Once again, I am honored to have the contributions from P. W. Dowdy. My connection with this fabulous writer can only be described as a miracle. We live miles and miles apart. We have only been connected through the magic of the internet and yet, I feel as though she is my friend, maybe even my sister. She sent this article to me for sharing and I feel blessed to be able to do so.

7 Ways To Offer Love

Due to Hollywood propaganda, offering effective love today can lie in obscurity for some. Flowers and other wooing are great flatterers, but can our non- emotional actions express love more effectively?

In Sonnet 116, Shakespeare noted that “love alters not with its alterations find, nor bend with the remover to remove…it is ever fixed…never shaken.”

In that actions commonly proceed from attitude, Shakespeare’s attitude about live is a great place to start. If you wish to show love to someone – whether they understand it immediately or not — here are 7 Do’s and Don’ts:

  • As Shakespeare encouraged, commit to love the person in spite of their fragilities or shortcomings. You have faults as well, which your loved one is also discovering as your relationship matures.
  • Don’t expect “peak experiences” from your connectedness all of the time. Writer Abraham Maslow coined the phrase to mean exactly what it says. Everyday of our lives we do not reach the mountaintop. Nor should we demand such peak experiences from those we love.
  • Listening is not the core of communication in a relationship unless it is a listening with interest. It is more than simply hearing what a loved-one is saying (while waiting your turn to speak). Listening is opening your heart as well as your ears to what someone else is saying. It is caring about a side of the issue that you may not have before considered.
  • On the other hand, opening up and letting the other person see your vulnerability is a good part of communication as well. “This is how I felt when you did that. I hope we can agree to work this out because I don’t want to be at odds with you over this. Help me to understand how I (unintentionally) offended you.
  • Sacrificing your time when it is inconvenient to do so to help a loved one who has no one else to turn is an action of true love. Such an attitude is the basis of all good friendships. With time, any interpersonal connection void of friendship will melt down to two selfish people taking from each other, but scarcely seeing the need to give.
  • Can you say these three words when appropriate? “I Am Sorry.”
  • “Here, let me hold you until you let go of that stress” is another loving attitude to express and do. It is the height of giving oneself when a loved one is overwhelmed.

Love is both inborn and learned. It takes the key of compassion to activate either expression. These seven means will build that compassion in you.

Debbie speaking again, How can I help but love what Pat wrote? She has no blog or website (yet) or I would link to it. She is writing a novel. I was given a sneak peek at it and I am so excited to read the whole thing when she is complete. In the meantime, I am grateful for her contributions here.