Hard Won Wisdom

Written by: Debbie

I have previously posted about a great author I have had the great privilege of knowing, Fawn Germer. Fawn has written several books, I reviewed her most recent book, The New Woman Rules. Well, an earlier book was Hard Won Wisdom, also a must read. Fawn travels the country as a keynote speaker as well. Now, she has started a blog all her own. So, stop by and check out my friend’s blog. Hard Won Wisdom Tell her Debbie sent you!

I also want to thank Vincent Parker of 200 Sacred Words for awarding me with the honor of the I Love Your Blog Award. Vincent said, “. I chose the following not for a specific type of blog, but for the essence of purpose and their passion about the material they write and present.” That is an honor for sure. Thanks so very much!

I was asked to guest post on another hypnosis blog. The article went live today. It is the story of a client of mine who came to locate money, what he found instead was a deeper truth. That story is posted here: Debbie Lane And The Case Of Sal. The blog is a great hypnosis blog, many of my most respected colleagues have added articles. I recommend the blog for finding information. It is: Hypnosis Information & Articles Blog By Joshua Houghton.

I will be back on track tomorrow. Today, I am taking my friend to the airport so she can take care of the details of saying good bye for one last time to her mother in their home state of Maine.

How To Use Your Skills To Build Rapport

Written by: Debbie

There was an article sent to me today about building rapport with clients. It is essential for me to build rapport with my clients in order for our work together to be successful. I realize however, that it is essential to build rapport with anyone whom I hope to engage in a peaceful relationship. In Fawn Germer’s book (The New Woman Rules), she discusses how important networking is. Networking is work Germer states.

Over and again, the successful women she wrote about, mention the relationships they build along their journeys. One particularly interesting analogy came from Tara Weiner. She spoke of tribal dances performed by men of the tribe before the hunt or to bring rain. The dance isn’t about making rain or improving the hunt as much as it is about bonding. Building rapport with each other.

Neuro-lingusitic programming offers many ways of creating rapport. If you observe two people conversing who have rapport, you notice how they naturally move in step with each other. It is like a dance, elegant and in unison. In NLP, this is called matching and mirroring. One wants to be aware, however, not to just mimic. People respond positively to mirroring, while they do not like mimicry or the feeling that they are being made fun of.

The other thing to keep in mind is pacing. In order to lead somebody, to influence them with your point of view, remember to really listen to them. You want to fully acknowledge them and truly understand where they have come from. Remember, be patient about it.

This is only the beginning of building rapport, but two very important steps. Observe people while you are out and about over the next few days. Notice if you can tell without hearing a word they speak whether they are happy to be together or angry or even disinterested.

Failures? Lessons! The New Woman Rules

Written by: Debbie

Recently I have had the good fortune of being introduced to an incredible author. Fawn Germer is a Pulitzer-nominated author of two best selling books, “Hard Won Wisdom” and “Mustang Sallies”. Fawn has been recommended by Oprah Winfrey, so how much more can I say? When I obtained my copy of her latest book, “The New Woman Rules” (More than 50 trailblazers share their wisdom) I could not wait to sit down and read it. It has been more like devour it!

This book is the personal stories of extraordinary businesswomen who have more than succeeded, they are at the very top! These women vary in background and education, but they are all leaders. In reading their stories, they seem like my friends, sisters and colleagues. So, what makes them so different? Why did they get to the top when so many don’t? Fawn carefully explains the lessons they share from don’t hesitate to raise your hand to ask others for help.

I think what struck me the most however, was the amazing ability that each of these women had to rely on their inner wisdom. They explored their inspirations and allowed whatever was meant to be, be. I am not saying they ran wildly into the night spending foolishly at the expense of the company they worked for. It is just that they also did not over analyze their instincts. Not every experiment was a success, either.

Cathy Green, the COO of Food Lion tells of an experiment to expand a store she was managing early in her career. She was successful in increasing sales and needed more space for product. So, she decided to add a tent outside. The town council required a $15,000 sidewalk installed for this tent, she had the expense of Muzak, lights and shelving. When it was finished, she says it was debatable if they even made $100 from it. Here is her take on it,”Someone looking in might say it was a failure. But it gave me broad learning about working with town politics, driving business and bringing a vision to life. You learn from everything. Failure is not an option.”

Over and over I read those sentiments in the book. Each of these women had the vision to see what lessons they learned and keep on going. Many of them made lateral moves along the way, some even stepped down in order to step up later. These women were able to “re-frame” the events in their lives in a way that benefited them, their co-workers and their companies.

Fawn sums the lessons up so well in her conclusion. To quote her, “Be your true self. You are your greatest asset, so work it.” Later she states,”See yourself as belonging at the top, and you will belong at the top.” In other words, release fear and visualize the life you desire now!

Thank you Fawn for writing this incredible book!