This morning, at 4:00 a.m. I suddenly awoke. The house was still, but my mind was racing. My heart seemed to pound, loudly. I was sure the sound of my heart pounding and my thoughts racing would wake the entire household. I had just been dreaming crazy, nonsensical dreams. My mind trying to sort out all kinds of things, to be sure. I felt an unexplainable fear.
I wandered downstairs to get a glass of water and to prowl. Make sure that all doors are locked. Check. I went to see that my son was safely tucked into bed. Check. Dog sleeping in my home office. Check. Cat sleeping in older son’s room. Check. All was well, yet still I felt uneasy.
I often hear from hypnosis clients and friends about the 4:00 am hour of unrest. I have experienced it in the past as well, it has just been a very long time. It can be a time of revelation, answers and understandings or it can be a time of anxiety and unrest. This time for me, it was unrest. I crept back into bed and began to monitor my feelings. What were the thoughts going through my head? Were any of them issues that I could deal with in that moment? Was I going to effect a change right then? Pretty much, the answer was no. Then I began to think about how big the issues really were. One concern that seemed to loom over me, was something that I began to realize I had dealt with in the past, successfully. So why would it be any different this time? (Also, note to self, this time get the lesson so you don’t need to be awakened by such garbage again!)
Finally, I decided everything could wait for the light of day. I snuggled back down into my sheets and comforter (I know it is summer time, but I am cold with the ceiling fan on!) I focused my thoughts on the lovely day I had just enjoyed at the island with friends. I thought about how blessed I truly am. I began to listen for the sounds of the shore, the birds, the laughter that had been a part of the previous day. I recalled the warmth of the sun (remember, I want to get
warm with that darn ceiling fan). I relaxed. I let go, I drifted off to sleep.
This morning I awoke to my husband’s morning greeting of a cup of coffee, prepared just the way I like it. Life is good. I am strong. Issues will be resolved or dealt with. Tonight I plan on sleeping like a baby.
Even when we’ve dealt with issues in the past, they can sometimes sneak up on us when we’re least expecting it. It’s a nice hallmark of PTSD. We’re never really cured.
I rarely descend into the heart pounding panic attacks like I used to, but every once in a while, a trigger will sneak by my sensors and catch me unaware, and I’m off into adrenalin city before I know it.
All you can do is try to catch them before they come through and know that sometimes it’s going to sneak through anyway. It’s important not to beat yourself up for missing one, and to know that you can take action to lessen the effect of this one.
Not that this is your issue *laughs*. Just thought I’d toss this out there for those PTSD folks out there who have been in the same spot as I have.
Wild, the same thing happened to me on Sunday morning. Totally freaked out but as you I managed to even out and go back to bed.
I would really like to thank-you for the support offered during my crisis with my son and I sincerely appreciate your offers of encouragement and help. I’m not sure how I feel at this particular time, but I’m sure that faith and love will go a long way in healing.
was that you in the photo?! the girl in the photo looks like she is in her early 20s.
I tend to wake up frequently in the early a.m. and have no idea why. It’s very frustrating, especially when I feel so tired the next day. It’s good to think about what might be waking me up and then try to deal with it so I can get some rest.
jodith,
I understand where you are coming from. I am on the journey I am, due to some of my own life issues and diagnoses. Thanks heavens those experiences have allowed me to learn and ultimately enjoy life so much more.
jude,
my offer stands. Contact me and I will send you my personal number to discuss further, if you want.
allure,
thanks, you are too kind. How are you doing?
Hi Debbie,
Yes you are correct I did use a little self-hypnosis worked like a charm.
Is that you in the photo??
You look much younger without makeup……as many woman do believe it or not
Interesting. 3am is usually the time of unrest…when the veil between the living and spirits is thinnest.
Funny you notice that at 4am.
~Witchy Mama~
@ alan,
should you ever leave Canada and want a place to stay, call me! After that remark, you can even refer to women as chicks!
Your young friend 😉
@ unbalanced,
I have been told the “witching” hour is between 3 and 4. However, this is more about the niggles in the back of the mind, I believe.
I never refer to woman as chicks,,I just noticed that word being used in the EC forums and found it funnie……or is it groovy…hmm maybe Austin Powers is blogging here now?