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Last night was the big annual event for WIN (Women In Networking) in Pinellas County, FL. The net proceeds were to go to Healthy Start Coalition of Pinellas County and The American Cancer Society. I am excitedly waiting to hear how much money was raised. It had to be a good amount as the place was packed! There were so many vendors I was unable to visit them all.

My talk was so much fun to give. I had a room full of energetic listeners and we laughed all the way through it. I did not do anything for luck, but practice and allow myself to feel calm and centered. Imagine that?!

I attended a workshop on blogging, Tina Williams was the presenter. She had some great information, now all I need is the time to digest it and apply what I learned. The one thing she did convince me of, I am now active with Twitter. I had been signed up, but never bothered to find out anything more. (I had really signed on to be polite to a friend.) Wow! I have even been tweeted!

Well, time to head back to the office. I just wanted to keep my promise and let you know how the talk went. Tomorrow, back on track with superstitions and fears. “Til then: tweet, tweet!

This week is shaping up to be a wonderful week. I have the opportunity to speak at the WIN Symposium tomorrow evening. The Symposium is an annual event, held by Women In Networking, where women can network, attend workshops and visit a variety of exhibitors to find ways of improving their opportunities. Net proceeds benefit the Healthy Start Coalition of Pinellas County and The American Cancer Society. It promises to be quite interesting, I have certainly enjoyed it in years past.

Now, I was with a group of friends on Saturday night and mentioned the Symposium. One of the gentlemen told me to “break a leg”. This made us all laugh, but it also helped to remind me that part of this month’s theme is superstitions. So, I want to reassure you that I will not be carrying a rabbits foot with me, wearing any lucky charms or keep salt in my pocket during the talk. I will however, look into the eyes of my audience, speak to them from my heart and have a wonderful time sharing what I have to offer, in the hopes that my information will help someone walk away feeling just a little bit better about themselves.

As I always do, I will use a little bit of self-hypnosis to calm and center myself before I speak. I hope to have audience participation, it is more fun that way. When they leave, I hope that new affirmations have been created by each attendee, that will take them through the next few days, weeks and months into a journey of fun and discovery. It is my goal that each person feels more self empowered as well. I’ll let you know how it goes!

This week I had a gentleman come into my office to quit smoking. Now, this is someone whom I know from another aspect of my life. He has known me for many years and we have always been cordial. He has never known me to harm anyone. Yet, his hands shook as he filled out the paperwork. He was terrified of what he was about to experience.

I am not quite sure what he thought I could/would do to him, but it sure was evident that he was giving me all the power over him. So, we spent some time discussing hypnosis and all the myths surrounding it. I was able to explain to him that he was in control, not me. Eventually, he relaxed and took back his power. After our time together, he left my office, smoke free and very happy.

His first comment as he came out of trance was how different it felt, how time seemed to change. He wasn’t sure how long he had been in my office, it felt like forever and then again like he had just walked in. Either way, he was hooked! I was happy to give him the audio I have for my smokers and promised him the audio of our session as well.

In honor of this gentleman, the writing I am doing on fears and the fact that it is Friday, I leave you with a video that I just love.

I have written about this fear before. My friend Brenda had a fear of public speaking that she overcame through one hypnotic session. It has made a big difference for her in her career since then. She stands before groups and keeps them enthralled with her talks.

The fear of public speaking is considered to be the number one fear people suffer from, even more than the fear of death! Three out of every four individuals has such a fear, that is 75% of the population.

This fear knows no boundaries of sex, race, class or anything else you can imagine. Ironically, the audience wants the speaker to succeed.

And yet…..

We perceive the audience as the enemy. We have visions of the audience waiting to pounce on our every word, find our faults, shine a light on our weaknesses.

I once was that fear filled person. I hated being called upon in class, hated giving speeches or even being noticed! Now, I teach at conventions, speak anywhere and everywhere I am invited and make appearances on television on a regular basis. I know the fear, I know the thrill of overcoming it.

Think about the freedom you could have if you were to overcome a fear of public speaking.


We are taking a break from our regularly scheduled fear and phobia articles to bring you this timely and important message.

My friend, BadEvan is conducting a Halloween Costume contest. The contest is being sponsored by Buycostumes.com. The prize is $500. That’s right, $500 for your costume should you be the lucky winner. Now, I know my readers can dig down deep into their creative subconscious mind and find the perfect costume idea. All you have to do is get a picture of your costume and send it to BadEvan and then wait for the judges to decide who wins. The details are found at BadEvan’s site.

Here’s the most important part of this contest. I was asked to be a judge and I was told that bribes are allowed! Shoes make me happy folks, so I am imagining a whole new closet being built, just for those shoes. Send them my way and sway my vote. (Or not, but definitely one of the two!)

Fear. Fear of not being enough.

Often I have clients who come to see me about their careers as well as personal lives. They are “stuck”. Things may be going well, but they can’t seem to get it to the next level. Worse still, they have the opportunity to move forward, but fear holds them back. What if they are not good enough? What if they are a fraud? What if another person finds out?! What if the opportunity really is too good to be true, after all they don’t deserve it, do they?

I tell a client at a time like this to ask themselves, “Is it too good to be true for anybody, or just too good to be true for you?” If your best friend or co-worker had this opportunity, would it be too good for them? Why is it that we see so much more worthiness for our family, friends, and co-workers than we do for ourselves?

First of all, perhaps it is time to give yourself some compassion. Take time to see yourself through the eyes of one who loves you. You may be the world to another, stop and think how they see you. Wouldn’t they see you as good enough for this opportunity?

Next, stop comparing yourself to others. You have your own set of abilities, talents and even quirks that make you the very individual you are. There is no one who is perfect, so get off your back! Your quirks are a part of you and unless they cause harm to yourself or another, let them be for now! Just focus on enjoying the experience of life.

I will take a client through a hypnotic experience of who they are and allow them to see themselves through the eyes of another who loves them. I will also guide them through an experience the way they imagine a hero or mentor would experience it. It is amazing the confidence that they can then go forward into the new opportunity with!

Start cheering yourself onward. After all, if not you, then who?

The Phantom of the Opera is an all time favorite of mine. Whenever the show is on tour around here, I do my best to see it. I have the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical cd, that blares in my car as obnoxiously as a teen listening to their music. I have seen the 1925 silent film (presented at a beautiful theater complete with an organist who rises from below the stage like magic) and the Lon Chaney version as well. (I posted this earlier without giving credit as well to the more recent film that included a home town boy Patrick Wilson as Raoul!)

So much can be said about the subconscious mind and the labyrinth where the Phantom lives. The fear of being discovered, the fear of the unknown all represented here. I could go on and on about Freudian mother/father, life/death issues and the politics of the period that Gaston Leroux wrote the original novel.

But alas, this is Friday and I just want to entertain you. So enjoy these moments of fear!

How I overcame Ophidiophobia or a fear of snakes.  Snakes were never my favorite animal. In fact, I really didn’t like them for most of my younger years. Then something happened to change that dislike into fear. Not just a little afraid, not just, “oh my goodness they scare me” afraid, we are talking overwhelming and completely irrational FEAR! I couldn’t own an “S” encyclopedia fear. I had to leave a pet store that had snakes anywhere in the building. If a snake appeared on the television screen, I had to leave the room afraid. Zoos were painful, because I knew at any moment there would be the inevitable snake exhibit.

What caused this fear? Well, looking back, it was silly school age pranks. I was on a camping trip with my science class. This was an annual trip, that promised to be a great adventure. On one of the days of the trip, the teachers broke the group up into smaller groups and took us tramping through the woods to learn all about nature. We observed moss growing to identify directions, edible versus poisonous plants, we even took water samples from the nearby streams to take back to the lab at the camp site for testing. We felt scientific, grown up, curious and smug.

Then, our young and relatively inexperienced leader (it was her first year teaching) realized that we were lost. That’s right, we could not follow our steps back to the campground. So, we formed a circle and began to call as a group for help. The teacher had contact by walkie talkie, but they couldn’t pinpoint where we were. We called and called, no avail. There was a plate on the ground nearby that looked to me like it might be valuable. (My mother collected antique glassware and I think I was looking for a diversion.) So, I went over, picked up the plate and with that, the coiled rattle snake started hissing and shaking it’s tail.

I screamed at the top of my lungs! The search group found us immediately! The snake never attacked and all was fine. Until that night. The group was rounded up for our nature lecture and the teachers decided to talk about snakes. The boys in the group found this great fun, as I was still a bit squeamish. On the way back to our tents, they giggled in delight as they yelled snake at every turn, pointing up into trees, down on the pathway, everywhere. I survived the trek back and prepared to get into my sleeping bag.

Well, the boys had concocted a plan. They had found a non-poisonous snake earlier in the day and left me a little surprise in the bag. It took every staff member present to keep me sane and alive.

The teachers decided when we returned to school the following week that they would teach more about snakes, to help take the mystery and fear out of the situation. A snake handler was brought in. He lectured and brought some friendly snakes in for us to meet. I went into shock. Everyone was asked to come up and touch the snake. I froze. When the bell rang, I still had not touched that thing. He put the snake down on the floor, so I would have to walk past it. I sat on the table in front of me and started to rock back and forth. It was not going to happen.

I carried this fear forward for many years of my life. It kept me from enjoying kayak rides, golfing anything where the possibility of a snake existed. I began to realize just how much this fear limited me. Further more, when my sons came along, I became aware that boys like snakes. I couldn’t let my fears become theirs nor could I give two creative young men such an easy tool against their poor old mom!

So, I needed to employ the techniques of neuro-lingusitic programming and self hypnosis. I allowed myself to go back in my thoughts as the adult me to revisit the original fear inducing events. I observed them and reminded that frightened child that I was able to survive, proof of that was the adult me today. I gave myself permission to have a healthy respect for snakes, eliminated the need for gripping fear.

Next, I changed my thoughts and words about snakes. I stopped defining myself as a person who was afraid of snakes. Instead, I began to affirm that snakes had a significant purpose on this planet and I was curious about how they helped our eco-system. I began to think of snakes as much more frightened of me than I was of them and even told myself I could have compassion for them because I understood fear.

I began to get pictures of snakes and look at them, imagining how they might feel. Next, I visited a pet store that had snakes and went into the room where they were kept. On my second such visit, I asked the store owner if I could touch one. It felt smooth, not slick. I actually giggled at this! I have since held huge pythons, felt them move around my arms and even my shoulders. I have thought of them as cute! I drew the line at owning a snake, I can’t/won’t deal with the feeding issues.

I recently was poolside at a local club when a native black snake wandered by. There was a tourist there, who was terrified. She called to me to warn me that there was a snake in the vicinity. I smiled and continued what I was doing, until I observed her fear. So, I got up and steered the snake away, in another direction. She was relieved, I felt empowered!

I have had clients come to my office with this same fear. For me, this is a great session to have. I love the freedom that comes with overcoming a fear of snakes.

This month is Halloween month. Around my neighborhood, the decorations are already being put outside. Some are lovely, fall themed displays. Some are cutesy Halloween ornaments. Then there are the decorations of the scary nature. For obvious reasons (I believe) scary becomes a theme during this time of year. So, it seemed appropriate that I take some time this month to discuss fears, phobias and superstitions.

These are scary times for many of us. The value of the dollar in the US seemingly plummets with every day right now. Jobs, even bad ones, seem precious. Homes have for sale signs all around. This can allow us to become paralyzed with fear. If you are a small business owner, as I am, it is easy to focus on the negative warnings of the news media and fear, then become paralyzed, unable to make any clear cut business decisions. America’s financial crisis is fueling chronic stress and limiting some people’s ability to think clearly, control emotions and regulate bodily functions in a healthy manner.

Now, in fact, is the time to take control of emotions. We can better regulate the mind-body stress responses. It is important to understand that there is productive worry and unproductive worry. Productive worry is thinking about situations in which you can take control and using those thoughts to conceive pro-active behaviors. Use productive worry to help you create a plan for taking actions that will reduce your stress. Unproductive worry is stinking thinking, focusing over and over on situations over which you have no control. Allowing that worry to create adverse reactions in your body.

Using productive worry, you can create budgets, eliminate unnecessary extras and come up with creative ways to make saving a family affair. As a business owner, return to basics, what has worked in the past? What does your business offer that makes you special? Who is your customer, what are their concerns? The same thing applies to you as an employee, what are your best attributes?

Perhaps you want to list those qualities for yourself, as a reminder. I am a big believer in making lists. Focus on yourself (or your business) and begin to list all those qualities that make you special. When you take those thoughts from the abstract to the concrete by putting them in writing, they become yours at a deeper level. You own them!

While it is a good thing to remain informed, take a break from the news. Rather than watching, reading and following every pundit’s thoughts on what is going on, go for a walk with the dog, read a good book or enjoy a moment of self hypnosis. Visualize yourself someplace happy and safe, filled with the memories of calm, serene moments.

Stay connected with your friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself from your support systems. Be sure to pay attention to loved ones and keep involved in your daily routines. Enjoy social occasions. Play!

Stress and worry take a physical toll, so be sure to use self hypnosis for relaxation of the body as well as the mind. Remember to breathe! Your breathe is always with you, breathe deep.

It has been said over and over that stress causes us to hold onto extra weight. Whether it is the result of emotional over eating, elevated cortisol which causes our metabolism to slow down while our appetite doesn’t, it makes the battle for weight management a real battle. Stress also affects our aging processes. In adults, telemeres shorten with age, this stress-related shortening of the telemeres correlates with aging, corresponding to 9-17 years.

It seems as thought every day I am hearing from clients, friends and even strangers in the gorcery stores how stressed they are. There are many factors that produce these feelings prevelant in our daily lives. The price of food, housing and gasoline contiues to rise. Jobs are threatened in many industries. The media cries out the woes of our times continually. On and on it seems to go.

I cannot solve the issues that many of us our plagued with. I wish I could. What I can do, is listen when friend needs to be heard. I can share a smile or a laugh with a stranger. I can keep myself in order, the best ways I know how.

For me, keeping in order includes daily exercise. I enjoy the clearing of my head that exercise creates, the release of endorphins and the muscle fatigue that leads to peace after a good work out. Yesterday, I rode my bike along a nearby beach causeway. I rode hard against the wind and enjoyed the freedom when the wind was at my back. I pushed myself a little harder, with the intent of stretching myself.

Another way I keep myself together is to use neurolingusitic programing on myself. I noticed the thoughts I had and created ways to turn them into positive affirmations or desires. I became an observer. My husband commented on how I seemed to see so much on our ride. I noticed a tiny little snake, a baby who crossed our paths and a rabbit who peared out from the bushes along the trail. I saw a couple linked in a romantic embrace, back from a ride on their kayaks. I watched a sailboat pick up speed and almost seem to fly.

All of those moments reminded me how rich my life is. I live in an amazing paradise, filled with opportunities to smile, relax and enjoy. I can continue a treadmill pace to keep up with all that life will throw at me, or I can take a moment and enjoy what life has waiting for me in it’s treasure trove.

I use my self hypnosis to relax and visualize the life I desire. My life may have stepping stones along the way, I don’t know of a life that doesn’t. I am happy that I have been given the tools I have to create my life. I enjoy when I can share those with others.

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