DebbieDona

Happiness Happenings

Written by: Debbie

This month is my birthday. I have decided to make it a whole month of Happy, as in happy birthday. It is after all, America’s birthday too. So, I decided to do something every day this month that would make me happy. Sounds simple, right?

Before I made this decision, of course, I had to research what actually creates happiness and what doesn’t. (There goes the simple!) Something I discovered, much to my husband’s delight, is that buying/acquiring new stuff is only a momentary happy, nothing that lasts very long. In fact, buying something new can become part of the new normal and have no impact or worse, there are reasons that it can actually rob you of happiness.

So, what does make one happy? Having a connection with others is first on the list. This includes our families and friends. Improving those relationships helps to improve our lives. Good health is another contributor to happiness. It is actually a drain on our happiness when we avoid taking care of our health. Getting our finances in order is helpful. It isn’t that money can buy happiness, but rather that creating a budget and living within it lessens our stress. Eliminating clutter can leave us more time and space for creative thinking and living. Having and fulfilling a purpose is important. Each of these concepts can be further broken down and that is what I am working on this month.

Day one of July, I made my Happiness Proclamation. I decided that I would do one thing each day for the sole intent of creating a happier life. I was about to embark on my personal Happiness Happenings. I posted this on Facebook, making it “official”. Next, I decided to go out to lunch with my husband. This would help me begin my effort to improve an already good relationship. We had a delightful meal and actually ran into someone who knew us when we first met. This allowed for some fun reminiscing.

Knowing that good health is important, I went for a bike ride. The ride was a good amount of exercise in the sun. I ended up at my favorite dolphin watching spot and was mesmerized by the dolphins.

Day 2 of my Happiness Happenings I remembered that spending money on others brings more joy than spending it on yourself. It is almost the 4^th of July holiday and I hold sessions in a doctor’s office where there are several women, many of whom have young children. On my way there I stopped at a fireworks tent. I bought a few things for each of the employees. As I delivered them, I told each person that this was my Katy Perry impression of Firework. They all smiled and laughed and I felt happy!

De-cluttering is on my list. During the month of June, with Let It Go Day being a special day, I began the practice of 3 a day must go away. Every day I found at least 3 things to give away or throw away. By months end, not only had I eliminated 90 items from my home; I would venture to say it was more like 900. Still, there is more to be released. Therefore, I am continuing the 3 a day through the month of July.

I am writing this very new into my Happiness Happenings process, I plan on updating what I have done. However, I ask you dear reader, what makes you happy? What small changes in habits can you start in order to bring more happiness into your life? If you were to be happier, regardless of how happy you are right now, how would you be different?

Rebuild Your Life Month 2014

Written by: Debbie

June is Rebuild Your Life Month. Whether it is that you have been thrown a curve ball by life and desperately need to make changes or more simply you just feel this is the time to make changes, this month can be a great time to kick off powerful ways to recreate yourself. This is a wonderful opportunity to reexamine your life and take charge of it by removing stressors as you are able.

Recognizing what your stressors are is the first step. Job stress can, and often does, lead to an increased stress level at home and conversely a difficult home life can lead to an increase of stress while on the job. Therefore it is important to narrow down where the stress is coming.

Sometimes this is as easy as removing clutter from your home and giving the home a thorough cleaning. Numerous studies have shown how physical clutter can create a mental clutter and cause an increase in stress elsewhere in your life. In Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project, she devoted an entire month to ridding her life of clutter. She extols the virtues of how she truly enjoys the belongings she has chosen to keep and the freedom eliminating the clutter has given her.

Other times, the stress may come from conflict in your life. This may bring about the harsh recognition that a person (or persons) in your life are simply not good for you. There are those in life that we permit, that don’t have our best interest at heart. Cleansing those people from our lives is the healthiest option, even when the initial removal of them can be stressful. The removal of a toxic person from your life can cause an entire shift in how you experience life.

A job can be just as harmful. While it may be a challenge to extract yourself from a toxic workplace, it is important to take the steps to do so. You spend far too much of your life in the workplace, it can create serious health issues to be unhappy that much of the time. In fact, just beginning to look for other options whether it is a change in where you work or returning to school one class at a time in order to change careers can bring about an improved attitude.

Here are some changes you might consider making to lead a healthier, less stressed lifestyle as you rebuild your life.

Healthy Eating

In my opinion one of the best changes people can make for creating a healthy lifestyle is to eat healthy. Because of the negative health consequences of obesity, the positive influence fitness has on our self-esteem, and the effects of nutrition on our stress levels and our longevity, switching to a healthier diet brings some of the greatest benefits for wellness. I won’t tell you the best way to eat, as it is different for every individual. I can tell you that a diet full of fast foods and snacks is NOT in your best interest.

Regular Exercise

Getting regular exercise is another wonderful way to keep your weight in check, manage overall stress levels, and stay connected with others. Exercise has been proven repeatedly to help not only the physical body, but also the emotional part of you. Dr. Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist who has written numerous books on the brain and brain health (How to Make A Good Brain Great and Unleash the Power of the Female Brain are two of his books I’ve enjoyed) repeatedly says that 20 minutes of vigorous exercise is better than any drug he can prescribe.

Get Good Sleep

People often underestimate the importance of getting enough sleep, and getting good quality sleep. However, lack of adequate sleep has many negative consequences. Stress can rob you of a good night’s sleep. It is important to utilize stress reducing techniques to enable you to sleep better. It is also important to include good sleep habits so that you are better able to handle the day’s stresses. Self-hypnosis and meditation are two great tools to improve sleep while better handling stress.

Create A Happiness Ritual

Whether it is a daily cup of tea and quiet contemplation, coloring in a coloring book or a daily yoga session, find something that brings you joy and practice it. Practice it on a regular basis, so that you are reminded of your value. By consistently practicing your ritual you have those feelings to draw on when you are feeling stressed or sad.

No one has ever promised that life is going to be easy, although, it has been said that everything happens for a reason. Rebuilding your life can be as simple as de-cluttering your home (and your mind) or changing the relationships in your life. By readjusting the sails to navigate away from the past towards a new and improved future can be the best decision you will ever make. So, use this month to start rebuilding your life now. Your destination just might surprise you.

#Gratitude #Happiness

Written by: Debbie

More and more I see the hashtag First World Problems. It is a humorous look at ourselves, after all people often say that we in western modern societies have it really easy. For example: A possible infection, another root canal and the removal of two wisdom teeth; starting to look like a fabulous summer #firstworldproblems, or this: I’ve received new honors from my college, so the old resumes I have printed are useless now. #FirstWorldProblems. Someone worrying about which job offer he is going to take might seem frivolous to a man who’s wondering if he’ll be alive tomorrow, or whether he can feed his family for another week.

When we are suddenly facing real problems, we often start to wonder how we could ever have been so worked up about what we thought were problems before. Why did we spend so much time worrying and fretting that we could have spent enjoying? Still, if during that time we are given the adage, there are people who are much worse off than you, it feels flippant. Harken back to the times our parents told us we should be grateful for our least favorite dinner, after all, there are children starving in Africa. I didn’t know a kid who didn’t wish they could ship that meal off to the starving!

I once heard a therapist suggest that her sister in another war torn country had real problems, so the client she was seeing should be grateful that being left by her husband with small children to support is all she had to deal with. How did that make the client feel? Guilty as well as terrified, hurt and unappreciated would be my guess.

You can be sure that the client she was speaking to was not unaware of human trafficking or war or starvation that goes on around the world, still that awareness didn’t make a difference to her because she was living her life.

The fact is that fear, anxiety and hopelessness are correlated with life circumstances, but only up to a point. Living in a nice safe environment is also correlated with feeling safe and secure, but the correlation isn’t as exact as you might think. You see, fear is fear, whether it’s fear of starvation or fear of riding an elevator to your office. Someone who is frightened or depressed in an outwardly perfectly safe and secure environment still feels as if they are living an unsafe life.

Furthermore, recent research has shown that only 10% of our happiness is due to our external circumstances. A full 90% is based on our inner environment.

So, I make the case that while we don’t want to trivialize anyone for their fears or worries, there is something to be said for practicing gratitude.

Over the ages, many philosophers and sages have celebrated gratitude. Many of the world’s great religions and spiritual practices, have all at various times endorsed the idea that being grateful encourages reciprocal kindness, as well as individual and collective well-being. When people focus on gratitude on a regular basis it has been found that they enjoy increased alertness, enthusiasm, optimism and energy. In one study with hundreds of participants, the gratitude group experienced less depression, exercised more regularly and made more progress towards personal goals. According to these research findings, people who feel gratitude are more likely to feel loved and respected than the non-grateful. They also showed better immune function and less physical illness!

So rather than just noting the bare fact that there are people physically worse off than us, it may be better for us to actively focus on what we do have. When we start to actually notice and appreciate that we have access to clean water, or the internet, or other people who aren’t trying to kill us we can create a shift in our awareness. Keep in mind that comparing yourself to another (she got a promotion and I didn’t even though I work just as hard as she does) will result in more bad feelings. Your bad feeling comes from focusing on what someone else has that’s more than what you have.

Next time you feel really worried or down, think of three ways in which it could be even worse. Not how someone else has it worse, but instead it might be worse for you (but isn’t). For instance, you were stood up because your friend “got a better offer”. You might think, yea that sucks and hurts being dissed, but at least I have other friends to call and chat with. Or, at least I have a great job and my kids are safe at home with me.

Follow this by trying to imagine your life without those blessings. Imagine losing that great job and being unable to get another in the foreseeable future or having your kids being taken away from you. Take time to imagine what that might look like, how that might feel if you didn’t have those blessings. Do this for a few moments to get the impact of how things might have been. Just be sure that you are focused on a blessing you truly appreciate and not the thing that started this downward spiral in the first place. Be sure what you focus on is something that, while it would be worse, it is not likely to ever occur. So, if anything has been of concern (you are concerned that your kids will be taken by an angry ex for example) eliminate that one from your imagining.

Try this, then go back to feeling the gratitude for those blessings. Really spend a few moments enjoying the benefits in your life of living your life. Practice a smile, because it is true that it is very difficult to feel bad when smiling, even a fake smile. To quote Young Frankenstein, “It could be worse, it could be raining.”

Simple Stress Release

Written by: Debbie

How would you like a simple exercise that helps to release anxious feelings? What if it was fun and easy to do? Imagine if you could do it anywhere, home, car, office, wherever you needed a quick mind/body release. There has been research done on this simple task and it has been found to help relieve stress.

First you want to acknowledge that you feel anxious, nervous, fearful or panicky. Allow that feeling to be present, without judging, just experience it. Understand that it is just a feeling and as such it will not harm you. Next, close your left hand (the one you write with) into a fist. Be sure to make the fist nice and tight. Really squeeze it, feel the pressure of the tightness. Then begin to imagine all of your anxious feelings slowly flowing down your arm and into your fist.

If you want you can imagine those anxious feelings are like a red glowing energy or light that travels down your arm until it is trapped in your tight fist. Make these sensations as real as possible. You may notice that your fist will begin to pulsate with energy as the anxiety is transferred there. It may even change temperature.

Now, as the energy flows and the sensations occur begin to notice that your feelings will change from fear and anxiety into a tolerable nervous excitement. You can imagine the color changing, perhaps to a lighter shade like pink or even a cool blue color.

Now the final step – begin to open each finger of your fist nice and slowly. As you do this notice how the tension is released, you are setting the trapped anxiety free! Count each finger out from 5 down to 1, taking a breath as you open the hand up. Your hand will now be open flat and the tension, stress, anxiety and fear will float away from you. With one final deep breath, blow on to the palm of your hand and send all those negative feelings away for good!

Notice if you feel a light sense of release as the anxiety leaves. You might imagine it floating up, up and away into the sky, taken away into the stratosphere. Repeat this little exercise up to three times and notice how much better you feel.

You can also tune into a free stress audio here: Serenity

How A Fall Helped Me Think More Clearly

Written by: Debbie

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes, most of which have never happened.” ~Mark Twain

Have you ever had one of those days where it seems as though everything that can does go wrong? You even manage to get in the wrong line at the grocery store. Then, as you listen to the conversation of the person who seemed to be taking forever getting their items, you realize their tale of woe is so horrific you feel foolish for the things you have allowed to bother you. Suddenly your perspective changes, maybe even your mood lifts and things just seem to be easier.

That is a case of a cognitive reframe. Stress has been proven to be increased as well as decreased depending on our thoughts. That’s because stress, anxiety, and irrational thinking have a big impact on daily life, and how you react to certain situations. Reframing techniques can actually change your physical responses to stress because your body’s stress response is triggered by perceived stress, not actual events.

Reframing thoughts about situations is often a part of what occurs in my office. It is something I am well aware of. I preach/teach it enough you might imagine I am one continual happy thought train. I would love to have that be true, even more so, to have the world think that about me. I am putting myself out there with this blog post, but I feel that by sharing this truth, I am allowing you, reader, to understand we are in this together.

This past Saturday, I went out for bike ride with my husband (Greg). We both enjoy riding; have ridden many miles over the years. It has always been a source of exercise and a mood enhancer for us both. I had recently been ill and still was not feeling my full strength as we head out. I couldn’t keep up my normal pace. But, I was going to fight through it.

At one point Greg noticed some incredible flowers tucked inside of a clump of trees. He called to me to turn around so that we could take a closer look at them. That is when my imbalance really kicked in and a turn I could normally do with ease became impossible and I fell. I laid on the ground with tears in my eyes, more out of humiliation than any pain.

Once up, I really enjoyed the flowers and took several pictures of them. All seemed well with the world in that moment. However, as we got back on the bikes, I allowed my thoughts to run away with me. I began to feel insecure. I felt old, clumsy, stupid and any other negative adjective I could come up with in those moments. At our next stop I began to lament my condition to Greg.

Greg would have none of it, so he worked his magic. He reminded me of a recent conversation with clients of his who had known of many people suffering from the same ailment I just had. Some were younger, smarter, more balanced, etc. but all had struggled with the virus. Many of them suffered longer than me. It is a credit to my immune system and my tenacity that I was out on the bike.

Suddenly it was if the sun rose. We were on a beach causeway and I noticed children and families playing, brilliant colors, the warm breeze, the sound of the water and yes, even a beloved dolphin swimming near-by. My thoughts were happy and confident thoughts. I felt strong on the bike and happy that I could enjoy this perfect day.

A simple change in thought changed my day. Can you think of ways your thoughts can help improve your day?

Stress Awareness Day 2014

Written by: Debbie

April 16 (the day after Tax Day, April 15) has become a special day to set aside for Americans to become aware of just how stressed they may have become! Everyone feels stressed from time to time and if left unchecked, it tends to be a real happiness killer as well as a threat to your health. This makes it harder for us to live joy-filled lives. Stress has also been reported to lead to a number of major health problems, ranging anywhere from anxiety or severe depression to physical symptoms such as a mild case of acne to life-threatening heart attacks. It is easy to see why it is so vitally important to keep life’s major stressors in check.

Scientists report that psychological stress may exact its toll, at least in part, by affecting molecules believed to play a key role in cellular aging and possibly, disease development. Anecdotal evidence and scientific evidence has have suggested that chronic stress can take years off your life. Stress can also have an indirect effect on the immune system as a person may use unhealthy behavioral coping strategies to reduce their stress, such as drinking and smoking. It is easy to see why it is so vitally important to keep life’s major stressors in check.

Enough of the dire news and warnings, I don’t need to stress you out more.

Instead, here are some quick tips for changing into a stress free zone for the day and at the end a link to 3 free audios I have available for you to reduce your stress!

Focus On The Now

So many people live their entire lives in yesterday or tomorrow. The truth is, however, that there is only the Now. Focusing on this moment, right now, provides a wonderful escape from the disappointment of what once was and the fear of what might be, leaving stress stuck in a time warp. (You do remember the Time Warp, right?)

2 Give Yourself A Pep Talk
Sometimes a good talking to is all you need to keep stress at bay. Maybe it is about time you gave yourself a pep talk, reminding yourself what is right with your life instead of dwelling on what’s wrong. Ask yourself how you got so lucky to have a roof over your head, food on the table and the opportunity to experience so much each day.

3. Get the Giggles
Laughter really is the best medicine. Watch a comedy, share a funny joke, or go to a card shop and read funny cards. I always told my sons to find a reason to smile and laugh as they walked out the door. Maybe you can do the same, then share whatever it is, give yourself time for laughter each and every day.

4. Use Self-Hypnosis
A still mind is a stress-free mind, so take a deep breath, quiet your thoughts and let the stress melt away. Even ten minutes done daily for the next 30 days will do wonders for releasing stress in your life.

5. Keep a Happiness Journal
Starting today, spend a few minutes reflecting on the day you just experienced and list five things about the day that delighted you. Review that list when tempted to return to the old stinking thinking track.

6. Lend A Helping Hand
Sometimes the best way to deal with stress is by providing relief to someone else. Placing your focus on others needs takes the focus off your own challenges. This will lead to less rumination and therefore less stress. So look around you, see who needs a hand up and offer yours.

7. Listen To A Hypnosis Audio
I have three audios I have created that are free for you. Just stop by anytime to listen. Share them with your friends, let’s get this stress-less party started! Stress Free Audios

Life Lessons Learned From Superheroes

Written by: Debbie

There seems to be a tremendous increase in the number of movies and shows about Superheroes. The idea of having extraordinary powers captivates the young and the old alike. If you think about it, the concept is as old as man. Consider Greek mythology or the Journey of the Fool that is portrayed in the Tarot. We love a good story of triumph over struggles. We see many of the superheroes as modern day Greek gods, (of secular life – otherworldly figures able to tackle the problems of this human world).

Like the gods of Greek mythology, superheroes are often flawed. (Some may argue that we need them to be flawed.) A part of their appeal is that we can relate to them, despite their powers. I personally have enjoyed many of the Marvel characters (no offence to DC comic fans) beginning with the X-Men and it’s metaphor for prejudices, Thor’s having to leave behind a life of privilege until he becomes humble, Captain America who’s strength is his compassion before he has physical strength and the soon to be explored in cinema Scarlet Witch (Yea for a female hero!).

We are drawn to their backstories, the apparent lessons they must learn or hardships overcome in order to become the superhero. At their best, superhero origin stories inspire us and provide models of coping with adversity, finding meaning in loss and trauma, discovering our strengths and using them for good purpose. (Wearing a cape or tights is optional.) There is something about the vulnerabilities they display that help us accept our own.

There is a growing trend amongst therapists to begin to use the Superheroes as part of their therapy. I have found the rich visuals of the transformations and adventures useful in some of my hypnosis sessions. It has certainly been an opportunity for me to get to better know some of my younger or geekier clients. (I do love me some geeks!) All of this leads me to think about some of the lessons I have learned through the stories of these characters. So here are 9 lessons I have learned from Superheroes.

1. Life has ups and downs. You can overcome one obstacle only to discover another one. Enjoy your victories, but understand you must always keep up the fight!

2. Not everyone will see you for who you are. Clark Kent is not recognized as Superman, nor is Peter Parker as Spider-Man or Bruce Banner as the Hulk.

3. Be proud of who you are. The X-men were misunderstood in spite of the good they did for mankind and not seen as human. How many groups can claim the same prejudice whether it is about their skin color, sexual orientation, gender, culture, religion or any other reason?

4. With great power comes great responsibility. Peter Parker chose to use his ability to scale any height to work for the good of all, rather than make a personal profit.

5. We can all make a difference. The lesson of Batman is this: you don’t have to be born with super powers to be a hero. Bruce Wayne can’t fly, he’s not part god, he doesn’t transform when he’s angry. He just fights bad guys. “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me,” Batman says in 2005’s “Batman Begins.” Even fractured people can make a difference.

6. Don’t be paralyzed by self-pity. Disabled? I don’t think so. Professor Charles Francis Xavier is a paraplegic, but he possesses one of the most powerful mutant minds of all time.

7. Don’t focus on your weaknesses. Superman let his secret out to the world regarding Kryptonite. It became the most effective tool used against him. Focus on your strengths instead of your “kryptonite”.

8. Everyone has a dark side. We all have our past or our “secrets” that we fear will someday be exposed and ruin us. The Scarlet Witch (aka Wanda Maximoff) went through many changes in character before she eventually became a positive force in the Avengers.

9. Capes are cool. I loved them as a kid and I still wouldn’t mind running around with a cape flying behind me.

I’d love to know what your thoughts are on the Superheroes and maybe even some lessons you have learned that I left out here. Please, next time you have a little spare time, imagine which Superhero you might be, close your eyes and imagine putting that ability or talent to good use. Then breathe in the thrill of adventure in your life or, just don a cape and fly!

Lena’s Story

Written by: Debbie

In January 2013, Lena Redding walked into my life. It was a slow and courageous walk. In the year that followed, her steps became lighter, quicker and more determined. I have had the great joy and privilege to be a part of that journey. Allow me to digress in order that I may explain.

Lena was recently featured in an article in the Personal Best section of the Tampa Bay Times. Writer Irene Maher shared Lena’s new found love of Zumba and how she has made the decision to inspire and motivate others to becoming fit and healthy no matter how large they are. (Lena began her own journey at 324 pounds.) However, that is only part of the story. Lena’s journey merged with mine when she decided to undergo the Virtual Lap Band™ program.

Lena said, “I always knew I needed to lose weight, no doubt, ‘cause I had tried many times, but my chiropractor had a very stern, but loving talk with me.” Dr. Scott Coletti spoke about the serious issues she would be facing in a 5’2” frame that was carrying 324 pounds. Although she had been a patient of the practice, it was not the doctor she would normally have visited with, which allowed this talk to stand out even more in her mind. Lena made the decision to turn this weight around for good.

Lena has tried numerous diets and programs throughout her life, and says that she, like most heavy people, knows all the tricks and tips to weight loss. She had tried the appetite suppressants in the past and knew they didn’t work for her. She decided to embark on a journey that included hypnosis. Earlier in her life she had ‘fallen” into using a trance state and discovered that it really worked for her. It helped her transition from knowing what to do into actually doing it.

Lena chose to go through a program known as the VirtualGastric Band™ (VGB). This is a procedure of hypnotherapy developed to train the brain to sense that the stomach has been reduced. The sensation is similar to the actual Gastric Band (Lap Band) surgical procedure where a band is placed around the top portion of the stomach creating a small pouch. This creates a feeling of being fuller with less food consumed and significant weight reduction is achieved. The VGB procedure is natural, safe and non-invasive.

Lena was from day one an exemplary client. One of the agreements in the program is that a client will purchase an item of clothing in their desired size. This is to be placed where it will be seen daily. I am insistent that it is something new, past purchases represent past failure. She not only bought the dress she wanted, she named it. She has kept the outfit wherever she was around her home and even put a picture of it on her cellphone wallpaper to view when away from home. Lena and her outfit have had some serious conversations when she has been tempted to cheat.

Beyond the weight, she says that her biggest change has been that she is now a person who likes to move, she would rather walk and talk then sit and talk. She prefers to be active over going out to snack with friends. Shopping is easier (she no longer needs her friend along to tie shoes when she tries them on), she can check her calendar when invited to go to an event instead of checking on the distance she would have to walk and the size of the seats available. She also believes she is more relaxed with the help of hypnosis, she states, “things aren’t as serious as they used to be”. Even when things are bad her attitude has become “can we solve it and how? If not, it is what it is.”

Although Lena has had tremendous support from Margo, the same friend who used to tie her shoes and she knows she can call her if feeling tempted to get the reminders of why she is doing this. However, not all friends are the same and so Lena believes that you have to be able to walk this journey on your own, because at the end of the day, it is only you who will step on that scale. With as much weight as she needed to shed, there were some moments of temptation and self-doubt. That is when she would listen to her hypnosis audios from the sessions we shared.

I asked Lena what she liked best about the Virtual GastricBand™ program. This was her response: “What did I like best about the hypnosis sessions?

I imagined the session would focus on what I ate and how much exercise I did. Boy was I wrong. The sessions were not just focused on what I ate and how much exercise I did or didn’t do that week. Of course we did discuss those things. However during the session you asked questions like what’s going on? With that being said, it was up to me to decide what I wanted/needed to talk about. You were more like a facilitator or guide. My answer would generate more questions on your part. By you asking the probing questions we’d get to what the actual issue was. Then another question to help me think about how I could handle the issue/stress in the future.

Stress eating was an issue for me so if I determined how to handle the stress better it was more likely I’d do it. That was the key I determined ways to solve my own problems. The sessions worked so well because I was an active participant.”

After Lena dropped some Zumba flyers by his office, Dr. Coletti called Lena to congratulate her on the changes she has made. She said it was a great 15–20 minutes with a “whole lotta love”. Lena has invited me to join in her Zumba classes and I can attest to her energy in those classes.

When asking Lena if she had any final words for others who want to drop weight and have tried all the usual ways. Her response was, “Overweight people have tried so many things, so why not try stepping outside the box?” She says that feeling the band in her stomach and working on her reasons for overeating have changed her for life!

To attend one of Lena’s Zumba classes, find her schedule here: Lena Reddings Zumba

UPDATE: The fine folks at Zumba found this article and suggested that I could add a link to their coupons. To quote them, “who doesn’t love to save?” Here is the link…. Coupon Codes Zumba

Losing Snakes on St. Patrick’s Day

Written by: Debbie

St Patrick’s Day is here and the celebrations are in full swing, from turning rivers green (famously in Chicago and even locally the Hillsborough River) to parades and parties. The reason for the celebration, according to tradition, is in honor of St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland. However, as there is little evidence that this island ever had many snakes. Apparently, as snakes in biblical terms represent evil and Pagans were considered the same by Christians, it was the Pagan folks that were driven away (or converted.)

I like to use the metaphor in my life in a bit different way. I am not in any rush to drive Pagans or any other group of people out of my life, but evil can leave. Now, I am not plagued by evil, don’t mean to imply that. However, anything that stands in the way of my true inner peace can leave now.

Ironically, I once had a horrid fear of snakes. It took some self -hypnosis and contact with the creatures for me to change that. So, what are the snakes that I and so many others I meet deal with? FEAR is a biggie! Fear can rob us of inner peace as quickly as it becomes a thought.

We have a continuous inner voice that seems to rage on and on when we are anxious or fearful. This self-talk hugely affects our emotions and behaviors. When we start telling ourselves things that don’t line up with reality we get into trouble. We start thinking and believing thoughts that just aren’t true and these false beliefs become a prime breeding ground for unhealthy fears.

Often our first impulse when we experience fear is to avoid the source. When the danger is real, avoidance is an appropriate tactic. When fear is irrational, avoidance is inappropriate and will only make the problem more intense. Many people are in the habit of seeing the negative side of any challenging situation. When we focus on the negatives, we resist taking action and continue to avoid, becoming stuck. The more we focus on the possibility of loss the more anxiety and fear we create.

Avoidance is a serious obstacle to dealing with fear because it works. We temporarily feel good through avoidance. The problem is we can condition ourselves to avoid something rather than face it. As a result, we give a portion of our lives over to the thing we fear, letting it control us. Avoidance will never make fear go away.

You may find it helpful to make a list of any specific fears you have and get them out in the open. In each situation that leaves you feeling hesitant or fearful, try to understand exactly what is holding you back. What is it that you are afraid will happen and why? Are those things really likely to occur, or is there only a slight chance? If you take your fear to the extreme that you are worried about, what are the odd of that extreme coming through?

Next, use a separate sheet of paper and create a list of the benefits you stand to gain by moving forward. Be as specific and optimistic as you can. Remember that dread and fear will amplify your perception of the negative possibilities, which can make the positive benefits seem significantly smaller or less important. So, you may need to work a little harder at emphasizing the positive.

Comparing the two lists, you can then make a balanced decision. You will have a better, more balanced view of your options.

Recently I spoke with a woman plagued with anxiety attacks. Apparently, the onset of these attacks coincided with her beginning a job search. The more we discussed her concerns about finding the right job, the more her fears were expressed. When we took these fears to their extreme, she decided she was not likely to end up a homeless bag lady or dead on the streets of Tampabay. As we discussed the possibilities of what could go right, her fears began to dissipate.

In her case, she decided to move forward with the job search. She is not going to let fear get in her way. So, her snakes have been driven away.

Take a moment today to channel your inner St. Patrick and drive those snakes out of your life. Breathe in that inner peace, picture and imagine the beauty of those Irish hills and wonder what beauty might be waiting for you to enjoy.

The Power of Words

Written by: Debbie

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”` Rudyard Kipling

This week, sponsored by the National Association of Independent Writers and Editors, celebrates words and their importance.

We grew up believing the children’s rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Yet, at some point, you realized that was completely untrue and that words could hurt. Words can change our relationships, our demeanor, our entire system of beliefs, and even our businesses. Words have a dramatic effect on what we know, how we interact with people and the decisions we ultimately make. Words can influence us, inspire us or just as easily bring us to tears.

As we grow up, the words we hear from parents, coaches, teachers and authority figures help to shape our beliefs in ourselves. We begin an inner dialogue that can be incredibly supportive (I am smart enough to figure this out) or terribly discouraging (I always screw things up!). Our self-talk can be terribly sabotaging when we are working towards a goal. For example, when you tell yourself that you will gain weight by even looking at a donut, the subconscious mind is a willing participant. It will begin the process of holding on to fat whenever you look at a donut.

When we begin to recognize this, we can shift our thinking and our words. “I have the strength to keep running until I reach my goal”. Think about the story of The Little Engine That Could. The opening sentence is, “She was a happy little train.” The familiar refrain from the story is “I think I can, I think I can” as she chugged up the steep hill. Indeed, she did!

Are you replaying old tapes in your head of all the reasons, excuses you will fall short? Are your words setting you up for failure? What if you began to think you can? How might you be different? What would change in your attitude, in your behavior and in your words?

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