How loving are you with yourself? Not just today, Valentine’s Day, but every day? For many, Valentine’s is a wonderful, romantic celebration of their commitment to one another and to love. For others, it is a sad reminder of lost love. For some it is a poke in the heart as they feel they have never had real love. I teach a class called The Real Love Potion Number Nine, a love attraction class that is almost ready for print as a book/guide to finding your true love. (It is also how I managed to bring my amazing husband into my life.) One of the very first things we review is self-love, followed by unconditional love.
It is a very difficult thing for many of my clients to experience either of those. Modesty has taught us to negate a compliment. How I would cringe when my sons were young and I’d tell the parent of one of their friends how much I enjoyed their little one, only to have the parent tell me I didn’t know that child. Really? A chance for the kid to learn self-love now dashed. We really need to learn to just say thank you.
Often, my clients equate their value with their perception of just how “bad” the habits they have are. Unconditional self-love means loving all of you, despite your flaws. So, before we can even begin to create a change in behavior we need to instill a new understanding of how unconditionally loved we deserve to be. In order to do that, we have to begin practicing some loving moments with ourselves.
Pay attention to how you treat yourself compared to how you treat your friends. I know that so much internal talk is harsher than we would ever talk to friends or loved ones. Yet, we think we will respond well to it. You have the power to hurt yourself or make yourself feel better. Which do you prefer? It’s not loving to postpone self-acceptance until you are as perfect as you imagine you should be.
Unless you choose a different direction, stress will beat you up! Allowing stress to go unchecked is VERY unloving to you! Doing something/anything to relieve stress, says, “I love me!” When you feel stressed, stop, take some deep breaths, even if only for a minute. It can calm you down Focus on things that make you happy instead of on problems. Enjoy just looking at the sunshine or watching the rain fall. Visualize a place that makes you happy. Find something that reduces your stress and do it regularly. I have a free audio for stress on my website. SerenityGive yourself the gift of a more relaxed you. It’s YOUR choice—let stress control you or YOU take control of the stress. Less stress leaves more room to be happy, and feel self-love.
Give yourself permission to love yourself. Put it in writing, affirm you are worthy of love and even ask yourself each day why you are so lovable. It is through constant practice that love becomes natural, like any learned behavior. Give yourself permission this Valentine’s Day to be happy, now and 4-ever!
SELF-LOVE DECLARATIONS
1. I lovingly accept myself as I am right now. I appreciate all that makes me who I am.
2. I regularly give thanks for all of my blessings.
3. I appreciate and accept compliments. I generously give compliments.
4. I trust in my ability to take care of myself, I take responsibility for my life.
5. I now eliminate self-criticism and stop criticizing others.
6. I forgive myself and others when a mistake occurs.
7. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs.
I give myself permission to be happy!
