Clearing Those Negative Thoughts

Written by: Debbie

There seems to be a common theme in my clients recently, regardless of the presenting issue, they all have this incredible ability to predict the future. Now, the prediction isn’t accurate, but still they believe the garbage they think. For instance, one client took a leap that went from eating a cookie to becoming a homeless bag lady. How, you ask? Well, she is looking for another job as she knows that her company is about to be acquired by a bigger corporation. We have been working together on her weight issues. As a stress eater, she gave in to the siren call of a cookie, so now she knows she will never drop the weight and no one will ever hire her as a result of her perception of her appearance. (A skewed perception I might add as she is lovely.) Another client announced in our first visit that his life was doomed to be loveless as he and his wife were stuck in a rut and he had no way of recovering the love they once shared. Still another shared with me her prediction of divorce because her husband still smoked after she quit! So many negative thoughts!

The litany of doomsday projections goes on and on. To be truthful, I have done the same thing. I saw one particular health symptom as the evidence I needed to prove that something much darker was going on in my body. Fortunately, I took action and visited the appropriate health professional to find out that wikapedia is not my best friend! I fell into the same trap as my clients and went as fast as I could down the negative expressway.

Coping With Bad News

Written by: Debbie

“Into each life some rain must fall.” A famous quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and yet, there are times it seems more like a monsoon. We have all been given bad news, whether it is the loss of a job, a lover or a negative health prognosis. The news can leave us with our heads spinning while anxiety, fear and dread take over. However you put it, bad news is exactly what it is: stressful, unpleasant and consuming.

We can’t make bad news go away. It is a fact of life that bad things happen, even to good people and so, stress occurs in our lives. Acknowledging this can be empowering providing you use the information in the right way. By being mindful, we help ourselves to stay steady, learn something new while remaining in the now. We can appreciate the now. So how does one begin coping with bad news?

How Effective Is Hypnosis?

Written by: Debbie

People often ask me if hypnosis works. They want to know how effective hypnosis is.

Do I really need to say anything more?

Waiting To Be Happy

Written by: Debbie

A girlfriend of mine told me when she got a divorce that she would be happy when she finally found her soul mate. Well, that was eleven years ago and she is still searching. Funny thing, she still tells me the same thing. That makes me sad, after all, that is eleven years of not being happy! Many of my clients tell me when they reach a goal they will be able to be happy. I am in favor of them working towards those stated goals; I help many people along the journey of change they desire. Still, why must people wait to be happy?

By waiting for a future of happiness, we are living in a state of future thought, missing out on the now. How can one be mindful if they are always living in a fantasy of future times? It seems to me that happiness shouldn’t be something dangling out there in tomorrow or someday. It isn’t a feeling to experience once something else happens. Happiness is to be experienced now, in this moment. When our focus is on the future and we connect happiness to future events we can miss out on any immediate opportunities for joy and fulfillment.

You will find that happiness is more powerful when experienced as an immediate emotion instead of a carrot to be sought after. Ironically, people often discover that when they place future conditions on happiness, when those conditions are met, the pleasure is not what they had expected. The key is to learn how to release the unknown future and the past and allow the goodness of the moment to fill you with inner peace. The present moment is all that we have. It is when you find meaning and satisfaction in the present; you’ll discover that your future will take care of itself.

What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?

Written by: Debbie

“What does hypnosis feel like? I’m not sure that I can go under, I don’t think I was under last time.” I recently had a woman tell me this as we sat and discussed her previous experience and her goals. I had taken the time to patiently explain to her during our first visit that hypnosis doesn’t “feel” like anything. Still, she wanted that “feely” experience. We have several sessions mapped out as she has a sleeping disorder that spans 50+ years. She is not happy with the sleeping pills she was prescribed, but even more fearful of not having them. So, after a friend of hers suggested she try hypnosis with me, she decided to give it a go. She is highly motivated, willing to do the work I give her after our sessions. It was just that she was unsure she was going under.

I asked her what she had felt in the first session, she replied, “Very relaxed, is all.” When she got home and listened to the audios I had given her, she said she felt very relaxed again. I asked her what she thought she should be experiencing. She didn’t know, she just felt like this wasn’t it. After all, it was a familiar feeling. She could hear me during the trance portion of the session and felt as if she could open her eyes at any time.

Breathe Your Stress Away, Practice Mindfulness

Written by: Debbie

What if I told you that you could reduce your stress, lower your blood pressure, manage pain and improve your sleep without any costly equipment or difficult procedures? Would you be interested? What if I also told you that you could do this regardless of your age, sex or religious views? Are you interested? I hope so, because what I am saying is that you too can learn this skill.
What I am talking about is practicing mindfulness. The most important thing we can do is to ensure that our lives aren’t wasted in wishing or regretting. When we remain in the moment, we are able to maintain peace. If I spent all my time thinking about the mistakes I have made in the past, I might not enjoy the fun that is available to me now. I live in paradise, a boat ride from an island that our neighbors all gather on during warm weekends and a bike ride from a quaint town that people spend their hard earned dollars to vacation in. It wouldn’t serve me to focus on the times I have put my foot in my mouth, even though there have been a few too many of those.

Just Breathe!

It is easy to get caught up in the business of the day, multi-tasking and crossing things off of the To Do list. Mindfulness isn’t something we naturally do, especially in an era where we are always available.

Weight Loss – One Pound At A Time

Written by: Debbie

This morning I had a client who has been working for 6 weeks on her weight loss goals. In that time, she has made some tremendous changes in her habits. I love working with her and she has had some good results. She has dropped a little over 15 pounds, yet still she was concerned she wasn’t doing enough. I know how it is, we all want those quick dramatic results, like we see on those reality television shows. The problem is, that isn’t always the best way to go. When there has been any kind of follow up done, a good number of the contestants have regained their weight and more. I see this frequently with dieters. Furthermore, not all of the methods they use are realistic or even safe.

When we reviewed her changes, she was suddenly very pleased. She used to drink several sodas a day. She has stopped that and quipped how she can drive past a Circle K store that advertises a deal on soda and not automatically pull into the parking lot. As a result, her inflammation has reduced and she is experiencing less pain. She no longer stops at the drive-thru’s to get a quick meal or snack. Her digestion has improved, no more constant heart burn or other digestive disorders. She has eliminated over indulgence in pasta and bread. Her moods have improved. Suddenly 15 pounds seemed like a ton!

My client still has progress to make. She wants to shed about 45 pounds more. She will do just that, one pound at a time. She is learning new habits including more movement into her daily routine and new ways of thinking about herself as well. She has begun to deal with the reasons she gained the weight in the first place. As a result, she is beginning to like herself more. She is also asserting herself in healthy new ways.

So, if you are on the journey of shedding excess weight, remember that it is a one pound at a time effort. Set smaller goals along the way to your ultimate goal. Mark those achievements and reward yourself with something that brings you pleasure that isn’t food related. Most important, be kind to yourself. It is your journey towards improved health. Begin to look within for the love you deserve, be your own best friend. Food is not your friend, it is simply fuel. If friends and loved ones attempt to sabotage you, call upon a professional to help keep you on track. Be your own champion, because the reward at the end is all yours!

Move Beyond Fear

Written by: Debbie

“Whenever we take a chance and enter unfamiliar territory or put ourselves into the world in a new way, we experience fear. Very often this fear keeps us from moving ahead with our lives.” Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

We all encounter the feeling of fear at one time or another. Whether it is a fear of loss, rejection, public speaking, failure, the list goes on and on. Fear creates a biological response in our bodies known as the Flight or Fight Response. At times of true danger, such as an angry bear charging at us, that response can come in handy. Realistically, in most of our lives, those experiences are few and far between. Our challenges are more of an emotional nature. Still, we have those feelings when we dwell on our challenges.

“No matter what degree of insecurity you are feeling, a part of you knows there is a lot of wonderful “stuff” within you just waiting to be let out, and NOW is the perfect time for opening the door to the power and love within.” Susan Jeffers

The good news is that emotional pain can’t kill you and that’s why doing something you know you need to do, even if it’s scary, can be the most important tool to overcoming fear. Most of the time, once you’ve actually done something scary for the first time, you find it really wasn’t that scary at all and the fear goes away.

Beware The Hungry Hypnotist

Written by: Debbie

Beware of the hungry hypnotist. You may have met him or her. The one who tells you that you can only make changes through their guidance, they claim that only through loyalty to them will you be successful. Some have even been known to make such suggestions while conducting trance work, performing what is known as a hypnotic block.
Post hypnotic suggestions such as this are highly unethical and usually not terribly effective. Still, do you want to work with someone who is so controlling? I have heard stories from clients of a local hypnotist who works in weight management. He begins by telling the individuals that they will only succeed if they do everything he tells them to, the emphasis on the everything. He apparently uses some intimidation tactics as a convincer. UGH! The smart ones leave his office quickly.
Recently on reddit of all places I came across a hypnotist asking how to keep his clients faithful to only him. He likened it to a romantic relationship where he has been cheated on. His words: “The reason I got to this point of thinking is in my trying to find an explanation to why my highly conditioned subjects would become slaves to random stranger on the internet, when they had little interest in that. They go into trance. With some random stranger. “
He wanted help making his block stronger. He was not concerned about his clients becoming slaves to others, as he had no evidence of any such thing ever occurring. As I hoped, other professionals saw this as I did, WRONG! Suggestions were made that he work on his issues of control and fear. He sent me a personal missive, attempting to justify his behavior. I stand by my original belief that he has crossed a line.
I post this as a reminder that you, dear reader, are a consumer. It is up to you to be sure you have rapport with the hypnotist you work with. Be willing to walk away if you feel the hypnotherapist doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Ask questions. Find out who they refer to or if they believe they are the answer to all things for all people. I feel the same way about doctors, lawyers or any other professional who you are dealing with. If it doesn’t fit, don’t try to force it. I have given potential clients the names of another individual whom I trust, if I felt we wouldn’t be a good fit. May I never be so hungry that I would throw another person’s life away in such a fashion. May I never be so jealous that only I can own another, regardless of the relationship.

How To Keep Your Resolutions

Written by: Debbie

It’s a new year and time for a new start, or so we thought on New Year’s Eve. We were determined to put the holidays and the past behind us and become that person we believe we should be. So, break out the resolutions. This is the year I will lose weight! This is the year I will become more financially stable. This is the year I quit smoking. Now, half way into the first month, we are over eating, over spending and still smoking once again. If that is you, don’t fret, you are a part of the 40% of people who bothered to make a resolution and subsequently were unable to keep it. There is hope still to make those changes, don’t give up.

One of the reasons we tend to fail at resolutions is that we try to make too many changes at once, without really defining what they are. Unhealthy behaviors develop over the course of time. Thus, replacing unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones requires time. Don’t get overwhelmed and think that you have to reassess everything in your life. Instead, work toward changing one thing at a time. Break that goal down as well, into smaller more manageable actions. If, for example, your aim is to exercise more frequently, schedule three or four days a week at the gym instead of seven.

Be sure to notice the changes you have made. All too often we focus on what we haven’t done, instead of what we have. When I ask my clients how they have done since a previous session, often the response is all about what they haven’t done. I have to stop them and remind them, “what was the question?” It is then that they will begin to see all the changes that have occurred. Once aware of those changes, we can build upon that success with more successes. Reward yourself for each small step along the journey to success. Find a healthy way to feel good about those changes.

DebbieDona

Do I really need to say anything more?

Just Breathe!