Fear Of Flying

Written by: Debbie

Imagine an opportunity presents itself to land the big client, to finally meet with the CEO of a fortune 500 company and get a signature on a career making contract and all you have to do is fly to the city where the corporate office is located. It is too far a drive to be there by deadline, just hop on a plane and your career hits the big time! Maybe your favorite niece is getting married at an exotic resort and you are invited to attend, you just have to fly there. A group of your golfing buddies are going to play one of the most exclusive courses and make a weekend out of it. There is even a corporate jet provided to get you there. Just climb on board and join the fun.

Or not. What if you are one of the many who suffer from a fear of flying?

It has been said that as many as 1 out of every 3 adults suffers from a fear of flying. It is said to be a learned fear. The reasons vary as much as the individuals who suffer from it. There are those who feel claustrophobic (fear of enclosed spaces), others suffer from acrophobia (fear of heights), while others may fear not being in control or may have developed a fear as a result of a horrific accident they saw in the news. Still, there are those who have had experiences that set them into a fearful state. Regardless of the reason, the fear can prevent the sufferer from enjoying one of the safest modes of transportation and the opportunities that are available as a result of the freedom flying brings.

The first thing I work with a client on is understanding the fear. When and why did it develop? What aspects of flying are the ones that are bothersome. Understanding the the anatomy of the fear is important.
Next, we discuss the rigorous physical tests and classes that the pilots and crew must go through as well as the maintenance of the plane and the crew that maintains the plane.
Learning breathing techniques for relaxation are an important part of the process. Deep relaxing breathes, help to calm the body and the mind. (Avoid caffeine prior to flying!)
Finally, we regress to the initial sensitizing event and work on changing the perception of what occurred. Proof of the individuals safety is sometimes as simple as the fact that they are sitting right there in my office, not hospitalized or worse from the event.
I give a relaxing hypnotic audio to listen to prior to flight time and one to listen to on the plane. My clients report back that they not only survive the flights, they actually enjoy them!

Fear Of Public Speaking

Written by: Debbie

I have written about this fear before. My friend Brenda had a fear of public speaking that she overcame through one hypnotic session. It has made a big difference for her in her career since then. She stands before groups and keeps them enthralled with her talks.

The fear of public speaking is considered to be the number one fear people suffer from, even more than the fear of death! Three out of every four individuals has such a fear, that is 75% of the population.

This fear knows no boundaries of sex, race, class or anything else you can imagine. Ironically, the audience wants the speaker to succeed.

And yet…..

We perceive the audience as the enemy. We have visions of the audience waiting to pounce on our every word, find our faults, shine a light on our weaknesses.

I once was that fear filled person. I hated being called upon in class, hated giving speeches or even being noticed! Now, I teach at conventions, speak anywhere and everywhere I am invited and make appearances on television on a regular basis. I know the fear, I know the thrill of overcoming it.

Think about the freedom you could have if you were to overcome a fear of public speaking.

Monday Morning Musings…..

Written by: Debbie

Fear. Fear of not being enough.

Often I have clients who come to see me about their careers as well as personal lives. They are “stuck”. Things may be going well, but they can’t seem to get it to the next level. Worse still, they have the opportunity to move forward, but fear holds them back. What if they are not good enough? What if they are a fraud? What if another person finds out?! What if the opportunity really is too good to be true, after all they don’t deserve it, do they?

I tell a client at a time like this to ask themselves, “Is it too good to be true for anybody, or just too good to be true for you?” If your best friend or co-worker had this opportunity, would it be too good for them? Why is it that we see so much more worthiness for our family, friends, and co-workers than we do for ourselves?

First of all, perhaps it is time to give yourself some compassion. Take time to see yourself through the eyes of one who loves you. You may be the world to another, stop and think how they see you. Wouldn’t they see you as good enough for this opportunity?

Next, stop comparing yourself to others. You have your own set of abilities, talents and even quirks that make you the very individual you are. There is no one who is perfect, so get off your back! Your quirks are a part of you and unless they cause harm to yourself or another, let them be for now! Just focus on enjoying the experience of life.

I will take a client through a hypnotic experience of who they are and allow them to see themselves through the eyes of another who loves them. I will also guide them through an experience the way they imagine a hero or mentor would experience it. It is amazing the confidence that they can then go forward into the new opportunity with!

Start cheering yourself onward. After all, if not you, then who?

Friday Silliness

Written by: Debbie

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

This morning, at 4:00 a.m. I suddenly awoke. The house was still, but my mind was racing. My heart seemed to pound, loudly. I was sure the sound of my heart pounding and my thoughts racing would wake the entire household. I had just been dreaming crazy, nonsensical dreams. My mind trying to sort out all kinds of things, to be sure. I felt an unexplainable fear.

I wandered downstairs to get a glass of water and to prowl. Make sure that all doors are locked. Check. I went to see that my son was safely tucked into bed. Check. Dog sleeping in my home office. Check. Cat sleeping in older son’s room. Check. All was well, yet still I felt uneasy.

I often hear from hypnosis clients and friends about the 4:00 am hour of unrest. I have experienced it in the past as well, it has just been a very long time. It can be a time of revelation, answers and understandings or it can be a time of anxiety and unrest. This time for me, it was unrest. I crept back into bed and began to monitor my feelings. What were the thoughts going through my head? Were any of them issues that I could deal with in that moment? Was I going to effect a change right then? Pretty much, the answer was no. Then I began to think about how big the issues really were. One concern that seemed to loom over me, was something that I began to realize I had dealt with in the past, successfully. So why would it be any different this time? (Also, note to self, this time get the lesson so you don’t need to be awakened by such garbage again!)

Finally, I decided everything could wait for the light of day. I snuggled back down into my sheets and comforter (I know it is summer time, but I am cold with the ceiling fan on!) I focused my thoughts on the lovely day I had just enjoyed at the island with friends. I thought about how blessed I truly am. I began to listen for the sounds of the shore, the birds, the laughter that had been a part of the previous day. I recalled the warmth of the sun (remember, I want to get warm with that darn ceiling fan). I relaxed. I let go, I drifted off to sleep.

This morning I awoke to my husband’s morning greeting of a cup of coffee, prepared just the way I like it. Life is good. I am strong. Issues will be resolved or dealt with. Tonight I plan on sleeping like a baby.

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

I belong to a networking group that meets on Fridays. Each meeting, we stand up and introduce ourselves. Each week, three different businesses share a short (5 minute) talk about what the business is about. To better know about the businesses, we are encouraged to make appointments with one another for a brief personal meeting. It is a wonderful group of people, many different professions are involved and all the participants seem to be of a very high caliber.

The Friday before this last one, a woman (I will call her Brenda) stood up to share about her business. She suffered from the single most common phobia, fear of public speaking. It is said to affect as much as 75% of the population. Public speaking is also considered one of the most valuable skills a person can have in business. Well, Brenda was unable to get through the entire 5 minutes of speaking time. She shook visibly and was near tears several times. What was amazing, was that through all of that, she had a tremendous and powerful story to tell. Her business is her passion and her goal is to benefit special needs individuals. Brenda touched my heart.

It was announced at the end of that meeting who the next week speakers were to be. I was one of the speakers. How fortuitous! Some days life just hands you solutions without even having to look. I called Brenda and she agreed to meet with me in exchange for my speech time. We met in my office and had an incredible session regarding public speaking. Brenda was open and receptive to the idea of overcoming her fear. Brenda is bright and charming. We worked together for a few hours. That’s it. One hypnosis session, we recorded. She had one opportunity to listen to the session again before Friday. Brenda left my office saying she felt self empowered.

I arrived on Friday, with great anticipation. How exciting for Brenda to be able to share everything she had told me about her dreams and goals with this group. I just knew when they heard all she hoped to do, they would love her as much as I now did. When I stood up to introduce myself, I did it using sign language as well as speaking. This was to support her upcoming talk. People weren’t sure why, but I tend to go against the norm in that group, so they played along.

I was announced as the first speaker. Brenda stood up, went into the center of the room and asked a powerful question. There were immediate responses. She played with the crowd, creating word pictures and spinning her tale. The group was mesmerized! (She was hypnotic!) Brenda went around the room, making eye contact and drawing everyone in. There was no back ground chatter, she had taken control of this crowd. When she finished her talk, the room burst into applause, giving her a standing ovation. Tears of pride and joy streamed down my face. Brenda had delivered her message and it was received. Imagine the difference for Brenda now that she has this level of confidence making her presentations for her business. Now, that she has the power to make a difference.

I was on a different plain for the rest of the day. It helped to create a great start to my weekend. Now, as I sit here this morning, I wonder, how many opportunities I will be offered this week to experience such amazing change. How many opportunities will you encounter for personal change? Will you take advantage of them the way Brenda did?

Driving Towards Peace

Written by: Debbie

On my Monday post, I received a comment from a reader asking if hypnosis can help her with her driving anxiety. In short, the answer is yes. I know personally about this, because I have experienced the same thing. Please allow me to explain.

Many years ago, I had a job that required a lot of driving. I thought nothing of it, in fact, I loved it! Over the years I have driven with my sons on trips out of state. I enjoyed those trips and felt very comfortable. Then, suddenly, as if out of no where, I began to hate driving distances. Next I began to hate driving on busy highways and the Interstate. Finally, I began to hate even riding with another driver on busy roads. This was all last year.

There was a convention I was planning on attending for the International Association of Counselors and Therapists. It was being held in Miami, across the state from where I lived. I put off making reservations, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get there. I thought seriously about flying in and taking a cab to the hotel. I thought seriously about not attending. Very seriously.

Robert Otto, the President and CEO of IACT called me to remind me I had not made my reservations. He was quite insistent that I attend. He told me there was someone I had to meet. Quite reluctantly, I made my reservations for the conference. I knew that I would learn so much once I attended and I was curious who I was to meet. (Robert wouldn’t tell and that was driving me crazy!)

How was I going to get to the conference? I couldn’t admit to my colleagues that I was afraid to drive there. They would laugh at me, or would they? Perhaps they would tell me to get hypnosis for this fear. What was that thought? Hypnosis for fear? Hypnosis for driving? Could I have found an answer?

I asked a colleague of mine to give me a session for my driving fears. One session, that’s all. I was so embarrassed to ask, yet she never flinched. We did the session. I realized what the real reason was that I had developed this fear. It was totally unrelated to the actual drive. We then created suggestions for driving with confidence and awareness.

I asked a friend of mine to go to Miami with me. (Back up, just in case?) I drove the whole trip, and drove into a strange city and it was easy! I actually enjoyed it. I have a convertible and we drove with the top down, even when it rained at one point! We had a great time, she is a good traveling companion.

Well, the night of the banquet, awards were being given out. I lost a ticket and so I wasn’t going to go to the banquet without my buddy. Those in charge of the conference insisted it was fine, just attend. We did. The awards were being announced and it was a fun evening. Then Robert Otto began to talk about an award for the Hypnotist of the Year. As he began describing this person, I thought about how it must feel to be that person. Suddenly, I heard my name called. I looked around, unsure of why. Robert was calling my name, I was that person! I burst into tears and I must admit everything after that was a blur. The person he wanted me to meet, was me!

I am still honored and in shock. I am delighted that I overcame my fear of driving through hypnosis. I think this is the first time I have shared my little secret. (I hope they don’t want the award back now.) I just want to share that my colleagues are some of the most incredible and caring people in the world. Call your local hypnotist if you have fears to overcome. Hypnosis works and hypnotists love their work!

p.s. This year (May 14 -20) I am giving a couple of talks and a workshop on my Love Potion Number 9 at the convention. I will gladly drive to Daytona (where it is being held to see so many of my friends again.) I also look forward to Dan Cleary, Michael Watson, Gerald Kein and Michael Ellner to name just a few of the very wise individuals who will be speaking and teaching. Here is a link to the convention:

http://www.iact.org/conference.php

Failures? Lessons! The New Woman Rules

Written by: Debbie

Recently I have had the good fortune of being introduced to an incredible author. Fawn Germer is a Pulitzer-nominated author of two best selling books, “Hard Won Wisdom” and “Mustang Sallies”. Fawn has been recommended by Oprah Winfrey, so how much more can I say? When I obtained my copy of her latest book, “The New Woman Rules” (More than 50 trailblazers share their wisdom) I could not wait to sit down and read it. It has been more like devour it!

This book is the personal stories of extraordinary businesswomen who have more than succeeded, they are at the very top! These women vary in background and education, but they are all leaders. In reading their stories, they seem like my friends, sisters and colleagues. So, what makes them so different? Why did they get to the top when so many don’t? Fawn carefully explains the lessons they share from don’t hesitate to raise your hand to ask others for help.

I think what struck me the most however, was the amazing ability that each of these women had to rely on their inner wisdom. They explored their inspirations and allowed whatever was meant to be, be. I am not saying they ran wildly into the night spending foolishly at the expense of the company they worked for. It is just that they also did not over analyze their instincts. Not every experiment was a success, either.

Cathy Green, the COO of Food Lion tells of an experiment to expand a store she was managing early in her career. She was successful in increasing sales and needed more space for product. So, she decided to add a tent outside. The town council required a $15,000 sidewalk installed for this tent, she had the expense of Muzak, lights and shelving. When it was finished, she says it was debatable if they even made $100 from it. Here is her take on it,”Someone looking in might say it was a failure. But it gave me broad learning about working with town politics, driving business and bringing a vision to life. You learn from everything. Failure is not an option.”

Over and over I read those sentiments in the book. Each of these women had the vision to see what lessons they learned and keep on going. Many of them made lateral moves along the way, some even stepped down in order to step up later. These women were able to “re-frame” the events in their lives in a way that benefited them, their co-workers and their companies.

Fawn sums the lessons up so well in her conclusion. To quote her, “Be your true self. You are your greatest asset, so work it.” Later she states,”See yourself as belonging at the top, and you will belong at the top.” In other words, release fear and visualize the life you desire now!

Thank you Fawn for writing this incredible book!

Do You Have A Question About Hypnosis?

Written by: Debbie

There are many misunderstandings and myths about hypnosis. As a result, people often fear this wonderful tool. Hypnosis is natural and safe. Through hypnosis the quality of life is improved as fears are released, weight is shed, bad habits are replaced by healthier ways of life and more!

As your hypnotist, I do not “do hypnosis to you”, rather, I am your tour guide, assisting you through your own experience of creating change. My most wonderful web lady/production master, Dona, has loaded a video up onto my website that explains more. Please, take a moment to watch it and let me know what you think!

It can be found by clicking here: Hypnosis Myths
or just go to my FAQ page and follow the link.