Changing Your Thoughts

Written by: Debbie

So much energy was put into the possibility of a hurricane. The news broadcast the path of the hurricane continually. Warnings were issued, plans made or changed. Everyone was thinking about precautions and fears. I would never fault our governing bodies for wanting to protect us. It is prudent to act in alignment with safety. There was a media frenzy here. All Fay, all day! That being said, Fay has become yesterday’s news.

This morning as I went out for my morning run, I thought about how we do the same thing so often in our lives. We build up our fears into something larger than life. We anticipate total destruction in our lives, as we know them. We fear. I did that very same thing myself yesterday. I took my oldest son to the eye doctor for an eye exam. Because of an issue he had last year and the possibilities present in his blood tests, it was easy for me to go to the worst case scenario. The longer the eye exam took, the more I had to negate my fears.

I focused on all that was good in our lives. I read. I got up and walked around. I changed activities and made little jokes to myself, all to redirect my thoughts back to the positive. When my son walked out of the exam room, he smiled and gave the thumbs up sign. Turns out the exam took so long because he and the eye doctor got into a conversation about the Fibonacci sequence and books that incorporated it into their plot. Go figure!

I was thrilled with the news that all is well. Grateful, indeed. I also reminded myself how important it is to keep working on changing my stinking thinking at times like this. The time wasted on negative thoughts could be so much better spent creating a new project! I have found that my morning runs, my biking, any time I am active, it is easier to release old negative thought patterns and begin to focus on positive possibilities. I will begin to verbalize aloud the action I will take to create a change in my life and as if by magic, things begin to happen.

I have a buddy I run with, we share ideas and dreams while running. (OK, maybe our running isn’t as fast that way, whatever!) We have noticed that our goals are being met swiftly. We are manifesting the life of our dreams. We have learned that blame and excuses get us no where. Answers and swift action are taking us places. We can’t wait to meet to run, not because we love the running as much as we love the powerful changes we are creating. All with the power of thought, revved up with the power of action.

P.S. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, thoughts and prayers. Combined efforts like that are amazing!

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

This morning appears to be like any other day. The sun is shining and it is warm. I attended a back to school breakfast for the teachers in my area. The breakfast was held at a local resort, so everything was done perfectly. There were lots of treats and prizes for the teachers to take home, as well. Tomorrow is scheduled to begin another school year. I filled my tank up, gas prices have taken another drop.

If one begins to take a closer look, however, you notice homes with boards going up over the windows. Yard decorations and outdoor furniture is moved inside or thrown into pools. The grocery store parking lots are full, with people loading water, candles and batteries into their cars. It is time to prepare for the possibility of another hurricane.

I decided to take advantage of the calm before the storm and went for a 35 mile bike ride. Half of it had the wind at my back, making it easy to progress. For the other half of the ride, I was riding against the wind. (That makes me lapse into an old Bob Seger song.)

During the more difficult portion of the ride, I began to realize it was time to focus on the actions involved in pedaling the bike. My feet are clipped into the pedal, so if I begin to pull up as well as push down on the pedal, different muscles are used. I gain strength and speed. I also notice the movement and feel of my legs. This allows me to become aware how my breathing has lapsed into a new pattern, matching this change in movement. Suddenly, I am lost in the awareness of my body, feeling the physical humanness that is me.

A funny thing happens when I am absorbed in the moment. My focus becomes just the moment, without it being good or bad. It simply is. In that flash, body mind and spirit become one. I feel “connected”. I am aware of my thoughts as they pass through my mind at this time. It seems as though inspiration comes through. Without the resistance of the conscious mind trying to control all thoughts and behaviors, the subconscious can create possible avenues to creating change.

I have survived other hurricanes. I have been fortunate that while I have experienced damage to my home, I have never lost my home or a loved one in the storms. For a long time in the past, however, I identified with my loss. My home, under re-construction, was a victim of the storm. Lately, I have realized all the wonderful changes that have happened in my home as a result of the rebuilding. I am finding more joy in the projects themselves. My home is a safe place.

Last night a young lady stayed at my house. She is the friend of one of my sons. Outward appearances give the impression of a beautiful, bright and fortunate young woman. That is a fair assessment of her. However, she called looking for a safe place to think. Her family is going through a hurricane of it’s own. We offered a safe place

I have survived personal hurricanes. Again, no longer a victim of the circumstances, I realize how when life pared me down to my true core, it is wonderful to embrace the authentic me. Neither good nor bad, just me. I am safe.

It is my intention to post as usual this week. If I don’t, think of me with my family down in the man cave, playing pool by candle light. While the storms may rage around us, we’ll be safe.

Friday Silliness

Written by: Debbie

I have worked with many athletes on improving their focus through visualization. I have even worked with Olympic athletes. So, when this silly little video was sent through email, it tickled me. I just have to share it.

Kudos to the creator, Edward Krystosek.

Have a great weekend everyone!

More On The R -Word

Written by: Debbie

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words could even kill me”.

I spend my days working with words. People of every description walk into my office for as many reasons as there are clients. Everyone has a story to share. It is amazing how many every day, normal people carry the burdens of unkind words and taunts from early years. Labels that were applied without any thought, still carried deep within. Bank executives, CEO’s, nurses and laborers all carry words with them that have shaped their lives. It is through re-framing those words that we create powerful change.

That is why I am opposed to labels and words such as the R-word. That is why the pledge is important to me. I stand by my plea to eliminate the use of terms that are hurtful.

I received some interesting comments, many I allowed to post. Obviously, I love it when someone agrees with me, after all, that reinforces the ego. It validates my point. I am also open to discussion. In my household we often agree to disagree. The best conversations held over dinner have been the ones where all four of us have opposing viewpoints.

One comment made me think. I posted it. This individual gave me another perspective to a movie that I was blindly judging, without seeing. My girlfriend calls that, “contempt prior to investigation”. I have been upset at others who judged a book or a movie without first seeing it, here I was doing the same. Therefore, I will investigate further.

What astounded me was the vitriol and crass remarks that I would not allow to post. People presumed to know things about me that even my family wouldn’t try to guess. One comment implied that if we eliminated disparaging words, we would be limited to a vocabulary of only 100 words. (I must admit, my sarcastic side wanted to offer to buy that individual a dictionary.) Another person implied I was trying to think for them. ME? I am a blonde for pity sakes, it is all I can do to think for myself. Then again, many people who misunderstand hypnosis think I can control their thoughts.

If only, then the R-word would be gone and I would finally have my ultimate shoe closet built here at the home of hypnosis!

Hypnosis Quick Tip

Written by: Debbie

Here is a quick hypnosis tip for you.

Stop Using The R-Word

Written by: Debbie

I have a friend, Lynne, who is a teacher of special education. I have always said that when I reach the Pearly Gates, I want her resume, not mine. Someday, perhaps, I will write the many stories of this marvelous woman and all the miracles she has created. Today, I want to share an email she sent to me. It is regarding the upcoming movie, Tropic Thunder, and how demeaning it is to people with intellectual disabilities.

Words hurt. A quote from the Special Olympics Florida website: Whenever it’s used, the R-word is derogatory hate speech that demeans the more than three percent of people around the world who have intellectual disabilities. Hollywood and “Tropic Thunder” use and abuse the R-word, encouraging behavior that continues to demean a portion of our population who already face many challenges.

Words heal. I joined the pledge to eliminate the use of the R-word, how about you?

Which do you prefer?

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

This morning, at 4:00 a.m. I suddenly awoke. The house was still, but my mind was racing. My heart seemed to pound, loudly. I was sure the sound of my heart pounding and my thoughts racing would wake the entire household. I had just been dreaming crazy, nonsensical dreams. My mind trying to sort out all kinds of things, to be sure. I felt an unexplainable fear.

I wandered downstairs to get a glass of water and to prowl. Make sure that all doors are locked. Check. I went to see that my son was safely tucked into bed. Check. Dog sleeping in my home office. Check. Cat sleeping in older son’s room. Check. All was well, yet still I felt uneasy.

I often hear from hypnosis clients and friends about the 4:00 am hour of unrest. I have experienced it in the past as well, it has just been a very long time. It can be a time of revelation, answers and understandings or it can be a time of anxiety and unrest. This time for me, it was unrest. I crept back into bed and began to monitor my feelings. What were the thoughts going through my head? Were any of them issues that I could deal with in that moment? Was I going to effect a change right then? Pretty much, the answer was no. Then I began to think about how big the issues really were. One concern that seemed to loom over me, was something that I began to realize I had dealt with in the past, successfully. So why would it be any different this time? (Also, note to self, this time get the lesson so you don’t need to be awakened by such garbage again!)

Finally, I decided everything could wait for the light of day. I snuggled back down into my sheets and comforter (I know it is summer time, but I am cold with the ceiling fan on!) I focused my thoughts on the lovely day I had just enjoyed at the island with friends. I thought about how blessed I truly am. I began to listen for the sounds of the shore, the birds, the laughter that had been a part of the previous day. I recalled the warmth of the sun (remember, I want to get warm with that darn ceiling fan). I relaxed. I let go, I drifted off to sleep.

This morning I awoke to my husband’s morning greeting of a cup of coffee, prepared just the way I like it. Life is good. I am strong. Issues will be resolved or dealt with. Tonight I plan on sleeping like a baby.

Friday Silliness

Written by: Debbie

This was sent to me by a friend who has a very long lasting marriage. We have shared many conversations about what makes a marriage work. Number one is communication.

So, in order to help the men out there better understand how to communicate with their wives and for women who want to share this brief tutorial, I present this video. Enjoy!

Today I Graduated A Client

Written by: Debbie

I posted about a client of mine back in July, under one of my Dear Debbie posts. The woman was sad, she had lost her happiness and the husband was concerned. They were both suffering, in fact, so were the kids. A family affected by sadness.

The first session included hubby. She sat in the chair rolled up like a ball, he sat across the room, constantly interjecting his thoughts and interpreting for her. By the end of the session, she laughed for the first time in two years. Second session, she returned with hubby, who sat in the waiting room this time. We worked on her finding her voice. She started to practice speaking up, feeling worthy of her words and being heard. She went home to practice singing loudly, making her needs and desires known and affirming her value. The third session we began to discuss how her relationships were shifting as she was changing. Again, hubby waited in the waiting room.

Today’s session, she drove to my office alone. ALONE! She had prepared a list of changes she had noticed and concerns she still encountered. She will be returning to work very soon and therefore encountering a person and memories of what began her recent journey into sadness. We reviewed her list. With each concern she had, I was able to show her how far she had progressed. These concerns were not anything she ever could have voiced originally. She began to smile, realizing how tough she had been on herself.

Then I asked her about the return to work and the memories of what had occurred. She began to fret. I asked her a few more probing questions and her shoulders began to hurt. She was physically reacting to my line of questions. So, I had her close her eyes and breath deeply. Then she was to imagine a large bucket in front of her. Into that bucket, I instructed her to begin placing the parts of the pain she could identify. We would later burn that rubbish, when she had filled the bucket. When she became stuck, we invited the offending party to sit in a chair next to the bucket. This person was not permitted to speak, simply listen.

My client began to express all the anger she had towards this individual. She told of the pain she had felt and she felt her family had suffered as a result of their situation. She got angry, her face red, she cried real tears. She was amazingly strong. She told this person how she had trusted, befriended them. She stated how hard she had worked; “I tried really hard for you”, she raged. She proclaimed how she had changed and stated, “I just need you to know I’ve changed.” Then, slowly, she began to slow down and forgive this individual. Releasing this person from her life, allowing healing to begin. As she sat and wept, I quietly asked her, ” you said you tried really hard for the other, what if instead, you tried really hard for yourself? How would that feel?” She smiled, slightly and continued crying softly.

After a few moments, I asked her, “you stated that you just need the other to know you’ve changed, what if you just know and accept how much you’ve changed?” Again, a smile and a quiet calm seemed to be coming over her. Then, I asked, ” what if this person is neither good or bad? What if they are simply a combination, like you and I are, of both good and bad moments and qualities? Imagine if this person was simply in your life to teach you about yourself. Fulfilling a role as a teacher?”

She slowly quieted completely.

Next, she told me she wanted to get rid of the bucket, not burn it’s contents. So, we attached a helium balloon and watched it float off into the jet stream until it was gone.

Finally, she visualized herself, strong and confident; the same image she has been using since our second meeting, a power self. The strong one stretched out her arms and invited her to assimilate the two parts of her into one being. She literally held and hugged herself for a long silent time. When everything was complete, she opened her eyes and I was stunned. She looked different, her eyes round, her face soft, she was beautiful!

This was a new person sitting in that chair across from me. She knew it as well. She smiled at me and said, I feel as though I am meeting you for the first time. I gave her a hand mirror and she cried tears of joy this time, telling her reflection how she had missed seeing that face. It was a different face than had first come to visit my office.

When we were complete, I walked her to the door. I said, “You have graduated”. She smiled and agreed. We both knew she had become her happy self again. She promised to keep in touch. I hummed the Pomp and Circumstance song for her as she walked out of my office. She giggled and danced and marched in the parking lot.

Today, I graduated a client, with honors.

Dear Debbie,

Written by: Debbie

My daughter is preparing to begin the school year, once again. Any suggestions for making this a more successful year academically?

Without knowing more about your daughter, her routines, her strengths and her weaknesses, it is difficult to give a pat answer. However, here are some great ideas for boosting brain performance.

Sleep More

Few people realize how important sleep is! It has been known since the 1920s that sleep improves recall in learning. However, only recently, research by Dr Robert Stickgold, assistant professor of psychiatry at Massachusetts Mental Health Center, demonstrated that sleep is necessary for learning! Without sleep we reduce the retention of facts we have learned the previous day. During sleep our brains release growth hormones essential to growth, development and alertness. We should aim for an optimum of between 7 to 8.5 hours of sleep each night.

Studies show that 20 minutes of sleep in the afternoon provides more rest than 20 minutes more sleep in the morning. Power naps can help you with tasks that require sustained attention and concentration. Contrary to popular opinion, napping isn’t for the lazy or depressed. Famous nappers have included Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Buckminster Fuller.

A 15 minute self-hypnosis session often refreshes and allows a person to feel as though they have had a 3 hour nap!

Feed Your Brain

To prevent memory loss, enhance learning, decrease stress, and improve productivity and concentration, the brain requires healthy food. Start your day with a protein-packed breakfast full of vitamins. Try eggs and whole wheat toast or fruit and yogurt.
Evidence is accumulating that a diet that draws heavily on fatty food and only lightly on fruits and vegetables isn’t just bad for your heart and linked to certain cancers. It may also be a major cause of depression and aggression. The brain is almost 60 percent fat, therefore, it can easily get clogged up with trans-fats that will slow you down. Avoid processed foods, and refined sugars. Keep your brain well-oiled with Omega 3 Fatty Acids and DHA such as those found in fish, flax oil, olive oil, avocados and almonds.

Retrain your appetite to include healthy, natural foods through neuro-linguistic programming if need be.

Get Physical

Aerobic activity boosts the flow of oxygen to the brain and this extra oxygen helps promote rapid growth of new brain cells. I mentioned the importance of exercising your brain in yesterday’s post Monday Morning Musing it is also true that physical exercise is an important factor in brain health.

A recent UK study found that schoolchildren who exercise four times a week get higher grades on exams than those that don’t. Prolonged sitting allows the blood to settle in the posterior and the feet. So when you tire of studying, get out there and get your blood pumping.

Change a habit

Research into the neuroplasticity of the brain has shown that if you make changes in sensory input patterns to the brain it helps activate new neural pathways, improving brain power! For instance, if you normally brush your teeth with your right hand, change to your left for a few days. A recent study showed that London taxi drivers have more developed areas of their brains due to their need to navigate a complex maze of city streets. Try taking a different route to school or work and make your brain bigger. Or walk around your house or yard with a blindfold on and make yourself smarter-just be careful not to bump your head! Think of the self confidence you will develop at the ability to change old tired habits and ways of thinking!

DebbieDona