self confidence


Although I have a commitment to building self-confidence in myself as well as my clients, I understand I am a work in progress. During this month of working on self-improvement, I find myself perusing all types of notes I have stored away for a rainy day. Ironically, as I am posting this, it has been a very rainy day. Part of my intent was to continue with my theme of clearing out clutter. Part of it was to continue my Happiness Habits and part of today’s perusal was due to the rain. I found the list below and I am not really sure where I first came upon it or who the author is. Most likely, Napolean Hill, as it seems like his style of writing. Regardless, I thought with this month being National Self Improvement Month and as building our self-confidence can only help us improve, this was worth sharing.

Commitment to Confidence Building

1. I know that I have the ability to accomplish all that I undertake. I know that to succeed, I have only to establish this belief in myself and follow it with vigorous, aggressive action. I will establish it.

Working Women Of Florida hosted a conference on September  5th and 6th at the Mahaffey Theater in St. Petersburg, FL. I was honored to be asked to speak on the subject of fear. Standing on the stage with 400 women present was an awesome experience. (Notice the picture at the top of this page.) The love and energy of this group of women inspired me to keep doing what I love most. I met some pretty amazing ladies, whom I hope to share with for a long time to come.
The presentation included the 5 “A’s” to remember when you desire to overcome fear. Those include:
  • Acknowledge
  • Awfulize
  • Appreciate
  • Ask (Afform)
  • Act
Acknowledge your fear and what it really represents for you. Is there a deeper reason for the fear? For instance, I once experienced a fear of driving that was more about a fear of success than it was about driving. Once I acknowledged that, I was ready to let that go and move forward!
Awfulize those dreaded experiences. In other words, take it to the extreme. That can help you realize that things aren’t going to be quite what you imagine. If in fact they are pretty bad, you might be surprised at the tools and skills you have in place for handling the situation.
Appreciate that in the past those feelings have served a purpose. Once you can accept and honor that, it is time to understand that you have outgrown other old behaviors (i.e. thumb sucking for comfort).  You no longer need these limiting thoughts and beliefs.
Ask questions that will help you. Rather than continuing to ask questions based in negative programming, begin to ask the questions that a changed you might ask. Instead of asking, “what if this went wrong”, imagine asking, “what if this went right”? (More information on questions that work for you can be found in the works of Noah St. John, originator of Afformations.)
Act on your new beliefs and understandings. To decide you have overcome a fear of elevators is great, to ride in one is real victory. Find someone you trust to support you in taking those first steps and celebrate the new you!

Take steps today to begin creating the life free of fear that you desire. Please, let me know your stories. I’d love to share your successes with others.

Thumbs Up!

Written by:

This is a great example of how it feels to conquer something that once seemed impossible. Even as adults we can relate to this young man.

What glorious weather we had here this weekend. The kind that inspires movement and for me, cleaning. Apparently, it inspired many I know to do the same. It seems as though it was a weekend for eliminating clutter. Clutter that surrounds us, can also take up space in our heads and on our bodies.

There are many people who become overwhelmed with clutter, leading to hoarding. They have a fear of letting things go. You never know when you might “need” that item. So the piles begin and grow out of control. When clutter takes over the home, these same folks often isolate themselves.

Some common characteristics of cluttered people are:

* Highly creative, with a superior intelligence.

* Compulsive spending/shopping.

* Fear and inability to discard items.

* Time management issues. Procrastination is very common.

* Money management problems.

* Tendency to be heavy recyclers.

* Having a chronic illness/disability or being a caretaker for someone with a chronic illness.

* OCD and ADD may also be present.

People with clutter and hoarding issues have frequent feelings and thoughts of depression. Perfectionism is often present, although they are unaware of it. “How can I be a perfectionist they ask me, if I am living like this? I explain that their high desire for perfectionism can result in them being overwhelmed by not having the time to do it “right”. They then experience an emotional paralysis. This leads to negative self-talk, embarrassment, a low self-esteem, and other debilitating emotions.

I work with these individuals through hypnosis to change their behaviors and habits, one baby step at a time. Make small changes rather than trying to fix the mess all at once. We also work on improving self esteem and allowing them to see themselves as safe in the world. It is time to throw away old judgemental beliefs about themselves and move into freedom.

For some, I find they need physical assistance as well. I refer them to a great company Professional Organizing Services. They are nonjudgmental and they get in and help do the heavy lifting!

Interestingly, as the clutter around them disappears, often, so does the clutter on the body. They also find they are more organized in thought as well.

For me, it is time to drop off bags of unwanted items at the Goodwill truck, parked in the Walmart parking lot. They make it so easy to donate!

My daughter is preparing to begin the school year, once again. Any suggestions for making this a more successful year academically?

Without knowing more about your daughter, her routines, her strengths and her weaknesses, it is difficult to give a pat answer. However, here are some great ideas for boosting brain performance.

Sleep More

Few people realize how important sleep is! It has been known since the 1920s that sleep improves recall in learning. However, only recently, research by Dr Robert Stickgold, assistant professor of psychiatry at Massachusetts Mental Health Center, demonstrated that sleep is necessary for learning! Without sleep we reduce the retention of facts we have learned the previous day. During sleep our brains release growth hormones essential to growth, development and alertness. We should aim for an optimum of between 7 to 8.5 hours of sleep each night.

Studies show that 20 minutes of sleep in the afternoon provides more rest than 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. Power naps can help you with tasks that require sustained attention and concentration. Contrary to popular opinion, napping isn’t for the lazy or depressed. Famous nappers have included Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Buckminster Fuller.

A 15 minute self-hypnosis session often refreshes and allows a person to feel as though they have had a 3 hour nap!

Feed Your Brain

To prevent memory loss, enhance learning, decrease stress, and improve productivity and concentration, the brain requires healthy food.
Start your day with a protein-packed breakfast full of vitamins. Try eggs and whole wheat toast or fruit and yogurt.
Evidence is accumulating that a diet that draws heavily on fatty food and only lightly on fruits and vegetables isn’t just bad for your heart and linked to certain cancers. It may also be a major cause of depression and aggression. The brain is almost 60 percent fat, therefore, it can easily get clogged up with trans-fats that will slow you down. Avoid processed foods, and refined sugars. Keep your brain well-oiled with Omega 3 Fatty Acids and DHA such as those found in fish, flax oil, olive oil, avocados and almonds.

Retrain your appetite to include healthy, natural foods through neuro-linguistic programming if need be.

Get Physical

Aerobic activity boosts the flow of oxygen to the brain and this extra oxygen helps promote rapid growth of new brain cells. I mentioned the importance of exercising your brain in yesterday’s post Monday Morning Musing it is also true that physical exercise is an important factor in brain health.

A recent UK study found that schoolchildren who exercise four times a week get higher grades on exams than those that don’t. Prolonged sitting allows the blood to settle in the posterior and the feet. So when you tire of studying, get out there and get your blood pumping.

Change a habit

Research into the neuroplasticity of the brain has shown that if you make changes in sensory input patterns to the brain it helps activate new neural pathways, improving brain power! For instance, if you normally brush your teeth with your right hand, change to your left for a few days. A recent study showed that London taxi drivers have more developed areas of their brains due to their need to navigate a complex maze of city streets. Try taking a different route to school or work and make your brain bigger. Or walk around your house or yard with a blindfold on and make yourself smarter-just be careful not to bump your head! Think of the self confidence you will develop at the ability to change old tired habits and ways of thinking!

Eleni shared with me how she had the good fortune of capturing an egret who was holding on to his dinner. This magnificent bird had just caught a fish and was ready to dine when Eleni had the amazing luck of seeing him. She always has her camera at the ready, so she whipped into a parking lot and snapped these pictures. I would only warn you not to drive behind Eleni, knowing how crazy US 19 is and that she will do anything for a picture!

According to my findings, the symbolic meaning of such a bird is self determination and self reliance. Also the tendency to be a “jack of all trades”. I have seldom if ever met anyone stronger, more self confident than Eleni. This just seems fitting! Someday she will share her amazing stories, trust me it will be a page turner!

Yet another in the letters that I get:

I am finding that I have lost my enthusiasm for my work. I am in sales and I can’t seem to close the sale lately. I have heard that hypnosis can help me with this and with self confidence. Can you help me and how many sessions does a typical self confidence program run?

I am often asked if hypnosis can help with matters of improving one’s self image. Yes! After all, how we feel about ourselves starts with what we think about ourselves. If we are continually doubting ourselves and finding fault with who we are and what we do, it will begin to wear us down. The more difficult question is how many sessions are typical. That is like asking a doctor to prescribe over the phone. Without listening to your heart, your lungs or looking at your skin, eyes, etc. how can a doctor be sure because you give him your quick opinion.

Maybe, a better analogy is when I speak with an auto mechanic. I tell him that the car is making a noise like this: ping, patta pat pat, ping ping. So, then I ask, what is it, how long will I be without a car and how much? He always wants to see the car and the person who makes those noises before he can give me a clear answer.

I do my best when on the phone with an individual to ask questions that will give me a little more insight into the presenting issue. I like to get a better feel for how ready that person is to make changes and what their personal goals are. This is more difficult with letters, unless the individual is willing to carry on a bit more correspondence or answer at length several questions that I will mail back. Ultimately, however, the number of session is up to you. You determine how much we will accomplish and when you are satisfied. The work is determined by you, the client, I am simply your tour guide.

What is wonderful, is when I receive a letter or a call from an excited former client, telling me how they have increased their sales and it is all so much more fun now. Just today, I was told by a client that any chance she gets, she tells people how it has changed her life for the better. She makes her living in real estate, imagine feeling that way amidst all the negative media being put out there for her profession.