DebbieDona

Children in bee and ladybug costumes smiling.

Halloween Costumes Interpreted

Written by: Debbie

Halloween can be such a fun holiday for children and adults alike. The decorations, costumes, parties and trick or treating all add up to creating a festive mood. Creativity soars as we look to create fun decorations, carve interestingjack o’ lanterns and inspired costumes. A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows.

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows.

Halloween in recent history was thought of asprimarilychildren dressing up to go trick or treating. Today more money is spent on adult costumes than children’s costumes – nearly 1.25 billion dollars. Plus another $330 million will be spent on pet costumes.

Halloween costumes can allow us to dress up and try on an alter ego. Costumes are a way to explore who you aren’t. For example, it’s unlikely a nurse will dress up as a sexy nurse – or any other type of nurse for that matter. But she might choose a sexy waitress and the waitress might choose the nurse or another profession.

Here is a quick review of how some Halloween costumes might be interpreted:

Disney Princess
If you are going as Elsa, Cinderella, Snow White or another Disneyprincess,it is likelyyou are sentimental and romantic.Cinderellawas your favorite movie when you were 12 and you know all the words to “Let it Go.” Wearingthe dress of your favorite princess reminds you of your childhood when life was simple, anything was possible, and every little girl was royalty.

Fantasy Characters
Stepping out as Obi-Wan Kenobe, Gandalfor Arya Stark? If dressing up as your favorite fantasy or sci-fi character is your top costume choice for Halloween, perhaps youenjoy the escapismof these fantasy worlds. Thisis your chance to step into the shoes of your favorite character and playfor a night in a fantasy world.

Historical Figures
Going as Amelia Earhart, Abraham Lincoln, or Cleopatra might indicate that you are a bit of a realist or that you have a strong connection to a particular period in history. Although such representations are often romanticized notions about particular eras, the figures are usually legendary people who have left a powerful mark on history. Steppingout in the characterof such a figurecouldindicate a need to be larger than life, powerful, and celebrated.

Horror Creatures
Zombies, vampires, monsters, witches, and frightening ghouls are perhaps the figures we most often associate with Halloween. By wearing thesecostumes, you might be exploring your darkerside. It does help to minimize the power of that which frightens us. For example, people fear death, so dressing as the Grim Reaper helps us to make light of that fear. Macabre and grotesque both terrifies and fascinates us.

Last-Minute DIY Costumes
You waited until the night of the party and wrap yourself inan old sheet and grab a wreath for your head. You aremost likelyno stranger to procrastination, in fact, it is likely you putoff things in your everyday life as well. It couldsimply mean that you are too busy doing other things to give serious thought to a once-a-year event. Either way, you probably don’t think too much about your costume, or really care what other people think about it either.

Superheroes
If you’redressing as your favorite superhero, whether it is Iron Man, Wonder Woman, or Captain America, you might be trying to get in touch with your own inner hero. It is a common fantasy to daydream about beingthe hero or saving the day. Superhero costumes help feedinto this fantasy. It is also possiblewearingsuch costumesmight be an attempt to overcome underlying feelings of inadequacy or weakness.

Sexy Costumes
Wearing a sexy or revealing costume might mean that you’re an exhibitionist and that you want to be noticed orconverselyit is possible that you are very conservative in your normal daily routine and this allows you to explore an alter ego normally kept hidden.

Costumes are communication devices

They say something about yourself to others and are meant to elicit a response. They reveal a bit about our inner fantasy life and are meant to elicit a response. Normally one doesn’t put on a costume to sit home alone. Costumes are vehicles of social connection. So, be creative, have fun and send the message that you want others to get!

Exercise For The Lazy

Written by: Debbie

I love my daily walks, several of them with my dogs. I am getting lots of miles covered, according to my Fitbit, I am well above average when it comes to the steps I take. However, just like my clients, I know I need to do more. Yoga is one form of exercise I love, bike riding, even working with light weights. A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows.

Over the summer though, it gets hot and humid. Really hot and really humid. So, I don’t enjoy the walks as much, I set a goal of daily yoga and I plan on bike riding. Then life gets in the way and after all, it is hot and humid. So, exercise can get forgotten. That is until my waistline screams at me because clothes aren’t meant to stretch that much.

Lazy Labels Are No Good, So exercise Caution!

Then, like everyone else, I need to get myself motivated again. It is then that I have to dig deep, beyond the instant gratification of getting inside to the air conditioning and instead, move it! I want to do things that will help me enjoy exercise, playful movements. I also want to remember that that labeling myself as lazy isn’t helpful.

It is important that I think of myself as someone who exercises or someone who is healthy. I choose an exercise-friendly identity that I want to adopt. You see, the human psyche goes to great lengths to be consistent with one’s identity. The subconscious mind is very willing toaccommodatethe belief that I am lazy.

I hear from clients all the time that they believe they are lazy because they haven’t included working out into their routine. However, when they tell me all they do, I know it can’t be true. Sometimes it is just a matter of revamping their daily routine to include exercise, sometimes it is getting a workout buddy so that there is not onlyaccountabilitybut company!

So thinking of yourself as a harried, stressed-out person creates a self-fulfilling prophecy with little room for exercise. But thinking of yourself as a really busy healthy person might create just the tweak your mindset needs. I use self-hypnosisto help me get motivated for exercise and get myself back on track. How about you?

Glass ashtray with cigarette butts and ashes.

Smoke Cessation Questions

Written by: Debbie

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows. So many times when I answer the phone, the caller on the other end (often a smoker) doesn’t wait for me to say much of anything as they dive into, “I need to make an appointment for smoke cessation, but first I have a few questions. How does hypnosis work, what is your success rate for smoke cessation and what if I can’t be hypnotized?” I have to take a breath and begin with one question at a time.

How does this hypnosis work?

I explain that hypnosis is safe, non-invasive and a natural occurrence. Awareness of a problem is the first step, desire to change is the second. Next comes taking action. By calling me, the future nonsmoker has begun to take action. The subconscious mind is receptive for any ideas we want to embrace.

If your first associations with smoking were positive (status among peers, a sense of maturity, an opportunity to step away from a stressful situation) then that is what the subconscious mind has connected with smoking, regardless of the threat of illness. It is our goal to uncover those early associations along with smoking triggers. Triggers are related to the habit of smoking. They can be things such as finishing a meal, having a cup of coffee or tea, driving, talking on the phone, etcetera. Then we rewire our habits and associations. No longer is smoking cool, smokers are not banished to the outside for their habit. We find alternative behaviors for the former smoke breaks. We work on breathing exercises, stress management and even address eating and exercise. All of this together makes for a smoke free, more confident and authentic you.

What is your success rate?

While I can tell you that I give it my all and most of my clients leave nonsmokers, I would be very creative to give you an actual percentage rate. I know about the success stories when they write me six months or even several years down the road to say they are still smoke free. But, if someone falls off the wagon and is too embarrassed to admit it, I might never know. There are those in my field who claim 95% success (or something similar), I cry foul!

It is important to remember that tobacco has had a brilliant marketing campaign for years. During the second World War our brave soldiers were given cigarettes by the government! Many veterans have told me they began smoking during basic training, because, smokers got a break and nonsmokers had to remain in formation at attention. Smoking was a fashion statement, a rite of passage and a reward. It became a way of life for many, even a part of a smoker’s identity.

So, while I love seeing my client leave the office smoke free, I never judge if they pick up the habit during a stressful time. What I ask is that they let me know right away. It makes it easier to reverse, go back to living smoke free.

What if I can’t be hypnotized?

For many reasons people will believe they cannot be hypnotized. Perhaps they have been told that you must be gullible or artistic or visual. Actually you can be any of those or none. For hypnosis is a natural occurrence. The same brain waves that are experienced (and have been measured) that one experiences during the day, when daydreaming or when falling asleep are the brainwaves measured during hypnosis. If you have a good imagination, if words sting you easily, if you become so involved in a sporting event that you tense and try to assist them with your own body movements while sitting on your couch you are probably a good candidate for hypnosis. You can have any of those qualities or all of them. For more information on hypnosis and a fun little quiz to determine how hypnotizable you are click here: Hypnosis FAQs. For the test scroll down to the bottom of the page.

If you are tired of smelling like an ashtray, coughing and hacking or even just being exiled to the outdoors or being controlled by BIG TOBACCO, maybe you are ready to stop smoking. Call me today for your smoke cessation session and let the smoke clear and give yourself the gift of a healthier, longer and better quality life!

Up Until Now

Written by: Debbie

As a young girl, I was convinced like many of us, that my parents knew everything. It was as simple as black and white, their beliefs became mine. As a teen, of course, that changed as I struggled for autonomy and had a few life experiences under my belt. Still, I believed that I was right; if others disagreed they were mistaken. Everything was open to judgement, religion, politics, books, music and child rearing, even housekeeping!
The story I told was mine and the more I repeated it, the more I became invested in it. Until one day my world changed and my opinions were challenged. You see, I did not believe in divorce. Did not believe it could ever happen in my picture perfect world. I was wrong and everything in my world went topsy turvy. At first, I became the consummate victim, telling my story repeatedly. Once again I became heavily invested in my truth, my new world view.
Neither world view was really suited to me, however. I began a journey of exploration, trying on other’s opinions. This was something I had not done in a long while and certainly not to this degree. What I discovered was that I could change beliefs, modify beliefs and even understand another’s views without fully agreeing on all points. With less judgement of others it became easier to be less critical of myself. I stopped labeling myself as right or wrong (usually wrong).
Many times my clients come in with a story that they have been telling for a long while. They speak of the problem they have, what created it and all the accompanying guilt, shame and fear. Some will try to warn me that I am going to think they are crazy or weird, as if that will soften the blow if I were to say they are beyond help. Others will preach to me about their world views, assuming I agree and it is the rest of the world that is crazy. Still others just dump as much as they can, hoping I will make it all go away.
While it is important to feel heard and I do listen to what someone is sharing with me, there are times when it is just as important to “break state”, that is to interrupt the “trance” of their own story. For example, after someone has told me numerous times how mean their spouse is, I might tell them my pen just ran out of ink and ask them to hand me a pen near them. This allows me to now insert a new direction to lead the session. It is then that I can introduce my three favorite words, “Up until now”.
For example, “Up until now I believed my child was naughty when she threw a temper tantrum. Now I understand she doesn’t have the skills yet to deal with the situation at hand.” From there we can begin to strategize the tools and lessons we want to share with the child. This allows us to transition from a battle (where someone has to lose) to a win for all. Imagine no longer feeling like a failure as a parent or a child! With those magical three words changes to understanding and compassion.

Up until now, I believed I was lazy because I haven’t exercised. Now I know I just needed the socialization of a class to get me motivated.
Up until now, I believed I was stupid because I hated math. Now I know I learn better with math games.
Up until now, I believed I was not likable. Now I realize it was me judging myself harshly.
Up until now, I believed my boyfriend’s family didn’t like me. Now I understand there are cultural differences in how we express ourselves.

Now Create Your Own “Up Until Now”

Up until now, I believed ________________. Now I understand ___________________________.

Quantum Leap or Bunny Hop?

Written by: Debbie

Definition of Quantum when pertaining to physics:

the smallest amount of a physical quantity that can exist independantly, especially a discrete quantity of electromagnetic radiation.

My son and I were laughing together over the use of the word quantum. People regard quantum as the definition of a large quantity, while referring to it in physics. Actually, in physics it is the smallest amount. So we asked, is a quantum leap really a bunny hop?

Either way, the smallest of shifts can make huge change. Think of the difference 1 degree makes in water, from hot to boiling! I had a friend tell me how a 3 foot shift in engineering made the difference whether a highway went through a skyscraper or a right of way that was already in existence. (This created a difference of millions of dollars and months of labor, not to mention relocating many businesses!)

What if you made one small change today? What if you decided that no matter what, you would not allow a complaint to pass your lips for 24 hours? What if you only used words that uplifted the people in your life? Would that change how they react to you? Would it at least change how you feel about yourself?

My husband and I had a 24 hour challenge over the weekend. Complaints were banned! We both noticed how much more we enjoyed one another’s company. We laughed even more! Traffic improved, store clerks were more efficient, it was crazy. Crazy good, that is!

Tablet displaying a Twitter feed screen.

From FoMO to PoMO (Pleasure of Missing Out)

Written by: Debbie

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows. “I wish that I could be like the cool kids,” is the hook for the hit song by Echosmith, with over 68 million views. At one time or another you may have been preoccupied by the idea that someone, somewhere, is having a better time, making more money, or living a more exciting life. Social media has made our lives public and we feel the need to make our lives seem glamourous. We take selfies in glamorous places, we post our every meal and drink and we tag one another at galas. All in the name of proving we are one of the cool kids. Thus, in 2013 the term FoMO (Fear of Missing Out) was added to the Oxford English Dictionary.

There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to keep tabs on friends and family, it is a part of our humanity to want to be social. However, our party selfies are having a whole lot more fun than we are. We share links to news articles in order to look savvy and yet according to research done by Columbia University and the French National Institute we don’t read what we are sharing! (Yes, I read the report.) This causes me to think about the Jimmy Fallon Lie Witness News bits where he interviews people with fake facts and they answer as if they had seen it on social media.

We enjoy a pants free night. You know the kind of evening where we can sit around the house and binge watch the latest episodes on Netflix or maybe even play endless hours of chase the string with Kitty. It could include take out for dinner or trying a new recipe. It is just nice to have that time at home without obligations.

Apparently that concept is catching on. There is a new phrase in town, PoMO or Pleasure of Missing Out. According to Yelp Eat24 CEO Mike Ghaffary, the delivery orders have risen by over 50% in the past several years. When people opt out of all the events they are invited to attend on Facebook, Twitter, Meet UP, etc. they leave room for breathing. They create space for real connections and they save money that could be used for say, a vacation? To me, this is a wonderful reframe. Perhaps we can live in a world full of social media and still find time to put down the phone. Maybe connecting with our friends and neighbors can once again become enriching. More importantly, imagine taking time to connect with your true self? I have mentioned before how our addiction to technology can be dangerous if we don’t remain aware. If you want to go from FoMO to PoMO and need some help with that, think about trying hypnosis. Now that is a real connection with yourself!

Can You Let It Go?

Written by: Debbie

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows. Make a fist. Make a very tight fist and hold it while reading this. Into that fist you can place whatever is bothering you today. Place rude or angry remarks, heavy traffic causing you to be late for an appointment or work, jealousy or whatever it is that has been robbing you of your focus today. As you place those things into your fist,imagine the emotions you felt when they initially occurred as if it was happening now. Amplify the feelings to the level that you have been carrying them around with you. Count to 5 and tighten the fist with each number.

Now in a moment I am going to ask you to release that fist (keep holding for now) and when you do, imagine that everything you placed in there flies out and up to the stratosphere. It is all sent to the heavens where it can be fixed, deleted or improved as is appropriate. When you release the fist, take a deep breath and say, “ahhhhh”. Ready, set, let it go! That should feel really good.

In order to catch monkeys in India or Africa it is said that the hunter drills a small hole into a coconut, attaches it to a base and fills it with peanuts. Then they scatter peanuts and bananas around the area. The monkeys are lured in by the goodies. Once those are gone, the monkey will put his hand into the coconut to retrieve the peanuts. The hole is large enough to get the paw in, while too small for a fist full of peanuts to pull out. The monkey will hold on to the peanuts until the hunter returns rather than let go. In other words, he will hold on to the very thing that will take away his freedom.

I have been guilty of the same, how about you? Holding on to an argument, because I was right and the other person was wrong only serves to keep my thoughts from being free. Holding on to insults, even making them my truth in retrospect seems silly. All the power I gave away, sigh. Sometimes by holding on to our grievances we become defined by it. Without our pain, we have no story. “If the other guy hadn’t cheated, I would have gotten to promotion.” Our bodies can reflect what we hold on to as well. Unrelenting anger can cause heart problems, affect our immune system, our weight and even cause damage to our lungs!

I don’t want you to try to never feel anything but happy, not only is that unrealistic it can cause more harm than good. Learning to express anger in an appropriate way is actually a healthy use of anger. I have worked with people who wanted to be perfect, never upset and so while they may smile on the outside, the weight continues to pile on or smoking increases or any other maladaptive behavior persists. Instead, choose your battles carefully and with thethings not worth ruining your health over, make a fist and let it go!

Psychology book with mental health notes.

May, A Month For Mental Health Improvements

Written by: Debbie

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows. May is Revise Your Work Schedule Month, National Mental Health MonthandNational Meditation Month.That seems telling; people are tired, over-worked, and stressed! The boss gives another assignment and there goes your evening. Maybe you are the boss and it is a demanding client that prevails upon your time. Perhaps it is the kids hectic after school activity schedule that keeps you running It is easy to forget to take care of ourselves.

Revise Your Work Schedule

I love the concept of revising your work schedule. After all, who doesn’t want a better work life balance? Whether that involves telecommuting a few days a week, tweaking your schedule or job sharing, in a perfect world those things can happen. Not everyone lives in a perfect world. So what are some things you can do to make your day more productive?

Clean off your desk…make files not piles. The average worker wastes 2 hours per day re-handling and looking for things. Keep that in mind at home as well, go through your mail while standing at the trash can (or recycle bin) and immediately throw out the junk mail you don’t want.
Make a plan. Prioritize! Recently a client of mine made the decision that she would do monthly birthday celebrations in her office with one big cake instead of the individual cakes and parties she used to give. The company has grown and so have her responsibilities. I encouraged her to take this a step further and delegate!
Keep a good to do list! There is just something aesthetically pleasing to crossing off the accomplishments of the day. Furthermore, once something is in writing, it becomes less nagging and easier to remember.
Take Action! Spend more time doing than worrying. To use an often repeated adage, “Worry is a misuse of imagination!”

NO MORE MULTI-TASKING

Now that you are more organized, let me offer one more piece of advice. STOP MULTI-TASKING! Yes, you read that correctly. Stop multi-tasking and start mono-tasking. Take a moment as you read this to mute your music. Turn off your television. Put down your sandwich and ignore that text message. Just read this. That is monotasking. Simple enough?

People love to brag that they can accomplish multiple activities at once; the problem is (according to recent studies) they are not doing those things well. A study in the American Journal of Experimental Psychologyfound that a mere 3 second interruption doubles mistakes and 4 seconds triples them. In easier terms, the time it takes to read a text can increase your risk of making a mistake! That is terrifying when you see the people texting while driving.

Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist, lecturer at Stanford and the author of “The Willpower Instinct,” believes that monotasking is “something that needs to be practiced.” She said: “It’s an important ability and a form of self-awareness as opposed to a cognitive limitation.”

Having dinner with the family? Put the phones and all the temptations of social media away. Turn off the television then watch the magic of conversation flowing at its best. Imagine going out for lunch and actually taking the time to notice aromas, appearance, flavors and textures instead of staring at your phone or computer monitor. Trust me; your digestion will thank you.

MEDITATION

Meditation is the third item brought to our awareness this month. What a perfect match for those looking to improve the quality of their lives. You have made changes in your day, started working on focusing on one thing at a time and now the wonderful mental vacation of meditating.

What I have observed is that type A, over achieving personality types tend to want to start out at 30+ minutes a day and do it perfectly. Instead, try just 2 minutes a day (already easier to fit into your schedule) and forget about perfection. Just breathe! That’s right, just breathe and count those breathes, while really feeling them enter and leave your body for a total of 2 minutes. That alone will help your brain and improve your day.

May flowers are popping up all over where I live. Birds are singing as I see babies in the nests on my morning walks. In Great Britain, May is National Smile Month. I have plenty of reasons to smile, so perhaps I shall add that to my list of celebrations. How about you?

Smiling Buddha statue with Chinese proverb text.

Seven Easy Mindfulness Tips

Written by: Debbie

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows. When we ruminate on the past, we aren’t enjoying the now. When we worry about the future, we don’t appreciate the present. Neither ruminating nor worrying solve a thing. When we learn to appreciate the moment, we are home! Sounds good, but how do we manage to do that? Here are seveneasy tips for including mindfulness in your day.

Walk With No Destination

I walk daily. For me it is a moving meditation.Interestingly enough, driving reduces the angle of your field of vision by up to 75%, depending on speed. Walking allows you to see more of your surroundings, so take it in, but remind yourself as you walk: there is nowhere more important for you to be than right here, right now.

Put The Phone Down

Place your phone in a drawer for an hour or two. Ignore social media, the television, anything that might distract you from quiet enjoyment. You just might be surprised and delighted by the results!

Create A Mindfulness Trigger

Choose a cue that you encounter on a regular basis to shift your brain into mindful mode. For instance, you might pick a certain doorway or mirror or use drinking coffee or tea as a reminder.

Wash Dishes Slowly

Wash dishes by hand and take time to notice the soothing warmth of the water on your hands. Be aware of the bubbles and the scent of the dish soap.Let yourself enjoy the experience of making something dirty clean again. Don’t think about finishing or what you’ll do when you’re finished. Focus solely on the doing.

Eat As If It Was Your Last Meal

Even ifdinnerwas acheap frozen dinner, how would you eat that same meal if you knew it might be your last? Would you slow yourself down and savor it more? What would this do for your appreciation of what you consume. Would you take the time to ponder about and perhaps feel gratitude to everyone involved in creating the meal, from the farmer to the retailer to the chef?

Deep Breathes At Every Stop Light

I often encourage my clients to take a deep breath at each stop light. This can allow you to be less angry when the others in traffic are rude. It also gives you the opportunity to notice the interesting things along your route.

Practice Mindfulness As Soon As You Wake Up

Mindfulness practice first thing in the morning helps set the ‘tone’ of your nervous system for the rest of the day, increasing the likelihood of other mindful moments. Don’t read the paper, turn on the TV, check your phone or email, etc. until after you’ve had yourquiet moments of reflection. During that time, just allow the mind to wander, then bring it back to your breath.

Self-Talk Can Be Loud, So Make It Nice!

Written by: Debbie

I have written about self-talk before. It is such a part of how we see ourselves. Yesterday it dawned on me that it was time for me to take inventory of the things I have been saying. I woke up anxious for no apparent reason and when I checked in with my “gut” there was still no reason to feel that way other than the fiction in my head. Therefore I reached out to a hypnosis friend of mine and she assisted me in making a change from stinking thinking to nurturing thoughts. It is time for me to practice mindfulness in my thoughts.

I realized that as I awoke, my thoughts were busy trying to get work accomplished and I hadn’t even lifted my head off of the pillow. My husband awoke with loving thoughts. Even the puppies woke up looking for belly rubs. Next, looking in the mirror I was far too quick to look at my bedhead instead of my smile. I realized that I have been critical of myself if I don’t get done quickly enough. I am not living in a pressure cooker, other than the one I had created for myself.

Becoming aware of self-talk

Now I stop and notice what my thoughts are. If the things I am thinking are not kind or add value to my day, I will change (even challenge) them. If I notice my bedhead first, I will laugh and think, looks like you had a great night’s sleep! If I make a mistake, I think how can I learn from this experience and stop berating myself.

Take a moment and ask yourself throughout the day, what are the things you say to yourself? During those quiet times, maybe when driving or waiting for someone and you have that chatter in your head. It’s your inner voice speaking to you. What is that voice saying to you? When you forget something, what do you say to yourself? When you realize you have made a mistake, what do you say to yourself? Are you kind, funny or compassionate? Are you encouraging, uplifting?

If you are critical, negative or hard on yourself, ask yourself why. If you wouldn’t speak to a friend or loved one in the same tone, then it is time to change that tone. Would you allow a stranger to speak to you that way? If not, then it is time for change. We teach others how to treat us. If we are busy being nasty to ourselves, how can we expect any different from others?

How we speak to ourselves is reflective in our posture, facial expressions and even our tone of voice. Our mood sours when we are nasty to ourselves. No one wants to be around a sour puss. Furthermore, it is natural for us to want to be right. So if our self-talk is negative, we create a self-fulfilling prophesy. Remember that all powerful subconscious mind. It hears and obeys.

Thought: I am so forgetful!

Response: Subconscious mind blocks a memory.

Thought: I am so fat

Response: Subconscious mind goads us into emotional eating or skipping exercise.

Begin to notice your thoughts. Notice the negative ones and think in terms of a healthier thought. Write down the new thought on an index card you can keep handy. Next time you find yourself going in the direction of negative, pull out the card and read aloud the new healthy thought. Read it aloud three times to really plant that new concept in your mind. In sessions I will often compare the subconscious mind to fertile ground. Whatever we plant, will grow. If we plant flower seeds, we get flowers. If we plant poison ivy seeds, we get poison ivy. Whichever seeds we nurture will flourish. It is time to put that negative self-talk in the trash bin and take the positive encouraging self-talk and place it where it will get lots of attention and grow.

A modern living room with a white sectional sofa and large windows.

Take a moment now to think how you want to live. How do you want others to speak to you? What do you want to feel about yourself? Now imagine that those words are petals of a beautiful flower that you are growing. Look over in your mind’s eye those petals, see those thoughts flourish and breathe in the fragrance of beauty. You could put a picture of your favorite flower on the index card where you have written the new thoughts. That way every time you reread the positive thoughts you also see the flower. Soon, all you will want to do is stop, take a deep breath in as if you were breathing in the scent of that flower and the good thoughts will start to roll!

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