self empowered

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The Power of Words: How Language Shapes Your Thoughts, Beliefs, and Behavior

Written by: Debbie

The power of words cannot be overstated. As Rudyard Kipling famously said, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”

This week, sponsored by the National Association of Independent Writers and Editors, celebrates words and their importance — and it’s a perfect reminder of just how deeply language influences our lives.

We grew up hearing the children’s rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” At some point, we all realized that wasn’t true. Words can hurt. In fact, words can change relationships, alter our demeanor, reshape belief systems, and even influence the success of our businesses and personal goals.

Words affect what we believe, how we interact with others, and the decisions we ultimately make. They can influence us, inspire us, motivate us — or just as easily bring us to tears.

How Words Shape Beliefs and Self-Talk

As we grow up, the words we hear from parents, teachers, coaches, and authority figures help shape our beliefs about ourselves. Over time, these words become an inner dialogue — the self-talk that runs quietly (or loudly) in the background of our lives.

That inner dialogue can be supportive:

“I am smart enough to figure this out.”

Or it can be deeply discouraging:

“I always mess things up.”

Negative self-talk can be incredibly sabotaging, especially when we are working toward a goal. The subconscious mind does not question our words — it accepts them as instructions.

For example, if you repeatedly tell yourself, “I gain weight just by looking at a donut,” your subconscious mind becomes a willing participant. It begins behaving as though that statement is true, reinforcing habits and stress responses that support it.

Changing Words to Change Outcomes

When we become aware of the words we use, we gain the ability to change them — and in doing so, change our outcomes.

Instead of:

“I can’t do this.”

Try:

“I have the strength to keep going until I reach my goal.”

Think about The Little Engine That Could. The story opens with, “She was a happy little train.” As she climbs the steep hill, she repeats the familiar refrain: “I think I can, I think I can.” And indeed — she does.

That story resonates because it reflects how the power of words shapes belief, effort, and success.

Are Your Words Setting You Up for Success?

Take a moment to notice the words you use — especially when you’re tired, stressed, or discouraged.

Are you replaying old mental tapes filled with reasons you might fail?
Are your words quietly setting you up for disappointment?
Or are they supporting resilience, confidence, and forward motion?

What if you truly began to believe you can?
How might your attitude shift?
What would change in your behavior?
How would your words sound if they were aligned with growth rather than fear?

The power of words isn’t just poetic — it’s practical. When you change your language, you begin changing your experience of life.

Woman looking toward sunrise, representing the decision to let go of regret and create a new future

Let Go of Regret: How to Stop Living in the Past and Create a Better Future

Written by: Debbie

Let Go of Regret: Watch the Present and Create Your Future

“Forget the past, watch the present, and create the future.”

It sounds simple.
Yet for many people, regret quietly shapes daily thoughts, emotions, and decisions.

We all have moments we wish we could undo. Words we wish we hadn’t spoken. Opportunities we wish we had taken. Paths we wish we had chosen differently.

But living in regret keeps you anchored to a version of yourself that no longer exists.

If you truly want to create your future, you must first learn how to let go of regret.

Why Regret Keeps You Stuck

Regret often disguises itself as reflection.
But there is a difference between learning from the past and living in it.

When you replay old mistakes repeatedly, your nervous system responds as if the event is happening again. Stress hormones rise. Self-doubt increases. Confidence shrinks.

You begin to define yourself by what went wrong instead of what is possible.

And that makes it difficult to move forward.

3 Quick Tips to Let Go of Regret

1. Separate the Lesson From the Shame

There is always a lesson.

Ask yourself:

What did this teach me?
How am I wiser today because of it?

Keep the lesson. Release the self-punishment.

Growth requires reflection. Healing requires compassion.

2. Anchor Yourself in the Present

The present moment is the only place where change can occur.

Instead of asking, “Why did I do that?”
Try asking, “What can I do now?”

That subtle shift moves you from rumination to action.

Even one small forward step interrupts the regret cycle.

3. Decide Who You Are Becoming

Regret focuses on who you were.
Power focuses on who you are becoming.

Close your eyes and imagine your future self:

Calm
Confident
Grounded
At peace with the past

Begin making decisions today that align with that version of you.

That is how you create the future.

You Are Not Your Worst Moment

Every human being has chapters they would edit if they could.

But your story is still being written.

Let go of regret not because the past didn’t matter —
but because your future does.

Watch the Video

I’ve attached a short video below where I share more insight into releasing regret and stepping into the present moment:

Two cigarettes with a warning: Don't think about smoking.

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

This week is shaping up to be a wonderful week. I have the opportunity to speak at the WIN Symposium tomorrow evening. The Symposium is an annual event, held by Women In Networking, where women can network, attend workshops and visit a variety of exhibitors to find ways of improving their opportunities. Net proceeds benefit the Healthy Start Coalition of Pinellas County and The American Cancer Society. It promises to be quite interesting, I have certainly enjoyed it in years past.

Now, I was with a group of friends on Saturday night and mentioned the Symposium. One of the gentlemen told me to “break a leg”. This made us all laugh, but it also helped to remind me that part of this month’s theme is superstitions. So, I want to reassure you that I will not be carrying a rabbits foot with me, wearing any lucky charms or keep salt in my pocket during the talk. I will however, look into the eyes of my audience, speak to them from my heart and have a wonderful time sharing what I have to offer, in the hopes that my information will help someone walk away feeling just a little bit better about themselves.

As I always do, I will use a little bit of self-hypnosis to calm and center myself before I speak. I hope to have audience participation, it is more fun that way. When they leave, I hope that new affirmations have been created by each attendee, that will take them through the next few days, weeks and months into a journey of fun and discovery. It is my goal that each person feels more self empowered as well. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Smiling man outdoors with text about client intake form.

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

I belong to a networking group that meets on Fridays. Each meeting, we stand up and introduce ourselves. Each week, three different businesses share a short (5 minute) talk about what the business is about. To better know about the businesses, we are encouraged to make appointments with one another for a brief personal meeting. It is a wonderful group of people, many different professions are involved and all the participants seem to be of a very high caliber.

The Friday before this last one, a woman (I will call her Brenda) stood up to share about her business. She suffered from the single most common phobia, fear of public speaking. It is said to affect as much as 75% of the population. Public speaking is also considered one of the most valuable skills a person can have in business. Well, Brenda was unable to get through the entire 5 minutes of speaking time. She shook visibly and was near tears several times. What was amazing, was that through all of that, she had a tremendous and powerful story to tell. Her business is her passion and her goal is to benefit special needs individuals. Brenda touched my heart.

It was announced at the end of that meeting who the next week speakers were to be. I was one of the speakers. How fortuitous! Some days life just hands you solutions without even having to look. I called Brenda and she agreed to meet with me in exchange for my speech time. We met in my office and had an incredible session regarding public speaking. Brenda was open and receptive to the idea of overcoming her fear. Brenda is bright and charming. We worked together for a few hours. That’s it. One hypnosis session, we recorded. She had one opportunity to listen to the session again before Friday. Brenda left my office saying she felt self empowered.

I arrived on Friday, with great anticipation. How exciting for Brenda to be able to share everything she had told me about her dreams and goals with this group. I just knew when they heard all she hoped to do, they would love her as much as I now did. When I stood up to introduce myself, I did it using sign language as well as speaking. This was to support her upcoming talk. People weren’t sure why, but I tend to go against the norm in that group, so they played along.

I was announced as the first speaker. Brenda stood up, went into the center of the room and asked a powerful question. There were immediate responses. She played with the crowd, creating word pictures and spinning her tale. The group was mesmerized! (She was hypnotic!) Brenda went around the room, making eye contact and drawing everyone in. There was no back ground chatter, she had taken control of this crowd. When she finished her talk, the room burst into applause, giving her a standing ovation. Tears of pride and joy streamed down my face. Brenda had delivered her message and it was received. Imagine the difference for Brenda now that she has this level of confidence making her presentations for her business. Now, that she has the power to make a difference.

I was on a different plain for the rest of the day. It helped to create a great start to my weekend. Now, as I sit here this morning, I wonder, how many opportunities I will be offered this week to experience such amazing change. How many opportunities will you encounter for personal change? Will you take advantage of them the way Brenda did?

Sunset with stress-relief quote overlay.

Hypnosis on Stage

Written by: Debbie

In my profession there seems to be a divide between those who do stage hypnosis and those who don’t. Because stage hypnosis seems to include comedy and because movies have portrayed hypnosis as mind control, it seems that there are those of my colleagues who avoid the stage or any connection to it. There are even those who will use an abundance of terms to describe hypnosis, but never, ever will they admit it is what they do. That seems silly. How will we ever educate people if we obsfucate?

When I began my practice, I soley did “clinical” work. I worked in a Rehab facility and in private practice. I gave talks about hypnosis to educate others, but refused any requests to do stage work. Well, my son made a point in discussing his future that rang true with me. He wants to study medicine, to become a medical researcher. His comment was, “Doctors can help one patient at a time heal, but how many did Jonas Salk help?” This seemed to make sense at a deeper level with me.

I love working with my clients. It is wonderful to watch the client become self empowered. Teaching people to create healthy new thought patterns and habits is very rewarding. But, I was limiting myself by only doing single sessions. In August at the National Guild Of Hypnostists annual convention, I met a wonderful couple. They were a comedy team, who does stage hypnosis. When I spoke with Beth (Mrs. Hypnotist) I learned of her passion for helping others. Through her stage work, she has helped educate many on the value of hypnosis, rewarded show participants with improved habits and directed individuals to the help they need.

Laughter is the best medicine. I use it to change thoughts often. Through stage work, I can incorporate laughter into the lives of many. I remain respectful of any participants, after all, it is my goal to leave this world a little bit better place than when I arrived.