too often, after a “crisis” is over we realize that fear was in our heads, not our circumstances.

Allow your mind to drift past the event you have been concerned about and notice the outcome. What steps might you have taken to get to the desired outcome? What are the keys to your success?

Perhaps it starts with T.R.U.S.T.

Yesterday On Channel 10

Written by: Debbie

Once again I visited with the anchors at 10Connects.com. I have been unable to load the interview here, so I will share the link here. These moments pass so quickly, we can never cover all we hope to. Still, it is great fun to be inside the studio and see how things work. Plus, they are a great team over there.

Thank 10Connects for all your support!

Monday Morning Musings….

Written by: Debbie

Last night I began the fun of decorating for the holidays. We brought boxes out of storage with the linens and decorations. My Christmas plates and special mugs were washed and are ready for use. Christmas soaps and candles were placed in the bathrooms. My Santa collection is spread through out the house. My creche is on the fireplace, awaiting the arrival of Baby Jesus. I baked some cookies while we decorated, I love the smell of baking cookies. (My husband and son loved the cookies, I think we have one left!) The tree was given lights, but no ornaments, yet. I will work on that through out the week. I have several commitments and so it will have to be a process in work, much like myself.

My husband put the lights on the tree. He will be decorating the outside as well. We have an annual golf cart parade, the carts are decorated and we throw candy to the neighborhood children as we go through our little community. My husband will prepare a pathway for the carts to park at our home as well. After all, it gets cold on those carts, so hot cocoa or a hot toddy are in order when we stop by here.

My son is helping with the tree trimming. Now that he drives, he is sent on those emergency runs for extra lights, hooks or whatever else is needed. He is first assistant to the light master as well.

I am invited to a party tonight. The hostess has asked that we each bring a dish to share.

There is a reason I am sharing so many trivial details and I promise it isn’t just to fill white space. I want to give examples of how I avoid stress. I delegate. We share in the fun and the tasks. We all will benefit from the events, so I don’t have to be a martyr and complete everything on my own.

What is more, it is fun to do this as a team. We are enjoying the process. I am not determined that things have to look a certain way. Everyone has a vote in how the decorations go up and where. I have relinquished control. Interestingly, it may not be my vision, but when all is done, it is a vision and a joy.

Take a moment, close your eyes and breath deep. Relax and listen to the quiet. Perhaps you can recall a favorite Christmas tune. Breath in and recall a favorite Christmas aroma. (I wonder if it is the pine tree or a candle or maybe cookies baking?) Imagine having your holidays in peace, joy and filled with laughter. Visualize you and your loved ones enjoying the events leading up to the holidays as a team. Now go out there and do it!

Joy to the world!

Monday Morning Musings….

Written by: Debbie

With the Thanksgiving holidays behind us, are you one of those people who suddenly feels the crush of the upcoming season? Gift giving season is upon us, along with parties, social events, wrapping up the year before a new one begins, children’s pageants and the list goes on and on. All of this is meant to bring us joy and yet it seems as though we are on constant overwhelm. This year add the concerns that we have been feeling about the economy and the holidays can seem to be turning into nothing but a dizzying array of obligation!

There is hope. Here is how I deal with the season. I breathe. That’s right, deep breathes, allowing my thoughts to clear and my body to relax. Breath is life, we always have our breath with us and yet all too often we get into overwhelm and we forget to breath. When you are stressed, your breathing is quick and shallow. When I recognize that in myself, I stop and take a deep, wonderful attitude changing breath.

The next thing I have had to learn is to forget the fantasy of perfection. If my uncle is a goof ball with outrageous behavior and opinions that he is compelled to spew every other day of the year, why should I expect him to be any different during a holiday event? I have lowered my expectations of how things “should” be. (I am not fond of “shoulding” on myself anyway.) If it is truly a family or friend get together that is important to me, than I focus on the relationships and enjoy the people I am with.

It is my experience that my friends and family would rather get together with a happy sane me, than the one that is weepy and weary because I created the perfect table decorations or had that one extra appetizer that no one knew I was going to serve in the first place. So far, neither Martha Stewart nor Norman Rockwell have featured my celebrations, but my friends and family have all enjoyed themselves as we usually end up laughing about everything and nothing.

With the economy what it is this year, it is a good time to remind ourselves about the reason for this season. Whatever your holiday or your Spiritual beliefs are, keep your focus there. When we take time out to renew ourselves Spiritually, we feel more ready to handle whatver comes our way. I like to remind myself that in this moment, I am safe, I am healthy and all my needs have been met.

Don’t try to buy happiness. Often, when setting a budget and sticking to it, everyone is happier. After all, how much fun is “the gift” in January when the bills start to roll in? Perhaps, the gift of time is what loved ones would prefer. Be honest with friends and family, set limits on the amount spent on a gift, limits that fit your budget.

I enjoy a moment of quiet relaxation, of self hypnosis. When I find my words becoming terse or negative, I stop and think about how I want to feel. I think about who I want to be. Try it. Take a moment now and relax. Breathe deeply and with your eyes closed recall a favorite holiday. Recall the events, the sights, the sounds, the aromas. Most importantly, recall how wonderful you felt. Recall those memories of joy and love. Fill yourself with those feelings of joy and love right now, then take those feelings forward with you through out the rest of your day.

A Calming Voice Reduces Stress

Written by: Debbie

Recent research has shown that guided relaxation (such as hypnosis) reduced the blood pressure of seniors more than listening to a Mozart sonata did. This is a surprise? It has been my personal experience that although my clients enjoy relaxing music, they may continue to perseverate on their worries if they are not feeling reassured. My job is to help them accomplish this on their own. If they could do it automatically though, they might not be coming into my office in the first place.
When I taught young children, during nap/rest times we would play Mozart. However, some of the children needed the addition of a gentle rub on their back or words of reassurance as they fell to sleep. My sons rested better after a time of comforting from Mom. There are times I need the comfort of a human voice to reassure me.

Therefore, none of this surprises me. What it does do, though is inspire me. Perhaps I shall make arrangements to visit some local nursing homes and volunteer some group sessions for stress relief. I can record these for their later listening relaxation.

What do you think? Any of my local colleagues want to join me?

Dear Debbie,

Written by: Debbie

No, I am not writing myself a letter. Not that I am against that. In my morning journaling, I often write letters. Sometimes to God, sometimes to someone I need to get clear with (in my head) and sometimes to me (Debbie)! This time, however, I am including some questions that have been sent to me. I have been receiving questions for awhile now. Usually, I write an email back. It can be a few lines in a quick response or a missive, depending on the question, the day and my mood.

I have decided to start including some of the questions here when appropriate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Debbie

A few further thoughts of mine.

If I settle down in the way you describe I’m liable to fall asleep. Is that always so? If so, how do you waken yourself up?

How do you keep your mind concentrated on the thoughts you want? Are there any particular techniques? This is linked really to falling asleep, because when my mind wanders off, that is when I fall asleep, at least when I’m lying down!

Many of my clients are concerned that if they take the time to relax and focus they might just fall asleep. I often have clients in my office voice the same concern. I jokingly tell them, I am not that nice, they won’t be permitted to sleep. In all truth, there are times I have seen that a client would benefit from a few moments of sleep, so I do some of the work we need to do, let them go deeper into a sleep state briefly, then bring them back up for some final thoughts as they return to awareness.

If you find that you are concerned about falling asleep, perhaps it is the time of day you are practicing self hypnosis. You may want to try early morning when you feel fully rested, or just before lunch, perhaps right before dinner. You know your patterns, find a time of day when you feel most alert. Secondly, sit upright in a chair, as opposed to laying down. This will help prevent going to sleep.

I often tell my clients who listen to audios I prepare for their use at home, that if they fall asleep listening to it, they won’t hear what is said once they are asleep. However, the good news is, the last thing their subconscious heard as they fell asleep was positive and empowering and now part of their new habits, behaviors, etc!

The subconscious mind knows exactly how to wake you, if you set the intention. Remember, the number one job of the subconscious mind is to protect you. So, if finishing in, let’s say, 20 minutes is best for you, you will awaken in 20 minutes. As a precaution, use a timer at first. Set it for the amount of time you wish to dedicate to the exercise and then when it goes off, you will hear it, even if you have heard nothing else the entire time!

Allow normal thoughts to pass through your mind. If you fight them, that becomes your focus. Remember, what you resist will persist! As you allow a thought to occur and then release it, remind yourself what it is you want to accomplish, eventually, the mind will do this with ease. Perhaps a white noise machine or music without words will help. (I have music dedicated to this for both home and office.)

Hopefully these ideas will help you as you begin on your journey. On my website there is a free download for stress reduction. It is a great way to begin using self hypnosis. Go to this link, try it out and let me know what you think!

Stress Reduction Free Download

There was more to this letter, I will address the rest in another post.

For now, happy stress reducing!