How To Use Your Skills To Build Rapport

Written by: Debbie

There was an article sent to me today about building rapport with clients. It is essential for me to build rapport with my clients in order for our work together to be successful. I realize however, that it is essential to build rapport with anyone whom I hope to engage in a peaceful relationship. In Fawn Germer’s book (The New Woman Rules), she discusses how important networking is. Networking is work Germer states.

Over and again, the successful women she wrote about, mention the relationships they build along their journeys. One particularly interesting analogy came from Tara Weiner. She spoke of tribal dances performed by men of the tribe before the hunt or to bring rain. The dance isn’t about making rain or improving the hunt as much as it is about bonding. Building rapport with each other.

Neuro-lingusitic programming offers many ways of creating rapport. If you observe two people conversing who have rapport, you notice how they naturally move in step with each other. It is like a dance, elegant and in unison. In NLP, this is called matching and mirroring. One wants to be aware, however, not to just mimic. People respond positively to mirroring, while they do not like mimicry or the feeling that they are being made fun of.

The other thing to keep in mind is pacing. In order to lead somebody, to influence them with your point of view, remember to really listen to them. You want to fully acknowledge them and truly understand where they have come from. Remember, be patient about it.

This is only the beginning of building rapport, but two very important steps. Observe people while you are out and about over the next few days. Notice if you can tell without hearing a word they speak whether they are happy to be together or angry or even disinterested.

Failures? Lessons! The New Woman Rules

Written by: Debbie

Recently I have had the good fortune of being introduced to an incredible author. Fawn Germer is a Pulitzer-nominated author of two best selling books, “Hard Won Wisdom” and “Mustang Sallies”. Fawn has been recommended by Oprah Winfrey, so how much more can I say? When I obtained my copy of her latest book, “The New Woman Rules” (More than 50 trailblazers share their wisdom) I could not wait to sit down and read it. It has been more like devour it!

This book is the personal stories of extraordinary businesswomen who have more than succeeded, they are at the very top! These women vary in background and education, but they are all leaders. In reading their stories, they seem like my friends, sisters and colleagues. So, what makes them so different? Why did they get to the top when so many don’t? Fawn carefully explains the lessons they share from don’t hesitate to raise your hand to ask others for help.

I think what struck me the most however, was the amazing ability that each of these women had to rely on their inner wisdom. They explored their inspirations and allowed whatever was meant to be, be. I am not saying they ran wildly into the night spending foolishly at the expense of the company they worked for. It is just that they also did not over analyze their instincts. Not every experiment was a success, either.

Cathy Green, the COO of Food Lion tells of an experiment to expand a store she was managing early in her career. She was successful in increasing sales and needed more space for product. So, she decided to add a tent outside. The town council required a $15,000 sidewalk installed for this tent, she had the expense of Muzak, lights and shelving. When it was finished, she says it was debatable if they even made $100 from it. Here is her take on it,”Someone looking in might say it was a failure. But it gave me broad learning about working with town politics, driving business and bringing a vision to life. You learn from everything. Failure is not an option.”

Over and over I read those sentiments in the book. Each of these women had the vision to see what lessons they learned and keep on going. Many of them made lateral moves along the way, some even stepped down in order to step up later. These women were able to “re-frame” the events in their lives in a way that benefited them, their co-workers and their companies.

Fawn sums the lessons up so well in her conclusion. To quote her, “Be your true self. You are your greatest asset, so work it.” Later she states,”See yourself as belonging at the top, and you will belong at the top.” In other words, release fear and visualize the life you desire now!

Thank you Fawn for writing this incredible book!

“To Sleep, Perchance to Dream”

Written by: Debbie

Oh sleep! it is a gentle thing,
Beloved from pole to pole.
—Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Do you feel as though you sleep walk through your days? Do you spend hours awake in bed with your mind racing, only to have it shut down during the day? Sleep deprivation sufferers number from 50 to 70 million nationwide! This is National Sleep Awareness Week and no one is more aware than the weary.

Lack of sleep adds weight to our bodies. Insufficient sleep affects growth hormone secretion that is linked to obesity. With a chronic lack of sleep the amount of hormone secretion decreases and the chance for weight gain increases. But wait, there’s more! According to the National Sleep Foundation, “Blood pressure usually falls during the sleep cycle, however, interrupted sleep can adversely affect this normal decline, leading to hypertension and cardiovascular problems. Research has also shown that insufficient sleep impairs the body’s ability to use insulin, which can lead to the onset of diabetes.”

I have a client who was a chronic non-sleeper. I know because her emails to me arrived in the middle of the night, waiting for me to rouse from my slumber to see her frustrations spelled out in black and white. Her battle with the bulge was surpassed by the struggle to sleep. She ached through out the day and ate to comfort herself at night. Double whammy!

We reviewed the practical suggestions of the National Sleep Foundation and then added hypnosis to the mix. We worked in my office on creating the mind set to sleep, allowing that inner voice to quiet. I gave her a recording I created with hypnotic suggestions helping her to fall asleep to. I am delighted to say, she is now “sleeping like a baby” and releasing excess weight.

Sorry, writing this has made me tired, I think I will go take a power nap……

Stress and DNA

Written by: Debbie

Scientists have confirmed what the overwhelmed have already known. Stress increases aging. Want proof? Just look at the aging that occurs in our presidents after four years in office. Increasing scientific evidence suggests that prolonged stress takes its toll on the body, in other words there is no separation between mind and body. According to a study done at UCSF, our bodies respond to our psychological environment. It was further reported that chronic stress may modulate the rate of cellular aging by affecting molecules believed to play a key role in the weakening of the immune function.

Our DNA is affected by stress. Researchers examined structures inside cells called telomeres, the caps at the ends of chromosomes. These are the molecules that carry genes. In a study at UCSF with two control groups, the findings reported that the telomeres of women with the highest perceived psychological stress showed the effects of the equivalent of approximately 10 years of accelerated aging. This was compared with the women across both groups who had the lowest perception of being stressed.

I have a dear friend who last year went through tremendous stress in her life. She dealt with the difficult illness and eventual death of a friend/mentor. Her teaching career, which had always been her passion, became more about numbers than the sharing of information with a new regime taking over the college. Her family dealt with an upheaval and her health is challenged by a chronic illness. Those of us who love her, became concerned.

She was fortunate, she was able to retire and move to the mountains for 6 months of the year. She spent time hiking and reflecting. She took time to heal. Upon her return, I could not believe it was the same friend. She looks ten years younger and is more like herself once again.

We don’t all have the good fortune of retiring and moving away like that. However, imagine making the choice to change the stress in your life today. Reduce stress by 10% at first and then continue to reduce stress 10% at a time until it is manageable. Begin with deep breathing. It is a physiological impossibility to feel stress and breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Humor is our friend. Through humor we are able to re-frame a situation and quiet the inner critic. This allows you to gain perspective and release endorphins, the feel good chemicals of the brain. Personally, I remind my son every morning on his way to school to find a reason to smile and laugh. I ask him after school, did anything happen today that made you smile?

Hypnosis is an awesome opportunity for stress relief. Picture and imagine sitting someplace safe and allowing your thoughts wander to comfort and serenity. Allow your muscles to relax, releasing tensions and tightness. Then just imagine that everything in your world is right. After all, in this moment, it is. I think I will go relax into a hypnotic state myself now……..

Fire Walking

Written by: Debbie

A segment that the Good Morning America team are doing that has truly been inspirational, has been the dares the hosts are challenging one another with. They are attempting to stretch themselves beyond their comfort zones and therefore inspire their audience to do the same. I have the joy of observing people do the same in my work.

First of all Robin Roberts was dared to walk the catwalk in a fashion show. Robin is currently undergoing treatments for breast cancer. While she is an attractive and slim woman, her self image has been more athletic than glamorous it seems. She has taken a hit to the ego with her loss of hair (and energy, I imagine) from the chemotherapy. So, she was challenged to walk the runway with beautiful, young, runway models. Robin walked with style, in bright red and without her wig on! She was fabulous! It brought me to tears.

Next, Sam Cuomo fell from a 51 story building in a stunt team descender. The mental preparations once again were astounding. My stomach lurched with him as he left the ledge of that building. I was glad he was safe and laughing at the end of his stunt.

Then Diane Sawyer was challenged to do a fire walk. Now we’re talking something I would enjoy. (And not just because I am cold even in warm, sunny Florida!) Fire walking, a right of passage into the belief that you can accomplish anything for many cultures through out history. In preparation for this event, Diane and her team went to see a hypnotist. The piece they did on hypnosis was fabulous! They were factual and informative. They included an expert from Harvard Medical School as well as Dr. David Spiegel, a psychiatrist at Stanford University

Click here for the link to the video:
Diane And ‘GMA’ Staffers Prepare For Their Dare.

Whats challenges can you create today? How can you stretch yourself just a little further than you thought possible? Do you use self-hypnosis to stretch? Wow, I’m excited as I write this, thinking I have only begun to find out what I can truly accomplish.

The Real Love Potion Number 9 Hits The Airwaves!

Written by: Debbie

Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Marty Matthews, the 4:00 anchor on Tampabay’s Channel 10 news. What a delightful woman she is.

Well, she asked me about the upcoming workshop I have called, “The Real Love Potion Number 9”. Here is our chat:Interview With Marty Matthews

There simply wasn’t enough time to tell her everything about this class and how exciting it will be.

On Wed, Feb 13th and 20th, I’ll share The REAL Love Potion #9. (Hint: It’s not something to drink, it’s something to think!) Through wisdom hypnosis, total relaxation, neuro-linguistic programming and deep writing, you will :

measure and build the self esteem necessary to attract love
determine where you’re stuck on the map of heartbreak
learn how to get unstuck
release the mistakes of the past
thoroughly describe Mr. or Ms. Right
prepare to love and be loved
start attracting the right person into your life

Does it work? Ask Janet Conner, columnist and author: “I met Debbie on a Monday, met him on a Friday.” Lance Clarkson, sales professional: “I’m about to marry the woman of my dreams.”

The class is filling up, so if you live in my area and are interested in joining in on the fun, I encourage you to go to my website and pay in advance. I’d hate for you to be turned away at the door because we are so full.

Register here: The Real Love Potion Number 9

I am Madame Rue (and so can you!)

Written by: Debbie

If Valentines Day is so happy, why do one in four Americans refuse to celebrate it? And why do 15% of American women (and some men) send flowers to themselves?

Obviously, we haven’t all found our true love. But it isn’t for lack of trying. We gamely go to singles events. We cross our fingers and register online. We hound friends for introductions. We even hang out in bars. But six months or six years later, we still sigh when Elvis asks, “Are you lonesome tonight?”

Remember the guy in Love Potion #9 who was a “flop with chicks?” Well he almost got it right. But instead of going to Madame Rue for something to drink, he should have come to Wisdom Hypnosis for something to think. Everyone knows hypnosis is effective for smoke cessation and weight management; but did you know that hypnosis can help you define and attract that special someone who matches your requirements—exactly. (Don’t believe me? Wait till you meet Exhibit A.)

Join me February 13^th and 20^th for The Real Love Potion #9. Through wisdom hypnosis, total relaxation, and deep writing, you will:

· measure and build self esteem

· determine where you’re stuck on the map of heartbreak

· learn how to get unstuck

· release the mistakes of the past

· thoroughly describe Mr. or Ms. Right

· prepare to love and be loved

· start attracting the right person into your life

These 2 evenings are all about love, so we have to meet at the charming and historic White Chapel in downtown Palm Harbor . Yes, it’s true. “We’re goin’ to the chapel.”

The Real Love Potion #9

Palm Harbor White Chapel

1190 Georgia Avenue, Palm Harbor , FL

Wednesday, February 13 & 20

7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.

www.wisdomhypnosis.com
(for more details, as soon as my web lady can get the link up!)

(727) 781-8483

Heal Faster With Hypnosis

Written by: Debbie

Yesterday, I picked up a new copy of Prevention Magazine. (The February 2008 edition.) I love to read through them and then leave them in my office waiting room. They often have an article or two that strikes a chord with a client of mine and at times will walk out of the office as a result. This is a great thing, as I encourage my clients to read healthy lifestyle articles on a daily basis, keeping their mind set on health and happiness.

Perusing through the magazine later in the evening, I was delighted to see page 31. Under the heading of Health, there is a snippet that is titled Heal Faster with Hypnosis. The article explains that just 15 minutes of hypnotherapy can reduce the amount of anesthesia needed during surgery and the pain, nausea and fatigue afterward. It sites a study done at the New York City Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

I have worked with clients in a pre-op situation and given them audios to listen to post-op. The results have been phenomenol. They report feeling less apprehensive going into the surgery and not going through the same “let down” after the surgery.

On The Radio Update

Written by: Debbie

This morning was the big event. I went on air with Fisher and Boy of 97x. We had so much fun. Now, it needs to be understood that this is a drive time radio show. Their main objective is entertainment. In fact, that is why they do what they do. It is a passion for bringing a little joy into the lives of their listeners. They shared with me how they love what they do, hope to create a positive moment in the lives of their audience and leave everyone with a smile for some portion of the day.

That is awesome. By creating those laughs, they are shutting off the inner critic. The upper left quadrant of our brain is where that critic lives. By allowing a few moments of fun before starting the day, they are helping their listeners to begin a workday refreshed. The folds of the brain can change, helping to create a permanent positive outlook. We went after the hypnotic portion of the show with that attitude. Let’s have some fun and help people laugh.

I helped Fisher go into hypnosis. He was calm and relaxed. Boy was funny, asking for hypnotherapy on the air to change everything from Fisher’s attitude to world peace. Somewhere in between, we found a compromise.

I believe we accomplished our goal of fun, laughter and even a bit of understanding about hypnosis. The emails and phone calls seemed to weigh in with that opinion. A 20 to 1 in favor of our silliness. So, you can decide. You can laugh if you have a sense of humor. Here is the link: http://97xonline.com/morningx/

One more benefit for me, my nephew called my husband. He wasn’t expecting to hear his aunt first thing in the morning. He was laughing at his aunt and probably relieved I’m not his mom! My poor kids, he he!

On The Radio

Written by: Debbie

I can’t help but hear the Donna Summers song ringing in the back of my head:

They said it on the air
On the radio
Whoa, oh, oh
On the radio
Whoa oh oh oh
On the radio
Whoa, oh, oh
On the radio
Whoa, oh, oh

I got a call from a top radio station in my area, they’ve asked me to hypnotize the local morning DJ’s this Thursday! Just for fun, although one of them has a goal in mind for helping his life. Perhaps I can teach the listening audience how to reduce stress. It is the station my son listens to and he will be home from school as he has no exams that day. Knowing he will be listening is more pressure than any other audience member!

I plan on keeping it clean, yet creating fun. (After all, my mother lives nearby, don’t want to mortify her too much!) I’ll let you know how it goes! It will air on Thursday, January 17th from 8:00am until 9 am, at least that is what they tell me…….

Perhaps you will want to listen in and understand the trials and tribulations of my son(s) better. (Any letters of sympathy can be sent to: [email protected] and I will be sure to forward them).

Perhaps you are a supporter of mothers who dreamt of better things for their daughters and will want to listen in and tell Mumsy there is still hope. (You can write to the same address, those will also be forwarded.)

Maybe, just maybe, you are actually interested in hearing the fun and frivolity we hope to create.

Whatever the motivation, join us at: http://97xonline.com/
click on the on air broadcast and you will be able to join in the fun!

DebbieDona