March is International Listening Awareness Month, as proclaimed by the International Listening Association (ILA). The mission of the ILA, according to their site is to advance the practice, teaching, and research of listening throughout the world. Interestingly, we are, in general very poor listeners. According to the International Listening Association, we only retain about half of what we hear immediately after we hear it, and only about 20% beyond that.
Last evening I went to a fun event (Hockey ‘N Heels) with a friend at the Amalie Arena. There were numerous women attending and so we were broken into groups as we toured a very large arena. The tour guides were very clear in their instructions, in order that people would remain safe while having a good time. The two of us noticed how frequently those instructions were ignored. In each of the stops along the tour, information was shared by both Lightning Team members and those who work in the background of the arena.
I learned a ton, yet still, I have to admit I have forgotten as much as I learned. My mind wandered off to much of the other stimulus that was going on at the same time. The constant chatter of the ladies with their friends showed me that they too were often other directed. I noticed that some of the ladies seeming to be caught up in their own world, wanting to share their views and hear their own voices instead of listening to the speaker.
Benefits of Better Listening
So if you could imagine if we were all able to boost our ability to listen so we retained 75% of what we heard immediately after hearing it and 50% long term what the implications might be? Effective listening like that would be amazing. Here are a few advantages we might experience.
- Relationships would improve as our partners would feel heard.
- We would have more empathy and compassion for others, possibly fewer arguments.
- We could be more efficient as we would hear and recall instructions more easily, thus making fewer mistakes.
- In business, we would be better negotiators and as consumers we would be smarter.
How To Listen Better
So in honor of International Listening Awareness Month, here is a list of ways to become a more effective listener.
- Stop talking.
- Stop thinking about what your response will be while the other person is speaking.
- Create triggers to help you recall what has been said.
- Avoid judgment; try to understand the motivation for the speaker through a deeper understanding of their history.
- Eliminate distractions where possible, put the phones and social media down!
- Be fully in the moment.
- Practice inviting body language such as eye contact and turning toward the speaker, the mind will follow the body.
- Participate in active listening by encouraging the speaker with nods and affirmative words.
- Summarize and repeat what you heard when it’s your turn to talk.
- Ask questions.
Perhaps if you begin to practice better listening skills with others, you will also find you listen to the quiet voice within. I know that when I stay in the moment, instead of trying to find hidden meanings in what others say, I remain more peaceful. I also have found that by listening to nature, I am more peaceful. Just this morning I awoke early to hear birds singing. That was a peaceful start to my day and set the tone for better listening with those I encountered.
