Jack-O-Lantern

Written by: Debbie

A delightful Halloween tradition is the carving of pumpkins. How my kids always enjoyed the gooey insides as we scraped them out onto newspapers. Of course, somehow there was always enough goo to spread well beyond the papers, no matter how many I spread out. We would draw a face and carve it. Place a candle inside and our creation took on a life!

There were years I bought several pumpkins, attempting to do my “Martha Stewart” impression. Unfortunately in my house, I usually ended up looking more like Jimmy Stewart. Oh well. The kids and I had fun.

Carving Jack-O-Lanterns is a Halloween custom that dates back to ancient Ireland. The first Jack-O-Lanterns, though were actually made of turnips, beets or even potatoes, not pumpkins. Pumpkins began to be used later, when Irishmen immigrated to the United States.

There are several version of an Irish legend that tells of a man named Stingy Jack, who convinced the Devil to pay for one last drink before he took his soul. The Devil turned himself into a sixpence and when it came time to pay, instead of paying for the drink Jack pocketed the sixpence and kept it stored beside a silver cross. This prevented the Devil from changing back. Jack made a deal with the Devil before letting him free. The Devil could not harass him for ten years. When the Devil returned, Jack again tricked the Devil and surrounded him with crosses.

When Jack died he was refused entry at the Gates of Heaven. He went to the Gates of Hell and the Devil told him to go away, as Jack had made him promise not to claim his soul. Because it was dark, Jack didn’t want to leave and he couldn’t find his way. The Devil tossed Jack a glowing coal and Jack put it inside a turnip. Ever since with this “Jack O’ Lantern”, Stingy Jack’s lonely soul has been roaming the earth. Other versions tell of Jack’s death while stealing turnips and when he was refused entrance into both heaven and hell, he used a candle to light the turnip he still had with him. Other versions exist as well, I am sure.

The tradition of leaving the pumpkins out is to keep evil spirits away. Personally, I put a lit pumpkin out to delight my adorable little trick or treaters.

Superstitions can be a good thing, if not taken to an extreme. If your lucky shirt helps you remember your lines for an audition, great! Seeing it will boost your confidence, therefore, it has a placeob effect. It is when a superstition leads to obsessive behavior or fears that you might want to examine their value.

Take time to learn the history of a superstition.
Evaluate how it serves you.
Look at the logic behind the superstition.
Re-frame how you think about the outcome of “not” adhering to the ritual or belief. (This can be done with the help of neuro-lingusitic programming.)
Visualize yourself happy and successful, no matter what!

Ophidiophobia

Written by: Debbie

How I overcame Ophidiophobia or a fear of snakes. Snakes were never my favorite animal. In fact, I really didn’t like them for most of my younger years. Then something happened to change that dislike into fear. Not just a little afraid, not just, “oh my goodness they scare me” afraid, we are talking overwhelming and completely irrational FEAR! I couldn’t own an “S” encyclopedia fear. I had to leave a pet store that had snakes anywhere in the building. If a snake appeared on the television screen, I had to leave the room afraid. Zoos were painful, because I knew at any moment there would be the inevitable snake exhibit.

What caused this fear? Well, looking back, it was silly school age pranks. I was on a camping trip with my science class. This was an annual trip, that promised to be a great adventure. On one of the days of the trip, the teachers broke the group up into smaller groups and took us tramping through the woods to learn all about nature. We observed moss growing to identify directions, edible versus poisonous plants, we even took water samples from the nearby streams to take back to the lab at the camp site for testing. We felt scientific, grown up, curious and smug.

Then, our young and relatively inexperienced leader (it was her first year teaching) realized that we were lost. That’s right, we could not follow our steps back to the campground. So, we formed a circle and began to call as a group for help. The teacher had contact by walkie talkie, but they couldn’t pinpoint where we were. We called and called, no avail. There was a plate on the ground nearby that looked to me like it might be valuable. (My mother collected antique glassware and I think I was looking for a diversion.) So, I went over, picked up the plate and with that, the coiled rattle snake started hissing and shaking it’s tail.

I screamed at the top of my lungs! The search group found us immediately! The snake never attacked and all was fine. Until that night. The group was rounded up for our nature lecture and the teachers decided to talk about snakes. The boys in the group found this great fun, as I was still a bit squeamish. On the way back to our tents, they giggled in delight as they yelled snake at every turn, pointing up into trees, down on the pathway, everywhere. I survived the trek back and prepared to get into my sleeping bag.

Well, the boys had concocted a plan. They had found a non-poisonous snake earlier in the day and left me a little surprise in the bag. It took every staff member present to keep me sane and alive.

The teachers decided when we returned to school the following week that they would teach more about snakes, to help take the mystery and fear out of the situation. A snake handler was brought in. He lectured and brought some friendly snakes in for us to meet. I went into shock. Everyone was asked to come up and touch the snake. I froze. When the bell rang, I still had not touched that thing. He put the snake down on the floor, so I would have to walk past it. I sat on the table in front of me and started to rock back and forth. It was not going to happen.

I carried this fear forward for many years of my life. It kept me from enjoying kayak rides, golfing anything where the possibility of a snake existed. I began to realize just how much this fear limited me. Further more, when my sons came along, I became aware that boys like snakes. I couldn’t let my fears become theirs nor could I give two creative young men such an easy tool against their poor old mom!

So, I needed to employ the techniques of neuro-lingusitic programming and self hypnosis. I allowed myself to go back in my thoughts as the adult me to revisit the original fear inducing events. I observed them and reminded that frightened child that I was able to survive, proof of that was the adult me today. I gave myself permission to have a healthy respect for snakes, eliminated the need for gripping fear.

Next, I changed my thoughts and words about snakes. I stopped defining myself as a person who was afraid of snakes. Instead, I began to affirm that snakes had a significant purpose on this planet and I was curious about how they helped our eco-system. I began to think of snakes as much more frightened of me than I was of them and even told myself I could have compassion for them because I understood fear.

I began to get pictures of snakes and look at them, imagining how they might feel. Next, I visited a pet store that had snakes and went into the room where they were kept. On my second such visit, I asked the store owner if I could touch one. It felt smooth, not slick. I actually giggled at this! I have since held huge pythons, felt them move around my arms and even my shoulders. I have thought of them as cute! I drew the line at owning a snake, I can’t/won’t deal with the feeding issues.

I recently was poolside at a local club when a native black snake wandered by. There was a tourist there, who was terrified. She called to me to warn me that there was a snake in the vicinity. I smiled and continued what I was doing, until I observed her fear. So, I got up and steered the snake away, in another direction. She was relieved, I felt empowered!

I have had clients come to my office with this same fear. For me, this is a great session to have. I love the freedom that comes with overcoming a fear of snakes.

Monday Morning Musings…..

Written by: Debbie

It has been said over and over that stress causes us to hold onto extra weight. Whether it is the result of emotional over eating, elevated cortisol which causes our metabolism to slow down while our appetite doesn’t, it makes the battle for weight management a real battle. Stress also affects our aging processes. In adults, telemeres shorten with age, this stress-related shortening of the telemeres correlates with aging, corresponding to 9-17 years.

It seems as thought every day I am hearing from clients, friends and even strangers in the gorcery stores how stressed they are. There are many factors that produce these feelings prevelant in our daily lives. The price of food, housing and gasoline contiues to rise. Jobs are threatened in many industries. The media cries out the woes of our times continually. On and on it seems to go.

I cannot solve the issues that many of us our plagued with. I wish I could. What I can do, is listen when friend needs to be heard. I can share a smile or a laugh with a stranger. I can keep myself in order, the best ways I know how.

For me, keeping in order includes daily exercise. I enjoy the clearing of my head that exercise creates, the release of endorphins and the muscle fatigue that leads to peace after a good work out. Yesterday, I rode my bike along a nearby beach causeway. I rode hard against the wind and enjoyed the freedom when the wind was at my back. I pushed myself a little harder, with the intent of stretching myself.

Another way I keep myself together is to use neurolingusitic programing on myself. I noticed the thoughts I had and created ways to turn them into positive affirmations or desires. I became an observer. My husband commented on how I seemed to see so much on our ride. I noticed a tiny little snake, a baby who crossed our paths and a rabbit who peared out from the bushes along the trail. I saw a couple linked in a romantic embrace, back from a ride on their kayaks. I watched a sailboat pick up speed and almost seem to fly.

All of those moments reminded me how rich my life is. I live in an amazing paradise, filled with opportunities to smile, relax and enjoy. I can continue a treadmill pace to keep up with all that life will throw at me, or I can take a moment and enjoy what life has waiting for me in it’s treasure trove.

I use my self hypnosis to relax and visualize the life I desire. My life may have stepping stones along the way, I don’t know of a life that doesn’t. I am happy that I have been given the tools I have to create my life. I enjoy when I can share those with others.

Dear Debbie,

Written by: Debbie

My daughter is preparing to begin the school year, once again. Any suggestions for making this a more successful year academically?

Without knowing more about your daughter, her routines, her strengths and her weaknesses, it is difficult to give a pat answer. However, here are some great ideas for boosting brain performance.

Sleep More

Few people realize how important sleep is! It has been known since the 1920s that sleep improves recall in learning. However, only recently, research by Dr Robert Stickgold, assistant professor of psychiatry at Massachusetts Mental Health Center, demonstrated that sleep is necessary for learning! Without sleep we reduce the retention of facts we have learned the previous day. During sleep our brains release growth hormones essential to growth, development and alertness. We should aim for an optimum of between 7 to 8.5 hours of sleep each night.

Studies show that 20 minutes of sleep in the afternoon provides more rest than 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. Power naps can help you with tasks that require sustained attention and concentration. Contrary to popular opinion, napping isn’t for the lazy or depressed. Famous nappers have included Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Buckminster Fuller.

A 15 minute self-hypnosis session often refreshes and allows a person to feel as though they have had a 3 hour nap!

Feed Your Brain

To prevent memory loss, enhance learning, decrease stress, and improve productivity and concentration, the brain requires healthy food. Start your day with a protein-packed breakfast full of vitamins. Try eggs and whole wheat toast or fruit and yogurt.
Evidence is accumulating that a diet that draws heavily on fatty food and only lightly on fruits and vegetables isn’t just bad for your heart and linked to certain cancers. It may also be a major cause of depression and aggression. The brain is almost 60 percent fat, therefore, it can easily get clogged up with trans-fats that will slow you down. Avoid processed foods, and refined sugars. Keep your brain well-oiled with Omega 3 Fatty Acids and DHA such as those found in fish, flax oil, olive oil, avocados and almonds.

Retrain your appetite to include healthy, natural foods through neuro-linguistic programming if need be.

Get Physical

Aerobic activity boosts the flow of oxygen to the brain and this extra oxygen helps promote rapid growth of new brain cells. I mentioned the importance of exercising your brain in yesterday’s post Monday Morning Musing it is also true that physical exercise is an important factor in brain health.

A recent UK study found that schoolchildren who exercise four times a week get higher grades on exams than those that don’t. Prolonged sitting allows the blood to settle in the posterior and the feet. So when you tire of studying, get out there and get your blood pumping.

Change a habit

Research into the neuroplasticity of the brain has shown that if you make changes in sensory input patterns to the brain it helps activate new neural pathways, improving brain power! For instance, if you normally brush your teeth with your right hand, change to your left for a few days. A recent study showed that London taxi drivers have more developed areas of their brains due to their need to navigate a complex maze of city streets. Try taking a different route to school or work and make your brain bigger. Or walk around your house or yard with a blindfold on and make yourself smarter-just be careful not to bump your head! Think of the self confidence you will develop at the ability to change old tired habits and ways of thinking!

My Amazing Birthday Gift

Written by: Debbie

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday. In the past, I have taken this day and week for a vacation. This year was different, I worked. I am grateful. I was blessed with cards, gifts, well wishes and love. However, the best gift of all is a story I wish to share.

This story began for me only a little over one week ago. My phone rang at the office and it was a mother, concerned for her young son. This child had not eaten anything solid in several years without gagging and vomiting. He had been through many different tests and doctors. Nothing physical could be found. Mom had taken him for eating therapy, it was torment for both of them. She had been referred to me by a colleague who doesn’t work with children. She wanted to know could I, would I help?

As my background was working with children long before I became a hypnotist, I have worked with children in my practice. Usually, this involves working with parents and their inner child as well. I agreed to meet with the child and the parents to determine if I could help. Mom agreed to make a long drive to my office and set aside several hours.

This young man was delightful, articulate and engaging. Mom was nervous. I spent time with each of them, together and apart. I gave mom some insights into early childhood issues. Something that is important for all parents to understand is that in a world that seems large and somewhat out of a young child’s control there are three things that can be controlled. They are:

1. Whether or not one sleeps.
2. Whether or not one poops.
3. Whether or not one eats.

We know which stand this young man had taken. We (he and I) never discussed his eating. After allowing him to tell me so many stories, I was able to spin the facts into a story all his own. A story of a magical rock that helped a young man with his same name have super powers of healing bellies. We never discussed his eating. I used a form of hypnosis known as conversational hypnosis, involving techniques of neuro-linguistic programming. Young children are so receptive to this format.

We discovered we have the same birthday. So, we decided our next visit would be one week later, on our birthday, to celebrate! He walked in smiling and anxious to share his new toy. We greeted each other with enthusiastic Happy Birthdays! He got busy with some coloring I asked him to do for me, I spoke with mom. She seemed very happy to share the news.

On the way home from my office the previous week, this young man’s belly told him he was hungry. She handed him a snack as she drove on a busy road in heavy traffic. He began to get “the look” that began the gagging and eventual vomiting. This is where things changed. He asked for his magic rock and held it to his “belly”. For the first time, she said, the gagging stopped and he was fine. He had been successful the rest of the week and took his magic rock everywhere!

We covered a few more ideas and then he and I played together. He had actually been happy to pull into the parking lot at Miss Debbie’s! He left with us wishing one another a happy birthday again. I was happy/sad to see him pull out of Miss Debbie’s parking lot. What a gift that child is.

Dear Debbie,

Written by: Debbie

My wife is stressed and has lost her happiness. She is always upset and I have to hide it from the kids. Can you help her?

My first question would be does your wife know you are calling me? Is this help she wants or you want for her?

I often have well meaning friends and family call or write me wanting help for a loved one. “I want my Dad to quit smoking or my wife wants to lose a few pounds.” While it is great to be supportive of a loved ones goals for positive change, allow those changes to be the desires of the loved one.

Now, when a spouse asks me about the others emotional side, I want to know why that individual is not placing the call. It is important that I spend a few moments speaking privately with the person who will be receiving the help. I have also found it helpful to interview the one who places the call in private as well. In the case of the individual who wrote the above note, he was feeling overwhelmed and trapped by his wife’s emotional state. He was doing his best to remain strong and solid, but, he had sacrificed any time for himself in the process. He was becoming controlling, because he felt his life was so out of control.

I worked with the wife on her concerns, we did some regression work to allow her to see her strengths and to experience feeling safe in those situations that had sparked this emotional state. We also used Neuro-linguistic programming, allowing her to change her thoughts from those of doom and gloom to learning the lessons in her past without feeling the emotion. We carried her forward into future possible situations where she could apply those lessons and avoid the pitfalls. We worked on recalling thoughts that made her laugh and her husband was astonished when he heard her laughing later, it had been two years!

I worked with the husband on stress relief and we created a plan of action for him. Found ways he could get back to his favorite activity, body building. How great for him to get away from the stresses and release endorphins back into his system as well. There is more work to be done with this couple, but now their future’s so bright, they gotta wear shades!

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

It is time for me to get back on track. I have missed posting lately, in two ways. I have missed the opportunities to post and I have missed getting my posts up and responding to the resulting comments.

I have been a bit busy, with husband, visitors and end of school year for my youngest son. Now, all of that is behind me. What happened on Friday, however, was I hit the wall. I had been saying how I needed rest, felt drained and that I was tired. Gee, how my words got the best of me. On Friday, I got home from my last session to collapse on the couch. I was asleep for the night by 8:30 p.m. I slept until 9:30 (or later) the following morning. This normally would have me up and ready to take on the world the next day. This time, (remember my words) I felt drained all day. I even took time to go to my favorite store in the world (next to a shoe store that is) Home Depot and could not muster up enthusiasm. I fell asleep in the truck (no I wasn’t driving) on the way home. Neighbors invited me over in the evening and I declined, choosing to sleep instead.

This time I told myself that I was getting better and better every moment, in every way. I repeated that I was healthy and full of energy. I fell asleep thinking of all the energy I would have and use the following day. I even imagined myself stating I feel great today as I awoke the next morning. Sunday morning I woke up feeling great, automatically, without even thinking about it my first words were, “I feel great today!”.

I rode my bike to a nearby park, where I walked the whole circumference of the park. It is a beautiful park, part shaded trees, part beach. I took time as I walked to focus on how lucky I am to have such a place so near to my home. Then I rode my bike back home.

Next, my girlfriend called and offered a ride on her boat out into the Gulf. We saw dolphins playing and enjoyed the warm waters. (I must confess, there is nothing funnier than three blondes trying to anchor a boat near an island without letting the current pull the boat and us into the shallows.) While on the boat, I took the opportunity to feel the waves, hear the birds, enjoy the warmth of the sun. I just remained in the experience of each moment. Now, I have that to take me through this week.

I went to bed last night saying how lucky I am, how healthy I am and how life is great. I awoke, filled with renewed energies, once again. Amazing how much power our words have, isn’t it?

I would like to ask you, dear readers to send me your questions regarding hypnosis, Neurolinguistic programming, positive thoughts or the power of the mind. If you have life situations where you wonder how to apply these principles, send those as well. I will do my best to answer them, or find the expert who can. If you have stories where you overcame an obstacle and want to share, I would love to share those as well.

Take a moment now and breath. Feel the breath in your lungs, filling them up with cool fresh air. As you exhale blow away any imagined stressors and remind yourself that in this moment you are safe.
Breath in the joy that is life, release negativity. Become aware of your body, how it feels in this moment. Wherever you feel discomfort, allow it to fade away. Focus on discomfort being released however release works for you.
Then relax into your breath once again. Find the most comfortable part of you and allow that comfort to become very real. Expand that comfort, spreading it through out your body.

Imagine if you could take this moment with you all day long, how much easier your day would be?

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

Monday morning arrived fast this morning. I spent the weekend with family, doing chores around the house and having some fun as well. Yesterday I took my youngest son to a concert. I remember why I don’t attend them anymore. They are loud, it was outdoors and so very hot and smelly, it was crowded and did I mention that they are loud? Oh well, my son and his buddies had a very good time. I had been given the tickets for free, so I can’t complain about the cost. (Except for the hearing aides I’ll be needing now.)

There are many things I might have preferred to accomplish besides attend the concert. Nothing was as important as how great it made my son feel though. Feeling great, isn’t that what we all want? So, as the adult me sits on a Monday morning thinking about the week to come and all I need to prepare, I begin to feel a fret coming on. Then I remember what it is I do for a living. I help others feel great, gee, wonder if that might work for me too?

So, I begin by asking myself, what do I want to do. Not what do I need to do. Well, writing this blog is something I enjoy, so why don’t put that down on my list. I enjoy feeling organized, so why not list the tasks for the week and line them up in order of priorities, that feels better. There was even time to chat with my mother. I am so very grateful to have both of my parents still alive and healthy. It is important to me to take the time to enjoy that. Oops, I almost forgot a very important activity, a few moments of self hypnosis to relax and all of the sudden, I am feeling good.

The mind is programmed to reject anything that is potentially difficult, thus the difference in need and want. When I thought of everything I needed to do in my day/week, it became a rat race. When I stopped, took a breath and applied that knowledge based on Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) I was able to restart my day in a powerful, positive way. I was able to release that old stinking thinking. Do your best to stop, breathe and change the needs to wants whenever you can. It feels amazing!

My son and his buddy posed with a character that shows up to many local events, The Cowbell Kid. To avoid the obvious questions: My son is the one on the right, Cowbell is the one with the blue hair.

Did I mention it was loud?

How To Use Your Skills To Build Rapport

Written by: Debbie

There was an article sent to me today about building rapport with clients. It is essential for me to build rapport with my clients in order for our work together to be successful. I realize however, that it is essential to build rapport with anyone whom I hope to engage in a peaceful relationship. In Fawn Germer’s book (The New Woman Rules), she discusses how important networking is. Networking is work Germer states.

Over and again, the successful women she wrote about, mention the relationships they build along their journeys. One particularly interesting analogy came from Tara Weiner. She spoke of tribal dances performed by men of the tribe before the hunt or to bring rain. The dance isn’t about making rain or improving the hunt as much as it is about bonding. Building rapport with each other.

Neuro-lingusitic programming offers many ways of creating rapport. If you observe two people conversing who have rapport, you notice how they naturally move in step with each other. It is like a dance, elegant and in unison. In NLP, this is called matching and mirroring. One wants to be aware, however, not to just mimic. People respond positively to mirroring, while they do not like mimicry or the feeling that they are being made fun of.

The other thing to keep in mind is pacing. In order to lead somebody, to influence them with your point of view, remember to really listen to them. You want to fully acknowledge them and truly understand where they have come from. Remember, be patient about it.

This is only the beginning of building rapport, but two very important steps. Observe people while you are out and about over the next few days. Notice if you can tell without hearing a word they speak whether they are happy to be together or angry or even disinterested.

The Real Love Potion Number 9 Hits The Airwaves!

Written by: Debbie

Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Marty Matthews, the 4:00 anchor on Tampabay’s Channel 10 news. What a delightful woman she is.

Well, she asked me about the upcoming workshop I have called, “The Real Love Potion Number 9”. Here is our chat:Interview With Marty Matthews

There simply wasn’t enough time to tell her everything about this class and how exciting it will be.

On Wed, Feb 13th and 20th, I’ll share The REAL Love Potion #9. (Hint: It’s not something to drink, it’s something to think!) Through wisdom hypnosis, total relaxation, neuro-linguistic programming and deep writing, you will :

measure and build the self esteem necessary to attract love
determine where you’re stuck on the map of heartbreak
learn how to get unstuck
release the mistakes of the past
thoroughly describe Mr. or Ms. Right
prepare to love and be loved
start attracting the right person into your life

Does it work? Ask Janet Conner, columnist and author: “I met Debbie on a Monday, met him on a Friday.” Lance Clarkson, sales professional: “I’m about to marry the woman of my dreams.”

The class is filling up, so if you live in my area and are interested in joining in on the fun, I encourage you to go to my website and pay in advance. I’d hate for you to be turned away at the door because we are so full.

Register here: The Real Love Potion Number 9