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DebbieDona
Yesterday I celebrated my birthday. In the past, I have taken this day and week for a vacation. This year was different, I worked. I am grateful. I was blessed with cards, gifts, well wishes and love. However, the best gift of all is a story I wish to share.
This story began for me only a little over one week ago. My phone rang at the office and it was a mother, concerned for her young son. This child had not eaten anything solid in several years without gagging and vomiting. He had been through many different tests and doctors. Nothing physical could be found. Mom had taken him for eating therapy, it was torment for both of them. She had been referred to me by a colleague who doesn’t work with children. She wanted to know could I, would I help?
As my background was working with children long before I became a hypnotist, I have worked with children in my practice. Usually, this involves working with parents and their inner child as well. I agreed to meet with the child and the parents to determine if I could help. Mom agreed to make a long drive to my office and set aside several hours.
This young man was delightful, articulate and engaging. Mom was nervous. I spent time with each of them, together and apart. I gave mom some insights into early childhood issues. Something that is important for all parents to understand is that in a world that seems large and somewhat out of a young child’s control there are three things that can be controlled. They are:
1. Whether or not one sleeps.
2. Whether or not one poops.
3. Whether or not one eats.
We know which stand this young man had taken. We (he and I) never discussed his eating. After allowing him to tell me so many stories, I was able to spin the facts into a story all his own. A story of a magical rock that helped a young man with his same name have super powers of healing bellies. We never discussed his eating. I used a form of hypnosis known as conversational hypnosis, involving techniques of neuro-linguistic programming. Young children are so receptive to this format.
We discovered we have the same birthday. So, we decided our next visit would be one week later, on our birthday, to celebrate! He walked in smiling and anxious to share his new toy. We greeted each other with enthusiastic Happy Birthdays! He got busy with some coloring I asked him to do for me, I spoke with mom. She seemed very happy to share the news.
On the way home from my office the previous week, this young man’s belly told him he was hungry. She handed him a snack as she drove on a busy road in heavy traffic. He began to get “the look” that began the gagging and eventual vomiting. This is where things changed. He asked for his magic rock and held it to his “belly”. For the first time, she said, the gagging stopped and he was fine. He had been successful the rest of the week and took his magic rock everywhere!
We covered a few more ideas and then he and I played together. He had actually been happy to pull into the parking lot at Miss Debbie’s! He left with us wishing one another a happy birthday again. I was happy/sad to see him pull out of Miss Debbie’s parking lot. What a gift that child is.
Eleni shared with me how she had the good fortune of capturing an egret who was holding on to his dinner. This magnificent bird had just caught a fish and was ready to dine when Eleni had the amazing luck of seeing him. She always has her camera at the ready, so she whipped into a parking lot and snapped these pictures. I would only warn you not to drive behind Eleni, knowing how crazy US 19 is and that she will do anything for a picture!
According to my findings, the symbolic meaning of such a bird is self determination and self reliance. Also the tendency to be a “jack of all trades”. I have seldom if ever met anyone stronger, more self confident than Eleni. This just seems fitting! Someday she will share her amazing stories, trust me it will be a page turner!
Please forgive me if I am brief this week. It is a busy and exciting time for me. I am taking deep breathes to remind myself to relax and savor these moments.
Yesterday, I went out to the island to celebrate my upcoming birthday with friends. I could not help but reflect how fortunate I am. My sons are fabulous young men and healthy. My husband is a great guy. (If I say too much more here, I won’t be able to live with him, so enough said.) I live in Paradise! I walked the beach, collecting shells and disturbing crabs who were none too pleased with that. Then, relaxing at the water’s edge I looked up to see the most amazing birds fly by. Huge, pink spoonbills!
I have never seen them flying before. In fact, I think I have only seen them in zoo’s and habitats before. Brilliant, pink and graceful, they flew by. It seemed to symbolize to me just how love permeates my life. I am blessed, and grateful.
Now, off to appointments and this crazy week. I will stop in to let you know how things are going, dear readers. Thank you all for the love I feel from your messages. (Even you Maxie!)
Whenever I meet someone new and they ask what I “do”, I tell them I am a hypnotist. You can imagine the responses that brings. There are those who are truly interested and ask lots of questions about hypnosis. There are those who dismiss me instantly, for a variety of reasons. Hopefully, my breath is not one of them!
There are those who instantly avert their eyes in fear. As if looking into my eyes had that much power. My goodness, if I were that all powerful, my sons would clean up their bedrooms and the toilet seat would always be down! (Especially in the middle of the night, thank you!) I am asked if I can make a partner change a behavior or habit. No, I cannot make anyone do anything, again if I could, that shoe shrine would exist in my house.
Often a nervous first time visitor to my office will joke and ask if they will leave clucking like a chicken. I very sincerely explain that I charge extra for that. In life, I believe, you have to have a sense of humor about yourself. As a blonde, a hypnotist and a mother of two sons, it is a survival tactic.
So today, I post jokes about hypnosis. I know many of my readers are jokers as well. So I am asking you to share the jokes and reactions with me that you have always wanted to share. I just ask that you keep it clean, my dear Mumsy reads this!
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A woman phoned the hypnotist’s office a week after her husband had visited with her. She was concerned that her husband could not remember anything about his visit. “What did you so to him?”
The hypnotist reassured the woman that temporary memory loss of the session was not abnormal and that they had worked on his sadness, as he had already shared with the wife. “I told him while he was under that he would be better and better every day, better and better every way. It is simple enough and I often use direct, positive suggestions like this. Why?”
The wife responded with, “Did you know he was a slightly deaf?” “Yes,” responded the hypnotist, “that wasn’t his reason for sadness.” The wife then responded, “But it does explain his new problem! Since his visit to your office he has lost a ton of money betting every day in every way!”
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OK, not so funny, but a start.
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A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. A hypnotist suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation
into giving more. “And just how would I go about doing that?” he asked.
“It is very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection plate.”
So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and behold the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every Sunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried his mass hypnosis again.
Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud thud and springs and parts flew everywhere.
“CRAP!” exclaimed the pastor.
It took them a week to clean up the church.
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Hey, I’m a hypnotist, not a joke teller.
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Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis. And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: “She’s not my wife… She’s not my wife…She’s not my wife…”
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Your turn!
I think I would like to try hypnosis to help me stop biting my nails. I have eaten my nails, chewed them down to the fingers and it is embarrassing. I feel crazy, because I just can’t stop! Will hypnosis help?
First of all, you are not crazy! Neither are you weak or helpless, even though at times it may feel that way. You are simply a person who happens to have a problem with nail biting. Hypnosis is one of the most common reasons a person will visit my office, after weight management and smoke cessation. The fingers are easily available , so it becomes a matter of habit and ease. Mindlessly an individual will place their hands in their mouth and start chewing away.
The nail biter is aware of the dirt and germs on their hands and under any existing nails and the possibilities of infection. They are embarrassed already having to reach out for a hand shake. So, well meaning friends and family aren’t helping by nagging, anymore than nagging will stop a smoker. In fact, it often leads to more of the same behavior.
Biting usually occurs when the biter is in one of two modes, either an automatic, “mindless” state or else when involved in another activity such as watching the television or at the computer. It seems to be an urge, that allows for a sense of relaxation or else it relieves boredom. Either way, through hypnosis you can “unlearn” the habit of nail biting and find healthy ways of handling the triggers (anything that is a stimulus) that set one to biting in the first place.
So, we work on creating a sense of calm that you can re-create anytime you desire. Next, we work on making you aware of when the urge strikes, so that you are conscious of the habit. Finally, we give you alternative activities to do that will give you a sense of calm or relieve boredom, whichever you find yourself feeling at the moment.
Last night I had the privilege of attending a birthday party for a friend of mine, who has just turned the corner of another decade. We have been friends for a decade, so this seemed right somehow. When I first met this woman, our sons were taking fencing together. She had just come from a swim and I remember being in awe of her. She appeared to have it so together. She was attractive, regal, maybe just poised. I don’t know what it was, she just seemed to have that “it” quality. Over the years I have become closer to her, although our sons have drifted apart.
This courageous woman has had a remarkable journey to becoming a published author and speaker. Her path is a story that only she can tell and give it true justice. When her book is released at the end of this year, I will be sure to let everyone know.
I digress.
The party was held to honor this friend by another friend of hers. She gathered us together with the instructions that we were to bring our thoughts about the guest of honor in a way that we could share, whether in song, poem, prayer, whatever our inspirations and talents lead us.
I asked each of the invitees to please send me a word that “SHE” seemed to represent in their lives and thoughts. I was given a wonderful list; words such as passionate, joy, brilliant and persistent. From this list I was able to create a hypnotic journey for all of us. For my friend, it was a chance to embrace how others see her and allow those words to become a part of her personal power. For the rest of us, it was a chance to embrace what we love about our friend and imbue that quality until it became our own.
It was interesting to observe the responses. At first the birthday girl had a little difficulty accepting that she could embrace herself, but once she did, she felt profoundly healed. She looked forward to listening again, at home and recalling the love that filled the room for her at the party. For others, it was a chance to become the quality they had admired. There were some who seemed restless, unable to accept. Others, became quiet and still in a peaceful manner.
I had one woman ask me if I was always that quiet. She said she watched me through out the evening and I seemed to be listening so intently and appeared so calm. This made me laugh. Yes, I had spent the evening listening to all of the stories being shared about my friend and by my friend. I had felt the peacefulness of friends just loving one another. I just never thought of myself as quiet! When I asked my husband about her comment, he split a gut laughing. Oh well, I guess for one moment in time, I was the quiet, still one.
It was suggested that I add these personalized audios to my website. Many of the attendees wanted to utilize this idea to honor another person in their life. So, I am considering offering such a product. I wonder if there is enough interest out there to go ahead and do it?
P.S. The hostess of the party is amazingly gracious and her home is so serene. So I just had to add a plug for her website, a virtual spa. Click on: Serenity Pathways and enjoy! Telll her Debbie sent you.
On my Wake Up And Smell The Coffee post I had a great question from Caroline. She posed:
Oh, by the way, does the same thing happen with tea? I am sure you are aware of the English habit of offering a person a cup of tea when they are feeling crappy.
I knew there had to something behind it. I just didn’t know what. So I enlisted the help of my buddy Ellie over at The Transparent Hypnotist. True to form, she sent this information back to me.
Hi Debbie,
Glad you asked about tea. It does indeed help with stress. According to a study by the University College London (2006), black tea helps lower cortisol (the stress hormone) levels that develop during stressful situations. The test group felt the benefits of relaxation much sooner during the recovery time after a stressful situation as well.
Ellie
So there you have it. Thanks Ellie!
In honor of the great news for coffee lovers that I posted about yesterday, I decided to stay with the coffee theme. One of the blogs that I enjoy visiting is Coffee Tickle. They have posted a great video from Scrubs about coffee addiction. It’s fun to watch. Treat yourself to a moment of enjoyment and stop by to see it.
My son, the one whom I send the Starbucks cards to has told me repeatedly about a show that makes him laugh. The show is Futurama, the episode he loves is one in which the character Fry drinks 100 cups of coffee and it results in time standing still. I believe as a college student my son has dreams of accomplishing the same.
I was unable to paste the code here without covering other important parts of my blog. (Sorry I am so techno blonde!) Therefore instead, for now, here is the link to where I was able to find the video:
Futurama Coffee Episode
Keep smiling!
One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband is his great coffee. He makes the best coffee ever. Further more, he serves it to me in the morning, every morning as I am still foggy from the night’s slumber. Before we were married, this marvelous man would sneak into my home on his way to work and fix my coffee, so that I would stumble down to the kitchen and find a fresh brewed cup waiting for me!
I limit myself to one or two cups of coffee, most days. That is a miracle, considering my heritage. You see, my mother always repeated that we were weaned from the breast by cups of coffee. (Remember that our truths are filtered by the words we hear from birth to age 8, so she was setting me up to have a love affair with the seductress coffee.) I believe I have vague memories of my mother wandering the house hooked up to an IV with a coffee drip. (OK, maybe that was just a fantasy my mother often spoke of.) Coffee ice cream was a treat reserved for something special, like living through the day, maybe? Iced coffee was a staple in the summer.
I have passed this legacy on to my first born. Every Monday, I write him a note in a funny card and include something like an article or a comic I thought he would enjoy, a crisp $20 bill or a gift card to Starbucks. His favorite find is the Starbucks card. My youngest son does not have the same love of coffee and I am wondering if maybe he was switched at birth because of that, but I will save that for another day.
Why all this information about coffee, especially in a hypnosis blog? Well, partly because of the power of suggestion. I just read an article pertaining to coffee and current brain research. Also, anything to do with brain research is guaranteed to interest me and I love to share the news. So, here is the scoop:
Studies in the past have shown that drinking coffee can relieve stress as well as reduce depression, but scientist attributed these effects to the caffeine in the coffee, not to the smell. Scientists have found that the mere smell of coffee has an effect on the brain.
Korean researchers conducted experiments with rats to study the effects of coffee’s smell on the brain. Stressed, sleep-deprived rats and rats that were not stressed were exposed to the aroma of coffee. The activity of the brain of these two groups were compared to two other groups of rats. One group was stressed and sleep deprived, the second group was unstressed, neither were exposed to the smell of coffee.
The researchers found that when the rats were exposed to the smell of coffee, thirteen genes in the brain that control anxiety were stimulated at different levels of activity. The result was a reduction in stress of the sleep-deprived rats.
According to the Korean researchers, for the first time, their experiment provides “clues to the potential antioxidant or stress-relaxation activities of the coffee bean aroma. These experiments indirectly explain why so many people use coffee for staying up all night. The stress caused by sleep loss via caffeine may be alleviated through smelling the coffee aroma.”
P.S. Honey you now know one of the 180 reasons I listed, only 179 to go!
