DebbieDona

Many years ago, when my children were very young, my husband and I had dinner with a couple whom we adore. They had two older sons and a much younger daughter. They are bright, both professionals , with a wonderful sense of humor. The conversation turned around to parenting issues (as it often will with parents of little ones). The husband, Lloyd told us about how he loved to tease in a playful way his sons. He would do things that were silly to get a laugh. Sometimes he would pull a trick on them, nothing harmful.

What we loved about his philosophy was that he believed we all end up in Freud’s office eventually, blaming our parents for whatever foibles we have. He decided to address that right up front and give his kids reasons to complain. He coined this, “the revenge method of parenting”. We loved it! I have always said that a mother’s job is to embarrass her children, this seemed to fit right in with that. Therefore, we too, adopted the revenge method of parenting.

Over the years, we refer to it, when laughing with our boys. Last night was a great example of this. It seems that recently my youngest son enters the room at the oddest parts of any given conversation. We may be discussing broccoli, but he walks in as we make a comment that would infer a thousand other topics. He has walked into the living room when the television was on, with a commercial for a show on cable we might never watch, but still, the ad is racy. He will then act mortified, that we are watching such trash. This continued through the night last night, so we decided to have fun with it. Every time we heard his foot steps, we would change the conversation to something totally gross. We accused the dog of all kinds of bodily functions. We would start whispering and giggling or engage in a tremendous lip lock. The poor kid was begging us to get a door that locked into the room, to let him move away, something, anything!

I share this with you, not to garner sympathy for my son. I share this, because I wanted to give you an idea of how easy it is to enjoy laughter. We all laughed all night long, my son shared the world’s worst jokes with us and the night flew by. Here is a link to a fun blog I have recently encountered. They use the English language as a tool for humor, in a clean way! Idiocrasies of the English Language.

Oh, and by the way, Thanks Dr. Lloyd Tabb for giving us this great method and the happiness it has brought over the years!

Did you know that you can release weight through laughter? Really, that’ not a joke. A really good belly laugh, a howl, for fifteen minutes daily will burn up to four extra pounds in a year. Is that enough to win The Biggest Loser? No, but hey, every pound counts. Besides, what better way to help clear out that old stinking thinking!

Children laugh easily and often. It has been said up to 400 times a day. How wonderful is the sound of a child laughing? Yet, as we age, we become serious. Deadly serious. We are lucky to laugh ten times in a day. Funny thing is laughter has so many positive side effects, an actual mind body connection. Our circulation improves as our heart rate quickens, just as in an aerobic workout. Therefore, muscles are worked. Our blood pressure will rise with laughter and then drop below baseline when we finish. Our lungs expand with oxygen and the immune system is boosted. Endorphins (the body’s feel good chemical) are released.

Each morning before my youngest son leaves the house for school, I remind him to find a reason to smile and laugh. When I pick him up after school, he reports to me a funny event of the day. This has taught him to laugh at himself, see the humor in a situation and keep his mind on the positive. It is humbling for me, on the days that I allow life to become too serious. We have great times laughing together, because laughter is contagious.

Laughter is a major tool in our family life. My husband loves to dance with shopping carts in the grocery store, I must admit it has made shopping a whole lot more fun. My oldest will text me through out his day with funny events that happen on campus. I wrote previously about a fun hypnosis experiment I conducted on 97X FM radio. We work daily to keep our positive attitude alive and well.

Imagine burning those extra pounds, improving your health and having fun doing it. Why not start a daily list of reasons to laugh. Begin to record the events that occur through out your day that tickle your funny bone. I wonder how fast that list will grow? How much more you’ll notice the fun in life? Use your imagination during stressful situations to see the event as if it were a comedy or a cartoon. Your boss is yelling, can you see the steam rise out of his collar? Traffic is bad, you can imagine you are riding in the Clampett’s old truck.

Post a reason you have laughed lately. Share with me please, more reasons to laugh. Perhaps it is time for a hypnotic audio on laughter. I better go get started!

The arrival of spring brings thoughts of new beginnings and new possibilities. We tend to spring clean our homes, cleaning out the dirt, the cobwebs that have collected through out the dark winter in our homes. Spring cleaning can happen in our minds as well. When you eliminate the clutter that surrounds you, your body and your head often begin to release as well. (How cool is that right before swimsuit season?)

It is so freeing when you release old negative self talk, the tapes we play over and over of all the reasons we are stuck in a rut. What if we destroyed those old tapes, that old stinking thinking? Imagine finding evidence of ways we are worthy of happiness?

I just had a marvelous young woman in my office, I will call her Eve for this purpose. Eve told me how her boss will bring attention to her accomplishments during meetings, in a positive way, yet, still she hates it. She said her boss celebrates her and she wants to crawl into a hole. Further discussion revealed that the boss was sincere.

Apparently, Eve was never celebrated as a child. In fact, quite the opposite. So, this new feeling was uncomfortable. She did eventually recall one time in her life when her family did celebrate a very real accomplishment. “It felt so good to be heard and seen”, Eve said. We began to look for evidence in her life of times she was heard and seen. Each time she found any, Eve imagined a celebration, feeling those same good feelings from the initial event we discussed. The next step for Eve was to begin a daily journal of moments that she felt she was heard and seen. No matter how small the event, it was a compilation of evidence that she can and will be seen, heard and celebrated.

Perhaps you can find a thought or belief that has been cluttering your mind and holding you back. Begin to search your memory for a time that proved otherwise. Find a second and finally a third piece of evidence. Take a moment to relive those times and create the same sense of good feelings that you felt originally. Each day continue to write these moments down to create your evidence journal. Spend five minutes a day imagining a new thought and allow the clutter to be cleaned out of your mind.

As a post script to Eve, she called to let me know that her boss again mentioned her during a staff meeting. This time she smiled, beamed is what she actually said she did!

May you be blessed in this time of new beginnings and rebirth.

May you experience a miracle in your life every day.

Peace, Love and Joy to all.

Sorry about the title. I had to start out with that apology, because even I feel guilty about posting something so silly. However, it is Friday and time for my silliness to shine through.

During the past week, I have been so very busy with the launch of my Living the Lucky Life CD and my office visits that I have been remiss on blogging. I admit I have been inconsistent. However, the good news is, I have been very lucky! I listen to my audio each day to be sure I still want it out there and amazing things have fallen into my lap! (Besides the cat, who really just jumps into it. – again, slipping into silly.)

I have had unexpected occurrences everyday. From 4 free tickets to a special event (my friend Claire calls me the Queen of free tickets) to connections with people out of my past, incredible opportunities opening up for me career wise. Right now, however, I am off to a local resort, Innisbrook, for some quiet time poolside to read and renew. (Now that’s lucky!)

Let me leave you with this moment of silliness: (read through and then try this with your eyes closed)

Take a moment to breathe deeply, really feeling the breath entering your lungs, filling them completely and then being released. As you release, allow yourself to relax and let go of any worries of the day. Picture and imagine that you are in a safe comfortable theater. The chairs are plush and you sink deeply into them. Begin to notice how your whole body seems to be slowing down, your heartbeat is gentle, safe and resting…….

In this theater is a huge screen, covered in the thickest of curtains. Slowly, the curtain draws back and appearing on the screen is a bright, colorful cartoon. This cartoon is filled with events that make you giggle, such as pie throwing or silly jokes. The thing you notice about the characters in this cartoon, however, is that you are the one telling jokes or throwing pies. The recipient is a compilation of all the negative events that have occurred during this past week.
I wonder if you can allow yourself to release and let go, so well, that you begin to giggle? I wonder if you can really start to laugh? Imagine if you could fill your body with good, fun, feelings? Allowing laughter to be your medicine, you enjoy a moment of respit, knowing that you can carry your secret weapon (humor) with you into the weekend and every day forward.

As you open your eyes, feel the power of humor and the great release of endorphins rushing through your body.

Happy Friday Friends!

What if I told you that you could be lucky, starting today? Luck is not just the whimsy of fate, but rather, it is a formula. It has been said that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. So, imagine being prepared and ready when happenstance occurs and turning mere chance into huge successes.

Lucky people generate their own good fortune. They use four basic principles. The first is getting rid of that stinking thinking. When you view at a circumstance, trying to understand the lesson or at the very least how this experience will be helpful to you, there is no failure, only success. How often do you hear about the person who is held up by circumstance, only to miss an accident by mere moments.

The second principle relates to trusting your intuition, recognizing opportunity knocking. Lowell W. “Bud” Paxson is a great example of this. He is one of the founders of the Home Shopping Network. He was running a radio station in Clearwater, FL. One of his advertisers had product to sell, but no money left for advertising. The radio station was in trouble. So, Bud told the DJ to sell the product on the air. It sold out! The rest is history as they say, Bud Paxon is a wealthy media executive now and the home shopping industry produces a $2 billion dollar plus annual revenue.

The third principle is simply expecting good things to happen! If you are on the look out for the good, you will be more apt to notice it. Have you ever heard a winning team say, we expected to lose? No, they go out and play as if they are going to win, regardless of the odds or hype around them. I believe that Tiger Woods expects to win every time he picks up the club!

The fourth principle is resiliency. That’s right, transform the negative into a positive. Have you seen the Nike commercial where Michale Jordon states, ” I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot – and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Lucky people adopt that winning attitude.

Well, your luck is about to change for the better. Today, in honor of St. Patty’s I am launching my new hypnosis program, Living The Lucky Life. There are two great tracks on the CD, filled with information and a hypnotic opportunity for you. Even luckier, I am reducing the price for one week only. So go to my website and check out this Lucky deal today!

Ellie is a prolific writer on the subject of hypnosis. I enjoy her blog so very much. So, when she approached me about the 10 Questions, I was quick to respond yes.

Now she has taken the compliment one step further and asked me to be a guest blogger on The Sunday’s Question.

What’s next? We’re thinking about a game of trading spaces, we’ll let you know more soon!

Enough serious chat for the week. It’s Friday and I am in a great mood. I have had a busy and productive week.

My oldest son has been home visiting from college, Spring Break! The best part of Spring Break, is that we live in the land of Spring Breakers, sunny Florida. So, the kids are all here having fun and I know they are safe. It helps that my son is a Math Major (as well as Chemistry and a Physics minor, but I digress) because Spring Break coincided with National Pi Week. Pi, my favorite number and my favorite dessert.

We have tried to have a pi amount of pies! Only a byte of each however…..

OK, enough silliness here, time to return to silliness with the house full of kids. Let me leave you with this self-hypnosis thought:

After you read this through, close your eyes and imagine what I have written.

Taking a deep breathe, eyes closed. Allow your body to relax, the way you relax when on a warm, sunny beach. You can feel the warm sun upon your face and the gentle breezes blowing on your skin. It feels perfect. The waves are gently rolling up onto the shore and back out again. Up and out again. Perhaps you hear the birds soaring above, singing the songs of freedom. Perhaps it is simply the quiet gentle sounds of the waves and peace of knowing that you are alone on this beach, with your thoughts. Smell the sea air and allow yourself to relax into this wonderful, safe moment. Perhaps your mind will wander back to a time you spent by the shore that was fun, safe and happy. Perhaps it will create a new memory of such an event.

However your mind chooses to work, just allow this moment to be safe, calm and serene. Take this moment to create the perfect vacation for you. A momentary escape from all the expectations in your life, beginning your weekend in a wonderful, relaxed way. As you open your eyes, breathe in the moment and feel the freedom you have created in your life to enjoy the moment.

Happy Friday friends!

The Law Of Attraction states that what you focus on, you create. Well, interestingly, I am finding evidence of that this past week. Writing about rapport over the past couple of days, has made me so very aware of observing others and their interactions. I find that I am observing people in traffic, watching how they relate to their passengers in the vehicle with them. I am watching store clerks interact with customers and the wait staff in restaurants.

Last night I went to an event at the Tampa Bay Technology Forum. Prior to the speaker, there was a time to network. I approached a woman and introduced myself. She responded with a huge smile and our conversation took off. I used my practiced skill of listening. Listening, another vital part of developing rapport. I now know her whole life story. I guess you could say I established rapport.

The reason I tell this however, is not to brag about what I did. Rather, it is an observation I made during our lengthy conversation. The woman is in sales. She is bright, well educated and clearly has a passion for her product. However, she unloaded her entire pitch on me with force. She spoke so continuously that there were no breathes taken. She put her card in my hand and never asked for my information.

She was over whelming. There was no give and take, no pacing, no mirroring of my stance, breathing or any physiological signs. I changed stance, shifted, slowed down and even looked away. She was so on fire, she never noticed.

She has no way to follow up on our conversation now, as she neglected to find out how to contact me. Further more, the whole sales pitch was done without qualifying if I am in fact a good prospect.

I know of another individual who is in sales, recently changed from a phone room to a show room. He has brought his high pressure energy to an industry that is slower paced. Where he works now, you want to “court” the customer. The sales are in the millions of dollars, so it is best to allow the customer to decide there is trust in this particular deal. He presses flesh and expects a sale within an hour. Needless to say, he has not closed a single deal in the over 6 months he has been in his position and in fact has scared away prospective buyers.

Take some time to notice how well you listen. It amazes me how many times people think they know everything about me, because they have told me their life story. If pressed, they couldn’t tell you much about me, but they truly believe they know me well. Why? Because I have listened to them. Funny thing is, the more I listen, the more I learn. Listening allows me to enjoy people so much more, because many times their story really is interesting.

Yesterday I wrote about the NLP concepts of mirroring and pacing. Both are important skills to learn and make use of. After an interesting exchange I had another thought, something more I wanted to add. The tone of your voice is also vital to how well your message is understood and how well you are received. You may be saying all the right words, in all the wrong ways.

In our house, we play a game of Dude. How many ways can the word “dude” be said to communicate a whole new meaning? There is the simple “dude”, then there is “DUDE!” or else “Duuuuude” and so forth. Imagine a parent walking into your bedroom and saying, “look at your room”. That can be a pleasant voice, filled with delight at a cleaning job well done. It can also be an angry statement about a job still not done. It can be a mention of the new furnishings. It all has to do with the tone.

So, take a moment and practice some familiar phrases in front of the mirror. Use different tones and inflections and listen to the differences you are trying to communicate. Keep this in mind next time you are in a conversation where you feel misunderstood. Did your voice speak your true meaning? Were you smiling in your voice as well the smile on your face or were you sending mixed signals. Be clear in your intent, then use your words and your tone as tools for communication.

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