The arrival of spring brings thoughts of new beginnings and new possibilities. We tend to spring clean our homes, cleaning out the dirt, the cobwebs that have collected through out the dark winter in our homes. Spring cleaning can happen in our minds as well. When you eliminate the clutter that surrounds you, your body and your head often begin to release as well. (How cool is that right before swimsuit season?)
It is so freeing when you release old negative self talk, the tapes we play over and over of all the reasons we are stuck in a rut. What if we destroyed those old tapes, that old stinking thinking? Imagine finding evidence of ways we are worthy of happiness?
I just had a marvelous young woman in my office, I will call her Eve for this purpose. Eve told me how her boss will bring attention to her accomplishments during meetings, in a positive way, yet, still she hates it. She said her boss celebrates her and she wants to crawl into a hole. Further discussion revealed that the boss was sincere.
Apparently, Eve was never celebrated as a child. In fact, quite the opposite. So, this new feeling was uncomfortable. She did eventually recall one time in her life when her family did celebrate a very real accomplishment. “It felt so good to be heard and seen”, Eve said. We began to look for evidence in her life of times she was heard and seen. Each time she found any, Eve imagined a celebration, feeling those same good feelings from the initial event we discussed. The next step for Eve was to begin a daily journal of moments that she felt she was heard and seen. No matter how small the event, it was a compilation of evidence that she can and will be seen, heard and celebrated.
Perhaps you can find a thought or belief that has been cluttering your mind and holding you back. Begin to search your memory for a time that proved otherwise. Find a second and finally a third piece of evidence. Take a moment to relive those times and create the same sense of good feelings that you felt originally. Each day continue to write these moments down to create your evidence journal. Spend five minutes a day imagining a new thought and allow the clutter to be cleaned out of your mind.
As a post script to Eve, she called to let me know that her boss again mentioned her during a staff meeting. This time she smiled, beamed is what she actually said she did!
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I was very touched by your story of Eve.And not surprised you were able to help her. But she reminded me of so many people I have run into with similar childhood stories. It made me realize that I am much luckier than I said I was.( I see you smiling) I was always told as a child that I was special and could do anything. And I believed it.Altho my body is now failing me I still believe I can do almost anything I put my mind to.My mother was far from a good mother but in this one area I see I was blessed. I don’t think I did as well with my kids.
I was just happy to hear Eve now can accept good thoughts about herself.
Someone told me many years ago that when given a compliment to just smile and say thank you.
Eleni,
You know you always make me smile! I happen to know that you are a loving mother and I am sure your kids know just how lucky they are to have you as their mom!
[…] have written about self-talk before. It is such a part of how we see ourselves. Yesterday it dawned on me that it was time for […]