DebbieDona

Technology Addiction Can Be Helped

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When we think of addiction, we tend to think of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and gambling. We may even think about food as an addiction. There is a new threat to our health and well-being and it is very addictive, it is called technology addiction. It has not as of this writing been recognized as an official disorder, but the recommendations are there and it is (in my opinion) just a matter of time.  According to Dr. Andrew Doan of the U.S. Naval Substance Abuse and Recovery Program in San Diego, “There is no other drug of choice that you can get for the cost of an Internet connection or for free at a WiFi hotspot that’s as addicting as a painkiller.”

Go to any local hang out and notice how people are texting, posting, tweeting, pinning, snapping and any number of other internet interactions, while ignoring the real humans around them.  Social media is only part of the issue. We can stream movies, shop, play games, gamble, find love and even watch porn anywhere we happen to be.  China has taken the step of declaring technology addiction (or more specifically internet addiction) as a top public health threat.  They have rehab centers for addicted teens, the problem is oversight is lacking and some of the methods used are potentially more dangerous than the addiction itself.

There are couples who have said that their relationship broke down one click at a time. It became easier to get lost in the webs than dealing with the issues right in front of them. Becoming absorbed in sports, soaps, reality T.V. or any television programming can also be the escape route from dealing with the real world. I have written before about my concerns with what social media does to our self esteem.  We have a variety of blue boxes and screens that occupy our time, it is important to know where and when to draw the line.

Everyone’s internet use is different. It is possible that you might need to use the internet extensively for your work. Or maybe you rely heavily on social networking sites to keep in touch with faraway family and friends. Spending a lot of time online only becomes a problem when it absorbs too much of your time, causing you to neglect your relationships, your work, school, health and safety. If you keep repeating any compulsive behavior despite the negative consequences in your life, then it’s time to strike a new balance.

Technology Addiction Interferes With Real Living

When these activities begin to interfere with our jobs, our health and our safety we want to stop and consider what we are doing to ourselves. Having sleep issues? Many of my clients who have insomnia will sneak out of the bedroom when they awaken in the middle of the night to check emails. The blue screen will entrap them and take away any hope of returning to a good night’s sleep.

Personally I find the driving while texting to be a huge concern. I can’t even guess the number of times I have watched what I thought was a drunk driver only to pull up at the next light and realize they were in fact a texting driver. It is a bit worrisome when a hair stylist is constantly checking their phones; after all, they hold scissors right at our heads!

If you are noticing that you are avoiding the world and hiding behind a screen, take action. Set time limits for recreational use and stick to those limits. (I am in favor of timers that go off and remind us it is time to walk away.) Get physical so as to get those feel good hormones released into your body. The high of addiction causes those same hormones to be released, so change how it happens. Practice turning everything off during meals, take time to enjoy the meal and anyone you might be sharing it with. Parents need to follow these guidelines when wanting to set limits for their kids. After all, kids learn by observing adults in action.

If the temptation is stronger than your ability to find other activities and you find yourself drawn back to technology, hypnosis can help.  Hypnotherapy can be extremely effective when used to treat addictions and can either be used alone or in conjunction with traditional medical care as part of a treatment plan. After discussing the concerns  with a client we can decide the best combination of hypnotic methods to use in order to assist that individual achieving the goal of rejoining humanity once again.

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Are You Ready For Shark Week?

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It’s Shark Week! Discovery Channel is hosting the annual week of (mis)information about sharks. Don’t get me wrong, there is legitimate information shared, but unfortunately there is also a lot of myth that is shared. This disappoints marine biologists like Ellen Prager. To quote an article posted on npr.org, “Ellen Prager, a marine scientist who has taught at the University of Miami and writes books for children about sharks, says she and her colleagues have a list of things that drive them crazy about Shark Week, such as the emphasis on sharks attacking people and feeding frenzies.”

I too, have a concern. While I am not a shark expert and I do have a healthy respect for sharks, I am of the opinion that the media will forgo fact for the sake of ratings on many occasions. This feeds into fears and phobias. Recent media reports of shark attacks along the coast of North Carolina and Florida have everyone believing that we are in danger practically as we park in the beach parking lots.

About a year ago I was walking along the causeway with a friend when we looked down from a bridge into the waters below. There were sharks swimming around and fishermen on shore trying to catch them. I found this fascinating. My friend couldn’t get away fast enough. Even from this safe distance, she was afraid. Now, unless you believe the ridiculousness of the Sharknado movies, it’s obvious that the sharks were not going to rise up out of the waters, fly above a bridge and bite us. That did not make her reaction any less real to her. The sight of those creatures started her pulse racing more than the fast pace of our walk ever did.

I understand completely how that feels. In the past I had a phobic reaction to snakes as a result of an unfortunate encounter I had with a rattle snake while on a school camping trip. I held onto the sensations and fears for almost 20 years. It wasn’t until I realized how that phobia was holding me back that I was even willing to address it. I offered to help my friend with her shark phobia, but for now, she is not ready to release it.

The problem with holding on to fears that are not rational is that it can lead us to make decisions that are bad for us. For example, a fear of flying can greatly affect a person’s ability to perform their job if air travel is required, the same with fear of driving. I have worked with people who feared public speaking. Imagine that fear being so great that a simple elevator speech in a networking group becomes too much? I had a client who was so phobic about elevators he had to turn down a promotion because it meant he would have to climb 15 flights of stairs. After our working together, he was able to not only take the elevator, he could take the promotion!

If you watch Shark Week…

If you watch Shark Week and all the hype, enjoy. Remember to check facts, to keep aware of the difference between reality and fiction. If there is anything that seems to cause an intense reaction in you, breathe deeply though it. Should you have any phobias that are holding you back, now might be the time to eliminate those sharks from the murky waters of your deeper mind and begin to live freely again.

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Fourth Of July Freedom!

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fourth of julyThe Fourth of July is almost here and recipes for everything barbecue and decadent are all over the media. Fourth of July parties are being planned. The fireworks are set for display. In fact, one town near me has already had their fireworks show, so that locals could get in as many shows as possible. I love the anticipation, the joy and the excitement this all brings. More important though is what all of this symbolizes. We are celebrating freedom. The freedom of our country yes, but I believe it is a deeper freedom we want to celebrate.

We are born with a psychological freedom, by that I mean a detachment from labels, styles, failures, possessions, occupations and more. We arrive in this world naked and pure. As we grow, one by one the layers are placed upon us. We learn to “fit in”. We are given labels and uniforms. The purity turns to judgement, the harshest is what we heap on ourselves. We begin to find more and more reasons we don’t measure up, which means we have to work harder at obtaining labels that we believe will free us.

My clients come from all walks of life. Some are wealthier than others, some are more classically beautiful and some are more social. The one thing all of them have in common is that they see themselves as “broken” in some way. Eventually, freedom has been reduced to an impossible label of perfection. If they could only lose more weight, speak more clearly, be a better athlete, then they will be free to be themselves.

I will ask my clients, if you were to have already accomplished your goal, how would you be different? Some will say they will feel better about themselves, others tell me how they will be happier, less fearful or any variety of feelings that freedom brings. I will ask them to imagine how that feels. How it might look if they were free. I want to know what their inner dialogue might sound like if they were free.

Next we take the abstract concept of personal freedom and transform it into something more concrete. I have had clients identify the negative sensations as shapes, colors, textures and even scents. We find where it resides in the body and I will ask them if they can hand what they have just identified over to me. From there, we may shrink it, move it, shred it or even flush it in the commode!

Once the old concept is gone, it is time to fill the space it occupied with the sense of having achieved the goal. Filling themselves with freedom is a lighter and happier experience.  We naturally move away from pain towards pleasure. This makes the process of filling the empty space with goodness a natural one. As we practice those feel good moments, they become more and more comfortable and natural to us.

The Fourth of July And Your Freedom

Maybe it is time for you to experience freedom.

You can choose from the list below and declare on this Fourth Of July that you are now free.

I am FREE from:

  • my ego
  • the blame game
  •  depression
  • shame
  • pride
  • ego based anger
  • having to justify myself
  • the fear of self-ridicule
  • self-doubt
  •  self-damning
  • manipulation of my ego
  • the game of pride or shame
  • the lies of self-esteem
  • the pressure to be something
  • the pressures to become something
  • ego based anxiety
  • having to prove myself

Enjoy your barbecues, parties and celebrations. When you watch the fireworks this year, celebrate true freedom, personal freedom not only this Fourth of July but everyday beyond!

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Let It Go!

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June 23 is Let It Go Day. If you find yourself too busy for fun and the things that really matter to you then maybe there are some time or joy robbers you need to let go.

Let It Go: Clutter

Yes, I know I have said it before, I just can’t repeat it enough. When it comes to clutter, let it go!

Let It Go: Phone Calls

Do not answer calls from unrecognized phone numbers, if it is important there will be a message. Just because a phone rings you are not obligated to answer, especially when it might be a sales call.

Let It Go: Email

Stop checking e-mail constantly, “batch” and check at set times only. Take yourself off of any list that you truly don’t love to read.

Let It Go: Worry

If you waste time worrying about the future, you lose the value of now. Instead, write down what you are concerned about and give yourself permission to come back to it at a later set time. Often you will find things have a way of working themselves out regardless of your fears.

Let It Go: Anger

I think the Buddha summed it up well: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Let It Go: Not Saying No

Taking on too much puts pressure on you and prevents you from living at your best. Not being at your best and most effective means everything takes longer and more of your time is stolen from you. Teach others to value your time by example.

 

Whatever it is that’s been grabbing your gut, your time or your psyche, let it go!

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Water: The Natural Metabolism Booster

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water for weight managementHave you been told over and over again when dieting to drink more water? It is often repeated advice, but why? Is there any science behind this or is it one of those often repeated tips based on legend? Even worse could it be an evil plot to sell more toilet paper? I wanted to know and so I checked around. I am happy to report that drinking water is helpful in weight management, in fact, it is a metabolism booster.

According to researchers at the University of Utah, who monitored the metabolic rates of 10 adults as they drank varying amounts of water per day, all of your body’s chemical reactions, including your metabolism, depend on water.  The results of the study found that those who drank either eight or twelve 8-ounce glasses of water a day had higher metabolic rates than those who had four. When you are dehydrated, you may be burning up to 2 percent fewer calories.

Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found that drinking water (about 17oz) increases metabolic rate by 30 percent in healthy men and women. The boost occurred within 10 minutes but reached a maximum 30-40 minutes after drinking.  Over a year, drinking an extra 1.5 liters a day burns around 17,400 calories. That adds up to about five pounds a year shed. Studies have also suggested that drinking one or two glasses of water before a meal can fill you up so you naturally eat less, thus fewer calories consumed.

Now you can take this water drinking a step further by adding one of the following three things to your water.

Metabolism Booster #1: Citrus Fruit

Adding citrus fruit to your water can speed up the fat burning process and help you feel more energized. Lemons and oranges in particular are a great source of Vitamin C and assist in fat burning.  This is because the metabolic process of transporting fatty acids within the cell and mobilizing them to be used as energy requires vitamin C as a co-factor. That means that loading up on vitamin C can naturally increase fat burning. Add 3 – 4 slices of lemon or orange to your water  to get that boost of vitamin C and help use fat as energy.

Metabolism Booster #2: Cucumbers

Flush out your system and your metabolism by drinking glasses of cucumber water. The natural diuretic effects of this vegetable containing potassium and vitamins A and C, flushes out toxins and revs up your metabolism. Add 6 – 8 slices of cucumber to a pitcher of water and refill your glass for a cool, refreshing drink!

Metabolism Booster # 4: Cayenne Pepper

While spicy water may not sound tasty, give it a chance. Research suggests that the capsaicin found in cayenne pepper can boost your metabolism shortly after ingesting it and may even make you feel fuller. Cayenne on it’s own may not seem appealing, so try mixing a half teaspoon of cayenne pepper with sliced strawberries and blueberries. It is surprisingly sweet, calorie torching and a pick me up with a kick!

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Throw Away Your Head Trash!

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I just had the best yoga class ever! It wasn’t actually the yoga that made it that way, although I do love the practice. It was who was in attendance. There is a gentleman, actually the husband of the instructor, who I have always thought was a fun and kind man. Well, the last time I saw him, he was quite ill. He asked me to help him with hypnosis, which I gladly did. I haven’t seen him since, although his wife kept me updated on his progress.

The hypnosis we did was directed at the stress resulting from his diagnosis and also going through the treatments he had to endure in order to find his way back to recovery. I recorded the sessions and gave him those as well as others I had that were appropriate. His wife said they listened to them daily through the whole process.

I couldn’t help myself, I hugged him hard! He smiled, so did his wife. As I was leaving the class, he stopped me and told me that he uses the advice I gave him every day. I had to ask, what advice? He said that he does a daily purge of his head trash. He imagines a trash can that he fills up with the stuff that has been rolling around in his thoughts and then dumps it in an incinerator to be burned and left as ashes.

Head Trash

I did tell him to do that, I often suggest that to my clients. It just hit home when he said it, how important a practice that is. The stuff that rolls around in our heads can interfere with our peace, especially when facing something that seems to be larger than we are, that is head trash. It humbled me that here was this person who had just faced a huge personal challenge saying that my suggestion was making a difference in how he was living. It made me realize how important our words and actions are. If I speak it, I want to be sure and live it.

There are challenges in all our lives. I do my best to keep mine under control, but truth be told, I am human. I have moments of feeling frail. This wonderful man just reminded me to throw that stuff away! I also have found that for me, when it seems like my head trash is getting too full, it is time for me to look around at how I can help someone else. Whether it is through organized volunteerism or just doing a favor for a friend. If my focus becomes how to help facilitate a change for another, change happens in me.

I recently met with a client who has been in the helping profession. She left her job for health reasons and instead of feeling better, like she thought she would, she found herself experiencing the blues. Furthermore, because she was blue, her eating was bad. She was eating carbs and sugars and had put about 20 pounds on. She had stopped going to the gym as well.

The first thing we did was to put all the head trash into one of those trash bins. Every “I can’t” got thrown away. Next, we threw out the excuses she had created.  We threw away her attachments to past hurts and slights. I could sense her relief at being done with all of that. But what to do with all that empty space? We decided to fill it with her favorite color light and allow that light to shine on all of her good qualities; her caring, her determination and her competence for starters. She has reported back to me that she is now throwing away stuff in her home as well as in her mind and she feels so much better!

Imagine your trash can, what would you put into it? What are you ready to be done with? Are you filled with “I cant’s” or excuses? Maybe it isn’t even your own stuff to hold on to? Are you carrying around other people’s stuff, such as gossip, jealousy or pettiness?  If it is holding you back or weighing you down, this may be the time to consider throwing it away.

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An oldie, but a goodie! A song of gratitude

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At the end of my yoga class today this song played. It reminded me of this video that I had put together six years ago. I still feel the same about my life and gratitude, so I thought it might be fun to post again!

 

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Water, The Perfect Accessory

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water for weight managementIncredible as it may seem, water is quite possibly the single most important catalyst in shedding weight and keeping it off. Although most of us take it for granted, water may be the only true “magic potion” for permanent weight loss. (Oh, I hate that word loss, but here it is valid.)

Water helps to suppress appetite naturally and helps the body to metabolize stored fat.  Studies have shown that a decrease in water intake will cause fat deposits to increase, while an increase of water can actually reduce fat deposits.

Here is why: The kidneys can’t function properly without enough water. When they don’t work to full capacity, some of their load is dumped onto the liver. One of the liver’s primary functions is to metabolize stored fat into usable energy for the body. But, if the liver has to do some of the kidney’s work , it can’t operate full throttle. As a result, it metabolizes less fat, remains stored in the body and shedding weight stops.

Drinking enough water is the best treatment for fluid retention. When the body gets less water, it perceives this as a threat to a survival and begins to hold on to every drop. Water is stored in extra cellular spaces (outside cells). This shows up as swollen feet, legs and hands.

Diuretics offer a temporary solution at best. They force stored water along with some essential nutrients. Again, the body perceives a threat and will replace the lost water at the first opportunity. Thus, the condition quickly returns. The best way to overcome the problem is to give your body what it needs-plenty of water. Only then will the stored water be released.

The overweight person needs more water than the thin one. Larger people have larger metabolic loads. Since we know that water is the key to fat metabolism, it follows that the overweight person needs more water.

Water helps to maintain proper muscle tone by giving muscles their natural ability to contract and by preventing dehydration. It also helps prevent the sagging skin that usually follows dropping weight – shrinking cells are buoyed by water, which plumps the skin and leaves it clear, healthy and resilient. Water helps rid the body waste. During weight loss, the body has a lot more waste to get rid of – all that metabolized fat must be shed. Again, adequate water helps flush out the waste. Water can help relieve constipation. When the body gets too little water, it siphons what it needs from internal sources. The colon is one primary source. Result? Constipation. But, when a person drinks enough water, normal bowel function usually returns.

So far, we’ve discovered some remarkable truths about water and weight management:

  • The body will not function properly without enough water and can’t metabolize stored fat efficiently.
  • Retained water shows up as excess water.
  • To get rid of excess water, you must drink more water.
  • Drinking water is essential to managing weight.

How much water is enough? On the average, a person should drink eight 8-ounce glasses every day. That is about 2 quarts. However, the overweight person needs one additional glass to every 25 pounds of excess weight. The amount you drink should also be increased if you exercise briskly or if the day is hot and dry.

Water should be preferable cold – it’s absorbed into the system more quickly than warm water. Some evidence suggests that drinking cold water can actually help burn calories.

When the body gets the water it needs to function optimally, its fluids are perfectly balanced. When this happens, you have reached the “breakthrough point”.  What does this mean?

  • Endocrine gland function improves
  • Fluid retention is alleviated as stored water is lost
  • More fat is used as fuel because the liver is free to metabolize stored fat
  • Natural thirst returns
  • There is a loss of hunger almost overnight

If you stop drinking enough water, your body fluids will be thrown out of balance again, you may experience fluid retention, unexplained weight gain and loss of thirst. To remedy the situation you’ll have to go back and force another “breakthrough point”.

this article is not my original work, I found it years ago and have given it out to my clients. If you are (or know) the author, please let me know so that I can site it properly.

Another article on water and weight is here: The Best Way To Lose Weight

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What Does Hypnosis Feel Like?

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How Do I Know If I Am Under?

In my email recently was a note from an individual who wanted to know more about hypnosis and whether it could help them pass a test. It seems they have tried several free audios online and didn’t feel secure that it was working. There is an upcoming test of great importance to this individual and a recent test during which he froze up and couldn’t answer even the easy questions. Now studying had become a challenge as thoughts raced and fear began to take over.

This letter struck a chord with me; I have allowed fear to rule in my past. Fear stinks. When it interferes with our ability to move forward, it really stinks. Thoughts begin to race and it seems like words begin to blur on the page. Then a repetitive pattern of the “I can’t’s” seems to take up residence in our thoughts. This can become a spiral down the rabbit hole.

Hypnosis can and does help with test anxiety; I have assisted many with that issue. In fact, I went in to a local college math class and worked with the whole group prior to the final exams and the teacher informed me the class as a whole saw improved test scores.  The reason I bring up the group is significant to the individual who wrote me, as his initial question was how he would know the hypnosis was working. He has tried audios and couldn’t tell if he was under or if there was any effect. He wondered how does hypnosis feel? He was expecting to sleep or at least feel something. This wide group of students had a variety of responses to trance, some felt like they were daydreaming, some felt like they had napped before the test and others figured it was just a chance to use their imagination, still all benefited and it showed in the grades.

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No Vacancy, No Room For Emotional Eating

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I just had a great conversation with a weight management client, for this purpose I will call her Beverly (not her real name). Beverly was concerned that she might start emotional or stress eating again because of a situation that is ongoing in her life. She was pleased that so far the emotional eating hasn’t begun, but she wanted to be sure it didn’t. So we talked about the situation and what she could realistically do about it.
First of all, Beverly realized that she cannot control the other person (I shall call Judy) involved or Judy’s actions. The only person she can control is herself. If she begins to eat for emotional reasons, then Beverly has lost control of the only person whom she can regulate. The tricky part then is to not allow Judy to have so much power over her. Judy isn’t in Beverly’s life on a consistent basis, hasn’t been for years. The issue goes back several years and while the Judy may not have done the right thing by Beverly, nothing can change the past. Beverly admitted that she has thought angry, jealous and hurtful thoughts about Judy for years. Meanwhile, Judy has continued to live her life as if nothing ever happened.
How often do we all do that, hold onto hurt or resentments that cause us to lose out on the rest and best of life? I have certainly been guilty of that. Because I hadn’t gotten my perception of justice, I was still feeling the imbalance of the scales and holding onto my pain. Then, it occurred to me that I was suffering by my own thoughts way more than anyone else had ever inflicted pain on me! Doing the math is what made it obvious to me. I mentioned this in my post, I’m Not Gollum, “If you break things down into numbers and percentages though, how much of your total day did you deal with that one incident?”
When we hold onto pain, it is natural to want to self-medicate. Some people do that with alcohol, some with drugs or shopping and in the case of my weight clients, it is often food. Food becomes the drug of choice, although not a very effective one. In fact, the pain still resides inside their head, and now they have added guilt and remorse and other unhealthy side effects.
I suggested to Beverly that she begin to take back her thoughts. When she noticed herself going in that direction, clap out loud and say STOP! She could get up and sing a song or she could go for a quick brisk walk. The idea is to interrupt those thoughts, suddenly and then redirect her attention to something that will benefit her. I have had many clients buy helium filled balloons. Then write what it is they need to let go of on the balloons and release them by the water. This is a great visual ritual that allows you to see your issues leave.
In trance we do the release of the balloons as well as the prisoners (those who offended us). Then we can create a shield of light that is filled with love to surround us. The subconscious mind is then given permission to find healthier ways of dealing with the pain and the stress. For each person it may be a different activity, that powerful subconscious knows what is perfect.
So, if you find yourself stress eating or eating for emotional reasons, maybe you want to consider releasing your “prisoners” and old negative thoughts. Maybe it is time to evict those hurtful folks and put a no vacancy sign up instead!

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