Losing Snakes on St. Patrick’s Day

Written by: Debbie

St Patrick’s Day is here and the celebrations are in full swing, from turning rivers green (famously in Chicago and even locally the Hillsborough River) to parades and parties. The reason for the celebration, according to tradition, is in honor of St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland. However, as there is little evidence that this island ever had many snakes. Apparently, as snakes in biblical terms represent evil and Pagans were considered the same by Christians, it was the Pagan folks that were driven away (or converted.)

I like to use the metaphor in my life in a bit different way. I am not in any rush to drive Pagans or any other group of people out of my life, but evil can leave. Now, I am not plagued by evil, don’t mean to imply that. However, anything that stands in the way of my true inner peace can leave now.

Ironically, I once had a horrid fear of snakes. It took some self -hypnosis and contact with the creatures for me to change that. So, what are the snakes that I and so many others I meet deal with? FEAR is a biggie! Fear can rob us of inner peace as quickly as it becomes a thought.

We have a continuous inner voice that seems to rage on and on when we are anxious or fearful. This self-talk hugely affects our emotions and behaviors. When we start telling ourselves things that don’t line up with reality we get into trouble. We start thinking and believing thoughts that just aren’t true and these false beliefs become a prime breeding ground for unhealthy fears.

Often our first impulse when we experience fear is to avoid the source. When the danger is real, avoidance is an appropriate tactic. When fear is irrational, avoidance is inappropriate and will only make the problem more intense. Many people are in the habit of seeing the negative side of any challenging situation. When we focus on the negatives, we resist taking action and continue to avoid, becoming stuck. The more we focus on the possibility of loss the more anxiety and fear we create.

Avoidance is a serious obstacle to dealing with fear because it works. We temporarily feel good through avoidance. The problem is we can condition ourselves to avoid something rather than face it. As a result, we give a portion of our lives over to the thing we fear, letting it control us. Avoidance will never make fear go away.

You may find it helpful to make a list of any specific fears you have and get them out in the open. In each situation that leaves you feeling hesitant or fearful, try to understand exactly what is holding you back. What is it that you are afraid will happen and why? Are those things really likely to occur, or is there only a slight chance? If you take your fear to the extreme that you are worried about, what are the odd of that extreme coming through?

Next, use a separate sheet of paper and create a list of the benefits you stand to gain by moving forward. Be as specific and optimistic as you can. Remember that dread and fear will amplify your perception of the negative possibilities, which can make the positive benefits seem significantly smaller or less important. So, you may need to work a little harder at emphasizing the positive.

Comparing the two lists, you can then make a balanced decision. You will have a better, more balanced view of your options.

Recently I spoke with a woman plagued with anxiety attacks. Apparently, the onset of these attacks coincided with her beginning a job search. The more we discussed her concerns about finding the right job, the more her fears were expressed. When we took these fears to their extreme, she decided she was not likely to end up a homeless bag lady or dead on the streets of Tampabay. As we discussed the possibilities of what could go right, her fears began to dissipate.

In her case, she decided to move forward with the job search. She is not going to let fear get in her way. So, her snakes have been driven away.

Take a moment today to channel your inner St. Patrick and drive those snakes out of your life. Breathe in that inner peace, picture and imagine the beauty of those Irish hills and wonder what beauty might be waiting for you to enjoy.

Slow Down, Don’t Move So Fast!

Written by: Debbie

Wish you were “feelin’ groovy” as Simon and Garfunkel once sang? You know, able to slow down because you move too fast? It seems as though that plea has been around for as long as mankind, yet the more we create time savers, the busier we become. We watch TV while surfing the web on our iPads, we walk down the street while talking on the phone. We listen to music while driving or tweet and update statuses on Facebook and Foursquare, checking messages at the stop lights.

Now add to that our work can be stressful. The economy, bottom line concerns, fuel us to utilize all of our waking moments trying to be “more productive”. According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 41% of the more than 1,700 respondents say they typically feel stressed out on the job.

Workplace stress is not uncommon, but how we deal with it can have a negative impact on mental and physical health, and can cost businesses a lot of money.

So maybe Simon and Garfunkel weren’t so far off, perhaps it is time to slow down and say “Life I love you!” Slowing down is a conscious choice and not always an easy one. It does, however, lead to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here are seven quick tips to help you slow down:

1. Do less. It’s hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Ask yourself, is this really necessary? Focus on what’s really important and let go of the rest. Build in time between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace.

2. Be present. It’s not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you’re doing at the moment. So, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that’s already happened, or even something that might happen, bring yourself back to the present moment. Observe how happy our pets are, they aren’t worried about tomorrow’s meal, they just want to play with you now. Focus on what’s going on right now. Be aware of your actions, your environment and others around you. This takes practice but is so very worth while.

3. Disconnect. If you carry around a smartphone or other mobile device, shut it off. Better still, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being available all the time means we’re subject to interruptions, we’re constantly stressed about information coming in and we are at the mercy of the demands of others.

4. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars, buses and trains most of the time, and rarely do we take the opportunity to go outside. Often, even when people are outside, they’re on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise and play outdoors when you can. Find outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, kayaking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

5. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — practice eating slowly. Take three deep breathes before beginning a meal or snack. Be mindful of each bite, taking time to appreciate the flavors, aromas and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better.

6. Daydream. Let your mind wander. Most of us have been told daydreaming is a bad habit, but research shows that it actually allows us to be more creative. When we reduce stress, our minds are able to access regions of our brain not available when we’re stressed out. So, close your door, turn off anything electronic and close your eyes for five to 10 minutes. Let your mind wander. Who knows, the flashes of insight that come could be your next million dollar idea?

7. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. Again, notice our pets and how they breathe. Their bellies go up and down, as the air goes in and out of their diaphragms, babies breathe the same way. Try your best to do the same.

If you want to take a moment right now to slow down and relax, visit my website here for the free audio: Serenity

Legacy

Written by: Debbie

What qualities would you like to be remembered for?

Loving, friendly, creative, steadfastness, warm-heartedness, reliability, humor … what is it for you? Practice those qualities now.

Monitor your thoughts and be compassionate with yourself.
Take time each day to feel the gratitude for simple pleasures in life.
Breathe deeply. (Just by practicing deep focused, breathing for 2 minutes daily you will discover your body becomes used to responding in a calmer, more focused manner.)
Exercise daily, it is as good for your head as it is for your body.
Turn off the television, internet or anything else that prevents you from getting good rest at night.
Eat healthy foods, taking time to enjoy the taste, smells and textures of each bite.
Eliminate clutter, it sticks in your head and to your butt!
Forget guilt, it is an after the fact, unnecessary emotion.
Find a reason to smile and laugh.
Find and follow your Spiritual path.

You can evolve into who you aspire to be. What you practice is what younger generations will learn. So, what will your legacy be?

It’s All Small Stuff

Written by: Debbie

It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff that comes up. Traffic slows to a halt, friends disappoint you, money is tight. Over the weekend, my son who is in Argentina could not access his money through the ATM machines. He is 13 hours by plane away, does not speak Spanish, is unfamiliar with the city as he just landed there on Tuesday and was 45 minutes from the campus of the University of Buenos Aires (by bus) where he is working for the summer. The night before he got off at the wrong bus stop and it took two hours of wandering to find his apartment.

I was on my way into a restaurant for dinner when I got his call. He called using Skype. (How I love Skype!) However, he has to call me, as he had not yet purchased a local cell phone. He was down to 12 pesos and it was now Friday night. There was a banking strike in Argentina. It is winter, so it was colder than he is accustomed to here in sunny Florida. The details continued to pile up (electric was down, so he lost communication, etc.) and of course, it was extremely easy for me to go into awfulize mode.

However, that would not change or improve anything. My son is bright, and truth be told, he is 21, a man! So, I reminded myself of his ability to problem solve and focused on what an adventure this is for one his age. I was reminded of a time when I traveled for a company as a young model and I would call my mother from the hotel with some panic. Later, the panic was done and I would go out for the evening. Not bothering to call her back, I couldn’t understand her being so upset with me the next day when I got around to checking in.

I spent Sunday breathing deeply and enjoying the friendship of a long time friend. We walked the beach and then enjoyed a glass of wine together watching little ones splash in the water. By Monday morning, my son sent me an email, things were restored back to normal and he had great fun with his fellow comrades who live off campus with him there. He had made good use of American Express and so had his friends. He paid for their purchases, they paid him back in pesos. Simple enough.

I recently came across this video and I have shared it with clients. I think it is a great lesson in recognizing just how much we really are capable of overcoming and puts the little stuff into perspective.

I hope you enjoy this, get a tissue ready!

Monday Morning Musings….

Written by: Debbie

It was an exceptionally busy weekend with Valentines, a birthday party and a hockey game to attend. Somehow we managed to squeeze that in along with chores and errands. I even managed to go out with two fabulous women for dinner one evening. What became evident to me however, is the importance of balance.

I love my work, I feel amazingly blessed to be able to work in the area of hypnosis. At times I become all hypnosis, all the time. Then my family begins to protest. They keep me aware that “all work and no play makes Debbie a dull girl”. Have you ever had a friend who only talked about their kids or their pets or their illnesses? A steady diet of anything gets boring.

Give yourself the gift of a few moments today to stop and breathe, smile and relax. Think of a way that you can bring balance back into your life. Do you work nonstop, gripe continually or just feel overwhelmed? What might be different about you if you were feeling more balanced?

What can you do today, to create just a little more balance in your day? If stress is the problem, go here for a free stress reducing download.

Things Can Only Get Better!

Written by: Debbie

Yesterday was Blue Monday. It may have been the most depressing day in history according to Dr. Cliff Arnall, a psychologist in Britain. Arnall has mathematically pinpointed Jan. 19 as the most depressing day of the year, based on factors including the weather, holiday bills and abandoned resolutions. But this year, he factored in job security fears and economic collapse. “(This was) potentially the most depressing Blue Monday we have had,” Arnall said.

Today, we can officially say we survived and what’s more we are experiencing some pretty exciting history. With the inauguration of Barack Obama, America’s first black president, many are hopeful for the change that will accompany this. Just the mere energy of hope is profound, it is like electricity running through the airwaves.

On a personal level, focus on change. Forget resolutions, instead, think about one small change you have made or can make starting today. For instance, instead of worrying about losing 50 pounds, what if you slowed down your eating? That’s right, place your utensil down between bites and be aware of chewing your food. Instead of paying off all of your debt, what if you made one small change in your daily spending habits and placed that money in a separate account, or even a piggy bank! One small step at a time.

Just for today, smile at a stranger. Commit a random act of kindness. Think a good thought about a co-worker. Take a moment today to breath deeply. Close your eyes and imagine your world a safe and happy place. See yourself smiling and hear your own laughter. Then at the end of the day, notice if you don’t feel just a teeny bit better.

Things Are Looking Up!

Written by: Debbie

Last Saturday I was scheduled to give a 2 hour talk on making your mind recession proof. This was a free talk I was giving in honor of World Hypnotism Day. It was held at Oak Trail Books, a lovely book store that hosts this event annually for me.

Press releases were sent out in advance and the result was amazing. I am still receiving calls from folks who saw articles written about the event in newspapers and periodicals I was unaware of. Our local CBS affiliate had me on in the morning show, at 5:45 a.m. and 6:45a.m.! (That was a testimony to my dedication to hypnosis, trust me. I drove an hour to be there, getting me out of bed at 3:20 a.m. I believe my son was just going to bed as I was waking up.) The interviews were fun, I was given the opportunity to put two different producers into trance, live on the air.

The phone at the store rang off the hook. There were so many people calling to say they would attend, we decided to break the hour into two one hour segments. That way, more could attend comfortably, we figured. The building was filled to capacity. The second event, we moved outside to a lovely garden area the store has, it was full. I ended up giving a third talk on Sunday, so those who could not fit into the first two were able to attend.

At the end of each talk, I did a short hypnotic journey. Reminding people of times they felt happy, safe and content. I asked that they make the memory as real as possible, recalling familiar smells, sounds and images. We intensified the memory as if we were creating a movie in our minds. When the moment of contentment arrived, we placed our index finger and thumb together to make a physical anchor for that moment. Breathing it in and feeling our contentment, we felt our fingers. We repeated this process 3 times. Now, the simple memory of that moment, touching the fingers together and a deep breath will help us handle any situation life may hand us with calm grace.

For me, the pleasure was seeing so many people walk away with some new idea that they could use in their own life to better their thoughts. I tried to fit as much into each hour as I could. Perhaps my favorite suggestion for one and all is to look up. That’s right, look up. You see, when we look up as we discuss a concern, the emotion drains and we can get into fact finding and solution creating. Think about it this way, when we pray, we look up to the heavens. When we feel optimistic we say, “things are looking up”. Where does a person who is depressed look?

So my friends, look up! Speak your concerns while looking up, then breathe deep and close your eyes. Allow your eyes to relax and begin to imagine a future moment where the concern is behind you. You are now looking ahead, fear is behind you. Breathe into that moment, that solution and realize that fear only exists in your thoughts.

Coping With Fear & Worry

Written by: Debbie

This month is Halloween month. Around my neighborhood, the decorations are already being put outside. Some are lovely, fall themed displays. Some are cutesy Halloween ornaments. Then there are the decorations of the scary nature. For obvious reasons (I believe) scary becomes a theme during this time of year. So, it seemed appropriate that I take some time this month to discuss fears, phobias and superstitions.

These are scary times for many of us. The value of the dollar in the US seemingly plummets with every day right now. Jobs, even bad ones, seem precious. Homes have for sale signs all around. This can allow us to become paralyzed with fear. If you are a small business owner, as I am, it is easy to focus on the negative warnings of the news media and fear, then become paralyzed, unable to make any clear cut business decisions. America’s financial crisis is fueling chronic stress and limiting some people’s ability to think clearly, control emotions and regulate bodily functions in a healthy manner.

Now, in fact, is the time to take control of emotions. We can better regulate the mind-body stress responses. It is important to understand that there is productive worry and unproductive worry. Productive worry is thinking about situations in which you can take control and using those thoughts to conceive pro-active behaviors. Use productive worry to help you create a plan for taking actions that will reduce your stress. Unproductive worry is stinking thinking, focusing over and over on situations over which you have no control. Allowing that worry to create adverse reactions in your body.

Using productive worry, you can create budgets, eliminate unnecessary extras and come up with creative ways to make saving a family affair. As a business owner, return to basics, what has worked in the past? What does your business offer that makes you special? Who is your customer, what are their concerns? The same thing applies to you as an employee, what are your best attributes?

Perhaps you want to list those qualities for yourself, as a reminder. I am a big believer in making lists. Focus on yourself (or your business) and begin to list all those qualities that make you special. When you take those thoughts from the abstract to the concrete by putting them in writing, they become yours at a deeper level. You own them!

While it is a good thing to remain informed, take a break from the news. Rather than watching, reading and following every pundit’s thoughts on what is going on, go for a walk with the dog, read a good book or enjoy a moment of self hypnosis. Visualize yourself someplace happy and safe, filled with the memories of calm, serene moments.

Stay connected with your friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself from your support systems. Be sure to pay attention to loved ones and keep involved in your daily routines. Enjoy social occasions. Play!

Stress and worry take a physical toll, so be sure to use self hypnosis for relaxation of the body as well as the mind. Remember to breathe! Your breathe is always with you, breathe deep.

Friday Silliness….

Written by: Debbie

In keeping with the theme of Play, this song just seemed right.

However, I must add the caveat, forget the light a cigarette line and breathe in joy, instead!