“Whenever we take a chance and enter unfamiliar territory or put ourselves into the world in a new way, we experience fear. Very often this fear keeps us from moving ahead with our lives.” Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
We all encounter the feeling of fear at one time or another. Whether it is a fear of loss, rejection, public speaking, failure, the list goes on and on. Fear creates a biological response in our bodies known as the Flight or Fight Response. At times of true danger, such as an angry bear charging at us, that response can come in handy. Realistically, in most of our lives, those experiences are few and far between. Our challenges are more of an emotional nature. Still, we have those feelings when we dwell on our challenges.
“No matter what degree of insecurity you are feeling, a part of you knows there is a lot of wonderful “stuff” within you just waiting to be let out, and NOW is the perfect time for opening the door to the power and love within.” Susan Jeffers
The good news is that emotional pain can’t kill you and that’s why doing something you know you need to do, even if it’s scary, can be the most important tool to overcoming fear. Most of the time, once you’ve actually done something scary for the first time, you find it really wasn’t that scary at all and the fear goes away.
Make a Decision
Waiting and worrying only intensifies a fear. Making a decision allows you to move out of inertia into motion. Decide today that – no matter what – you will succeed, you will move forward, whether it’s painful or not. Remember, emotional pain is a perception. It is only real if you make it real.
It helps to write it down. If you make notes about your feelings regarding a decision, without judgment, a pattern will begin to emerge. This will help point out how you feel about the direction you want to take. Then writing down your decision as a goal sends a powerful message to your subconscious mind. It solidifies that regardless, this is the direction you’re moving in. The subconscious mind will go to work to find the resources within you and outside opportunities to make it happen.
Quiet the Monkey Mind
There is a broken record of thoughts that has kept you stuck from moving forward, the monkey mind. Constantly judging everything and everyone, we believe that others are watching and judging us. That creates the dilemma of, if we make a wrong decision, we might be embarrassed. Only the self-serving ego cares about such things. Recognize when the ego is trying to hold you back. This is the false self and will never get you to where you want to go. Be aware of it and love yourself anyway!
“Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.” Susan Jeffers
Play the “What If” Game
Instead of focusing on what if I fail, ask yourself, what if this works? How would I be different if I acted on this decision? How much more painful will it be if I look back and I didn’t at least give it my best shot? Sometimes this kind of pain is more devastating than the pain of just doing it.
Learning to ask the right questions is an important part of this. Remember, the subconscious mind does not judge what you ask, it only provides the appropriate information to your conscious mind based on past experiences when you got hurt or, conversely, when you succeeded. This is all based on the questions you ask.
Get Off Your Own Case
Our words have power. They affect how we think and feel. Decide today to only say things in the positive tense and avoid all negative words. Remind yourself, “There is no such thing as failure…only growth and learning.” Ultimately, you are responsible for how you feel. Take responsibility for your thoughts, without guilt or blame. When you realize you have spent a life time being unconscious about your thoughts and feelings, you can be kinder to yourself as you begin to be more conscious. It will take a little practice to get into a better habit. Know that you can change your thoughts, by becoming consciously aware of them and then making different choices.
