Yesterday I wrote about the NLP concepts of mirroring and pacing. Both are important skills to learn and make use of. After an interesting exchange I had another thought, something more I wanted to add. The tone of your voice is also vital to how well your message is understood and how well you are received. You may be saying all the right words, in all the wrong ways.
In our house, we play a game of Dude. How many ways can the word “dude” be said to communicate a whole new meaning? There is the simple “dude”, then there is “DUDE!” or else “Duuuuude” and so forth. Imagine a parent walking into your bedroom and saying, “look at your room”. That can be a pleasant voice, filled with delight at a cleaning job well done. It can also be an angry statement about a job still not done. It can be a mention of the new furnishings. It all has to do with the tone.
So, take a moment and practice some familiar phrases in front of the mirror. Use different tones and inflections and listen to the differences you are trying to communicate. Keep this in mind next time you are in a conversation where you feel misunderstood. Did your voice speak your true meaning? Were you smiling in your voice as well the smile on your face or were you sending mixed signals. Be clear in your intent, then use your words and your tone as tools for communication.
