My Valentine

Written by: Debbie

How loving are you with yourself? Not just today, Valentine’s Day, but every day? For many, Valentine’s is a wonderful, romantic celebration of their commitment to one another and to love. For others, it is a sad reminder of lost love. For some it is a poke in the heart as they feel they have never had real love. I teach a class called The Real Love Potion Number Nine, a love attraction class that is almost ready for print as a book/guide to finding your true love. (It is also how I managed to bring my amazing husband into my life.) One of the very first things we review is self-love, followed by unconditional love.

It is a very difficult thing for many of my clients to experience either of those. Modesty has taught us to negate a compliment. How I would cringe when my sons were young and I’d tell the parent of one of their friends how much I enjoyed their little one, only to have the parent tell me I didn’t know that child. Really? A chance for the kid to learn self-love now dashed. We really need to learn to just say thank you.

Often, my clients equate their value with their perception of just how “bad” the habits they have are. Unconditional self-love means loving all of you, despite your flaws. So, before we can even begin to create a change in behavior we need to instill a new understanding of how unconditionally loved we deserve to be. In order to do that, we have to begin practicing some loving moments with ourselves.

Pay attention to how you treat yourself compared to how you treat your friends. I know that so much internal talk is harsher than we would ever talk to friends or loved ones. Yet, we think we will respond well to it. You have the power to hurt yourself or make yourself feel better. Which do you prefer? It’s not loving to postpone self-acceptance until you are as perfect as you imagine you should be.

Unless you choose a different direction, stress will beat you up! Allowing stress to go unchecked is VERY unloving to you! Doing something/anything to relieve stress, says, “I love me!” When you feel stressed, stop, take some deep breaths, even if only for a minute. It can calm you down Focus on things that make you happy instead of on problems. Enjoy just looking at the sunshine or watching the rain fall. Visualize a place that makes you happy. Find something that reduces your stress and do it regularly. I have a free audio for stress on my website. SerenityGive yourself the gift of a more relaxed you. It’s YOUR choice—let stress control you or YOU take control of the stress. Less stress leaves more room to be happy, and feel self-love.

Give yourself permission to love yourself. Put it in writing, affirm you are worthy of love and even ask yourself each day why you are so lovable. It is through constant practice that love becomes natural, like any learned behavior. Give yourself permission this Valentine’s Day to be happy, now and 4-ever!

SELF-LOVE DECLARATIONS

1. I lovingly accept myself as I am right now. I appreciate all that makes me who I am.

2. I regularly give thanks for all of my blessings.

3. I appreciate and accept compliments. I generously give compliments.

4. I trust in my ability to take care of myself, I take responsibility for my life.

5. I now eliminate self-criticism and stop criticizing others.

6. I forgive myself and others when a mistake occurs.

7. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs.

I give myself permission to be happy!

Facebook = The Joneses

Written by: Debbie

Keeping up with the Joneses has appeared to have gone out of fashion. First, the book The Millionaire Next Door made us aware that conspicuous spending was not going to be wise in the long run. Now, it is far too easy to look out your window and see the foreclosures lining your neighborhood. Friends are having pot luck get-togethers instead of hosting lavish events. So, we are looking for experiences instead of status symbols.

Yet, there is one area where it seems we haven’t fully let go of the need to be the biggest, best, latest or greatest. Enter Social Media. We know better than to compare ourselves with others, there will always be someone who can claim more. If you read the posts and tweets that people put out there for all to see, you might think you aren’t going to enough events, eating enough trendy foods or having enough inspirational moments.

If one business owner puts it out there how busy they are, three of their competitors now share how much busier they are. If I am to believe all I see online, concerts and theater are no longer special events, but rather part of the normal weekly list of things to do and be crossed off. I am amazed how many donut makers want to post quotes of inspiration and motivation on their wall, instead of reminding me just how delicious their baked goods are. We have created a whole new level of competition/Joneses. Now, in order to feel good about ourselves, we need to have the most connections, responses, retweets, likes and comments.

Perhaps it is time to put down the phone, tablet, or any other device long enough to take a walk outside. Oh, I know you enjoy walking to your favorite tunes or audio book; however, listening to the birds or even your footsteps can be so very grounding and calming. What if you took a step back from social media for a few minutes of each day to be present, really present? What if you stopped comparing your social calendar with your 5000 “friends” and instead enjoyed just being you? I wonder who we might become then?

Happy Year Of The Wood Horse!

Written by: Debbie

On January 31, 2014 the celebrations begin for the Year of the Wood Horse. From what I have found, according to legend this promises to be a year of speedy success, unexpected adventures and surprising romances. There is high regard for the horse, as a speedy and powerful land animal, it is considered important to befriend the horse. It is thought of as an independant animal, for instance consider that the young foal is able to stand on it’s own within 10 minutes of birth, walking almost immediately after that.

Perhaps it is a good time to consider what the horse might represent in our own lives. Here are some examples of how we refer to horses in our everyday conversations:

Get on your high horse
Hold your horses
Horsing around, horse play
You lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink
Straight from the horses mouth
Horse of a different color
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth
Don’t put the cart before the horse
Work horse
Horse power
Kick like a horse

Do any of those expressions describe your thinking or behavior? Are you on a high horse or do you consider yourself a work horse? Do you wait for a hero to ride in on a white horse to rescue you ?

I have worked with clients who have had images of horses in their trance states that helped them ride to freedom, away from the worries they were carrying. They felt powerful and safe. After the session, they could hold onto that feeling in other settings and circumstances. It is beneficial to think of the horse and the qualities it represents to you, then close your eyes for a few moments and imagine those qualities becoming yours. Take a ride to your desired destiny and then begin to take the actions to make that dream a reality.

Hypnosis and the Bible

Written by: Debbie

I frequently get questions about hypnosis and faith. In particular, I am asked about how hypnosis can relate to the Bible and Christianity. There are many times when someone will tell me that I am doing the “work of the devil”. I am not now, nor have I ever been a fan of the dark side.

My father, who was an engineer by profession, was an ordained minister by avocation. If anyone was going to protest my career choice, it would be him. He did question me when I first took hypnosis courses. As I explained the science behind hypnosis, showing him that it is a natural state and showed him pictures graphics of brainwaves as they occur when under hypnosis, he was open to learning more. The more he understood, the more intrigued he became. When I told him that I could use the metaphors from the Bible and even specific scriptures, he wanted to try it out. Well, once in that chair, I thought he might never leave! It is how my audios Walks With Jesus were inspired.

One of my heroes in hypnosis was Chaplain Paul G. Durbin, Ph.D. Th.D. He was a Chaplain (Brigadier General) in the United States Army. He was interviewed by the International Association of Counselors and Therapists on this subject, here is what he said when asked, “Why do some Christians and member of other faiths view hypnosis as evil or as some say “The Work of the Devil”?”

“Hypnosis is condemned because of lack of understanding or misuses: Hypnosis should not be condemned as anti-religious just because some people misuse it. Some oppose hypnosis because they say it is used by the occult, but do they condemn prayer because prayer is used for occultic purposes? Hypnosis can be a very helpful tool in counseling. Though many in various churches opposed to hypnosis are using the principles of hypnosis (relaxation, concentration, suggestion, repetition) in their healing services, they denounce hypnosis. I was channel surfing on my TV and this minister, by the last name of Crank was preaching against hypnosis. When he finished preaching, he had an Alter Call for those who wanted to be healed and proceeded to use hypnotic techniques. He would stand before the person wanting healing. Crank had some of the church leaders standing behind the worshiper. He stared into the eyes of the worshiper as he made suggestions and then taped them on the head and said, “Heal”. What a hypocrite.

For those who oppose hypnosis on religious grounds, I remind them of the words of Jon Baptist Van Helmont, “Hypnosis is a universal agent … and is a paradox only to those who are deposed to ridicule everything and who ascribe to Satan all phenomena which they cannot explain. ” Without apology and when appropriate, hypnosis can be used for growth, health and the benefit of people.”

The Chaplain, who worked in a hospital setting in his later years told the story of a woman who requested his assistance in pain management through hypnosis. She was worried her daughter (a devout Christian) might object. The woman responded wonderfully to the hypnosis. The daughter was aghast and ready to raise havoc until Paul Durbin was able to explain that he too was a Christian and how well the mother responded.

Although there are no direct references to hypnosis in the Bible, that is because it wasn’t called that during the time that the Bible was written, there are hypnotic like examples sprinkled through out it. The first written recorded use of hypnosis is found in the book of Genesis 2:21-22, “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up in its place with flesh, and the rib which God took from man, He made woman and brought her to the man.” In this incident, God used hypnosis as an anesthesia so that Adam felt no pain during the removal of his rib. Paul speaks of going into a trance while praying in the temple (Acts 22:17). Peter “fell into a trance” and from that experience came to see that God loved all people and accepts all people who come to him. Peter had been invited to the home of a centurion who was devout in his faith, but was not Jewish. At that time, it was religiously unlawful for Peter to visit the centurion’s house. After the dream, Peter went to visit the centurion and accepted him as a man of faith. (Acts 10:1-48). Elsewhere in the book of Acts, there is a reference to an apostle looking into the eyes or gazing into the eyes of a person that resulted in the person being healed. “This man was listening to Paul as he spoke, who when he had fixed his gaze upon him, and had seen that he had faith to be made well, said with a loud voice, ‘Stand upright on your feet.’ And he leaped up and began to walk.” (Acts 14:9-10)

Hypnosis is merely one more means of helping an individual reach his/her goals. Can hypnosis be used for bad? All things can be used for good or evil. Hypnosis is neither anti-religious nor pro-religious. Hypnosis can be used to ease or eliminate pain, overcome fears and phobias, smoking addictions released, weight management and more. It can be used for good or bad depending on the hypnotist and the client. Religion can be used to promote the Spiritual or to control and manipulate the masses. So,if we are using the ability/gift of our own God given mind to help us improve,how can that be a sin?

Free Weight Loss Webinar

Written by: Debbie

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Merry Christmas

Written by: Debbie

Wishing all a day of true peace, joy and love. May those begin within and extend to all you encounter.

Artifice | Chicago Tonight | WTTW

Written by: Debbie

Artifice | Chicago Tonight | WTTW

Most teenagers find computers useful only for homework and checking Facebook. But a new nonprofit, started by a few people associated with the University of Chicago, aims to teach teens in the Woodlawn neighborhood everything about technology, from building a website to building a computer itself.

Throw in a few lessons about business and the group hopes that some of those students will eventually run their own small, tech businesses.

continue reading and watch the video:

http://chicagotonight.wttw.com/2013/12/16/artifice

Nothing to do with hypnosis, everything to do with gratitude. These young people are paying it forward with their new non-profit and I am grateful they are a part of my life. James Crooks is my son and Ashley Morgan Lane is his delightful girlfriend. Together they have created something very special for the inner city kids in Chicago!

The Benefits of Gratitude

Written by: Debbie

Today was my first in a new series of Brown Bag Lunches with the offices of Dr Cesar Lara. My topic (as the title above says) is The Benefits of Gratitude. I explain how gratitude affects our body, our mind, even our career! Then I offer ways that you can increase gratitude in your life.

My Favorite Things

Written by: Debbie

The recent showing of the The Sound of Music Live! found me enthralled. It brought back so many childhood memories of seeing the Julie Andrews portrayal of Fraulein Maria and how I would sing and play in the woods near my childhood home, that I was a part of the Von Trapp group. It was magical then and it was magical again with the live presentation.

Then I made the mistake of reading comments on social media. The news was filled with comments and rebuttals. It all seemed so sad to me. However, it also made me very aware that I am glad I am not a critic, at least the professional kind. Often, the job of a critic has seemed somewhat glamorous to me. Imagine getting paid to see the best of Broadway, movies or to eat in a variety of restaurants? I thought I would love that. This recent event has made me aware of something quite different. These folks are paid to analyze and critique every nuance of whatever it is they are reviewing. They get paid to pan things!

It is often said that we are hard wired to go to the negative. I am working in my own life on appreciation and gratitude. The news is filled everyday with stories of a bad economy, slow recovery and political fighting. People I know and love are suffering in so many ways, from health to relationships to you can fill in the blanks! An escape in the world of music, art, literature, dining, is a welcome reprieve. Yet, here these critics do their best to send me right back to noticing what is wrong!

I know it is a job and the critics are doing theirs. I am just thankful that it isn’t my job. I will continue to focus on the things in my life that I can appreciate. Being thankful that I am able to share my gratitude with my clients is just one of many of my favorite things!

Gracious + Attitude = Gratitude

Written by: Debbie

Thanksgiving commemorates a harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621, and is held in the US on the fourth Thursday in November. It is a day set aside to give thanks for the bounty of the previous year, although it often ends up with feasting, football and now even shopping for the upcoming holidays. Hence, we have one day a year to express our gratitude, between these other activities. Yet, is one day a year, during commercial breaks really enough?

Research has found that grateful people are more likely to:

-Take better care of themselves physically and mentally

-Engage in more protective health behaviors and maintenance

-Get more regular exercise

-Eat a healthier diet

-Have improved mental alertness

-Schedule regular physical examinations with their doctor

-Cope better with stress and daily challenges

-Feel happier and more optimistic

-Avoid problematic physical symptoms

-Have stronger immune systems

-Maintain a brighter view of life

So, perhaps a daily flexing of the gratitude muscle is in order. I call it a muscle to show you that gratitude is not just a feeling, if it was, we would feel it all the time. Gratitude is the combination of being gracious and one’s attitude. I want all the benefits listed above, so I decided to start daily rituals of gratitude. Daily reminders of what is right in my life as opposed to running the constant treadmill of more, more more!

Here are simple ways you can join me in this practice.

Good Morning and Thank You! Before you even get out of bed, take 2 minutes to reflect on whoever or whatever you are grateful for. Just a silent thank you will set the tone of your day to come.

Say Thank You. Whenever someone does something nice, say thank you. Mean it. No matter how small, recognize the kindnesses in your life.

Write a handwritten note of thanks. How many handwritten notes have you gotten lately. If you are like most people, not many. Texting and email has replaced the art of the written note. Yet, just send out one note a day and see how good you feel. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy, after all it is the thought that counts. (Especially for you!) It can even be a note of thanks left on the desk of a co-worker or written on a bill along with the payment.

List 3 reason for gratitude at the end of your day. Keeping a gratitude journal is easy when it is only 3 reasons at the end of the day. On the days you feel less than grateful, you have your journal as a reminder of the good things in your life.

As always, feel free to drop by my website to listen to a free audio.

Please, leave anything you do to enhance your attitude of gracious receiving in the comments below.

DebbieDona