Personal Justice

Written by: Debbie

I enjoyed yesterday’s post by P.W. and really appreciate her contribution. What she wrote encouraged more thoughts on my part about seemingly unjust situations that have occurred in my life. Even if I decide to let it go, do I really? Do I just move on, without another thought or do I harbor some ill feelings towards the other person?

I would love to tell you that St. Debbie, smiles, shines it on and all is forgiven in her perfect little world. I would also like to tell you that my home is as full of gold as Donald Trump’s. Neither of those statements represent the facts. However, I am working on both of them.

I will do my best in the moment to make the choice to remain calm and patient. I act “as if” the behavior is not offensive. Then, when the time is appropriate, I will take a quiet moment to think through the event. Removing emotions, just noticing what the events were, I can determine what the lesson in that moment was for me. Why did I allow it to bother me, was there something in me that owned the hurt at a deeper level? Was there a behavior I could change to prevent these types of things from happening again?

Imagine taking a negative moment and making it neutral. Then allow yourself to notice all the facts about it, just facts. Notice the lessons for yourself in that moment. Who would you be if those lessons were a part of your life? How would you change your behaviors? How might you feel differently? What would improve in your life if those changes occurred?

Think of someone you now who has the behaviors that you desire. Imagine them in the same circumstances. Allow that person to show you, in your imagination how to feel the same way, filled with strength and inner peace. Breathe in those feelings, really make them a part of your very core. Then relax. Go on about your day, looking forward to opportunities to be that strong, calm person that you deserve to be!

Just in case anyone is interested in helping me match the gold in my home to Donald Trump’s, email me and I will tell you where to send it!

And Justice for All

Written by: Debbie

I have had the fantastic privilege of meeting today’s guest blogger through a social networking site. This woman has a genuine quality about her that instantly shines through her. I was drawn to her gentle wisdom. I am honored she agreed to contribute today. So, without further ado, here is an article by P.W. Dowdy:

P.W. Dowdy found at Gather.com

Life possesses an in-built share of unfairness.

Someone blames us for a wrong we see ourselves incapable of committing. An unsuspecting attack by an officemate embarrasses us before peers. With a cavalier attitude, a neighbor dismisses frequent and unauthorized borrowing from our tool shed.

How dare Harry lay all the responsibility of raising the children on me and then blame me for their every mistake. Shelley should have pulled me aside and then pointed out the need to expand that section of the report. Who does she think she is, putting me down in front of the whole team? The Johnsons have moved borrowing to the next level. Couldn’t they occasionally ask first?

In the aftermath of offense, which one of us has not permitted such thinking to flood our mind? Still, it is one thing to have such thoughts, while quite another to act out their bidding.

Beyond becoming angry, beyond submerging ourselves in hurt, beyond getting even when someone wrongs us, are there other ways to arrive at fairness in such instances?

The answer to this question lies in that of another. What do we hope to achieve by redressing negative circumstances in the first place?

Is it our wish to make offenders angry as they have angered us? Do we desire to hurt as we have been hurt? Or, should the attitude be to displace their wrongdoings with responsible win-win resolutions?

When we chose the first two intents, we seek not justice but revenge. Revenge instigates greater anger, more hurt, and a host of swapped wrongs. Both motives seem hardly the breeding ground for establishing justice between two people at odds with each other.

Would we seek revenge had we not been hurt? Would we be hurt had we not been angered? Would we have become angry, had we possessed the objectivity that life’s highway has its share of inconvenient bumps?

So how do we learn to make allowances for those who offend us? How do we learn to move past the overreaction of getting even when unfairly treated? The pain of an injustice often makes a decision of patience easier suggested than accomplished. Hence, choosing to make allowances at the first sight of anger can become the best starting place.

The operative word here is choosing. Choosing the daily higher plane of making allowances for another’s inappropriateness frees us from wronging the offender in return. Choosing to respond instead with patience leaves us at peace with not only the offender—but with ourselves. The choice rarely comes easily but it is a doable choice, and its ensuing justice is well worth the effort.

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

It is wonderful when a weekend can be used for revitalization. That is just what this weekend was for me. Friday evening was pleasant and relaxed. Saturday, I spent time with a long time friend relaxing poolside at Innisbrook. We chatted about everything, if you are one of the people who had a chair besides us, I apologize for our constant chatter while you slept in the sun. (However, you must admit, we did solve all of the problems of the world in one afternoon!) Sunday was a surprise birthday party for a neighbor of mine.

The party was fabulous, everyone there really enjoyed themselves and the guest of honor was really surprised and delighted. I must digress a moment in order to tell you how she had tried to share her birthday news earlier. I live in a neighborhood where many residents own golf carts and weekends are spent riding from one house to another socializing. Well, my neighbor had been out on Saturday night with her boyfriend, visiting as they do, and would mention her birthday was coming up. One person after another seemed to answer with a brief, “oh that’s nice, well, happy birthday.” Then change conversation. You could sense her disappointment. Therefore, what fun to see her arrive to the yells of “SURPRISE!” as he children and grandchildren covered her in silly string!

During the course of the party, one gentleman was assisting a young mother in getting the children and all the contraband that goes with that, loaded into the car. The car door closed before he managed to save his pinky finger on one of his hands. He came back into the party looking ashen. He was clearly in pain. Someone got him a bag of ice and he began to ice the finger, but oh his pain! Although nothing was broken, he was gong to have quite a bruise. I asked him to begin to breathe deeply and slowly. He did. Then I asked him to close his eyes and begin to notice how cool the ice felt on his finger, how soothing that coolness felt. Then begin to focus on the amount of pain he had, give it a size in his mind. Next, begin to dissolve the size of the pain slowly, breaking it up and allowing the pain to become smaller and smaller as the coolness of the ice became more and more soothing. Now, he was to imagine the finger healing and restoring itself, sending signals of comfort to the finger and back to the brain. Relax, relax, allow this to be real, as real as is possible.

Suddenly his eyes popped open with a look of surprise. (I gulped.) He looked at me and said, “Hey, this really works! What you just did works! I feel better!” He laughed, I relaxed and everyone went on with the party.

Speaking of parties, I promised to post more about the Entrecard party today.

Three are 200+ possible winners, with a total value in prizes set at over $7000 and for the ECards users, exactly 66,666ec (”ec” = Entrecard Credits)!!!

This is how Marcus says you can enter to win:

Here is how to enter the party contest and belong to the lucky winners…

Subscribe to the Hochstadt.com Blog Announcement List (see the sign-up field in the top right hand corner of this page, right below my image? Yup, there it is.) Not only does it bring you 2 points but I may send you a cool gift when you do 🙂 – 2 Points
Post a comment to this blog post – 1 Point (one point per person)
Stumble and digg about this contest and fav me on Technorati – 1 Point respectively
Use the below party contest image(s) on your site (linking to this party contest) – 2 Points
Write about this blog and this Hochstadt.com Party Contest on your blog, linking to both this blog and the Hochstadt.com Party Contest. Use your own wording, one that fits to your audience. (It shall be easy because the above prizes fit to ALL audiences!) – 10 Points
Write about this blog and this contest on your blog, AND link to ALL contributors (just like you see my list above including all the prizes) – 30 Points
*PSSST* When you write about this contest on your blog it may be a good idea you indicate which of the above prizes you would like to win most. Perhaps Santa is listening and your wish comes true, who knows… 😉

Hint: Use the same e-mail address and Web site’s URL when performing the above contest actions. That way, I will be able to track your entries. 😉

Draw of the winners will be held on MAY 1st!

Go check it all out (remember I am giving away a phone consultation and 7 Living The Lucky Life Audios). http://www.hochstadt.com/its-the-hochstadtcom-party-contest

So friends, Party On!

Friday Silliness

Written by: Debbie

My goodness! That is all I can say her right now, is my goodness! It has been the day of all days in those little ways that can drive a hypnotist crazy. Thank heavens, I know a good hypnotist who can help me elevate my mood. What perfect timing for my Friday Silliness.

Perhaps you have noticed the little icon on my sidebar that showcases the blog of the day. It is related to a great little community of bloggers called Entrecard. I have made some great friends through this group. Unfortunately, at this moment, one of them is an endodontist from Canada who decided to pull me into the fray between himself and Canucklehead, another blogger from Canada. (Too many knocks in the head from stray hockey pucks, I’m guessing.) They will be the recipients of my years of experience in the revenge method of parenting!

Bottom line, to you my readers, I have been asked to participate in something called a meme. When I get this crud in emails, I generally delete them. Unless, of course, it is sent from my mother. Then I answer it as sarcastically, using as much gutter talk as is possible. She is delighted, thinking her daughter has sent another loving note from the heart.

The rules of this garbage are as follows:

The Rules:

Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’ve been tagged, and to read your blog.

Here is my response to this:

8 Random Facts About Me

1. I believe I am responsible for the collapse of the Skyway Bridge on May 9, 1980.
Allow me to explain: The year before I survived a flood on May 8th. (mentioned in my blog yesterday.) I held my first annual flood party on May 8 1980. Amongst the silly activities, we held a rain dance. It worked, Summit Venture hit the Skyway, I stopped rain dancing for the rest of my life.

2. My favorite film is Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times. This is my favorite scene from the film:

3. I love to read so much that my husband will hide books before a party, so that I don’t sneak them in and hide in a corner during the party to finish just one more chapter.

4. I once stood actually speechless in an elevator because I was the only person in it with Stevie Nicks. I couldn’t think of anything to say, not even hello.

5. I haven’t eaten meat since the 70’s based on a twenty dollar bet. When B. Fussell pays up, I will eat meat again.

6. I once held the title of Miss Coppertone.
No, I am not the kid with her bottom exposed by a dog.

7. I hate shopping so much that when I married, I registered at only one store much to the chagrin of my new in-laws. The store was Home Depot.

8. I had an attack rooster as a pet when I was growing up. He wouldn’t let anyone in the back yard except me or unless they were accompanied by me (or Mom).

According to the rules, I am supposed to tag 8 people. Sorry folks, I won’t play there. Call me a party pooper, I don’t send emails that promise big bucks from Bill Gates either. I will tell you, I list blogs that I like, as I view them and I will continue to do so. Furthermore, I have been invited to join in on a blog party that includes some pretty cool gifts. For more information on that, visit:

It’s The Hochstadt.com Party Contest!

There are some pretty cool give aways, including a free phone session from yours truly! I will write more about that next blog, until then, happy Friday!

Gratitude

Written by: Debbie

I want to take a moment to remind you how important gratitude is. It is another way to change that old stinking thinking, when things seem to be difficult. A client stopped by my office with a beautiful orchid and a dragonfly statue as her way of saying thank you. I felt humbled and thanked her for her thoughtfulness. I received an invitation in the mail today for a special luncheon, ladies only, a time to share our gratitude for our blessings. The hostess holds these luncheons each year to express her gratitude to the women in her life who she feels thankful for. My dear friend and web lady took me out for lunch today, sushi! (She knows how to get to my heart.)

It is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of our days. Even more so, to hold a pity party for ourselves when things don’t seem to be going according to plan. But, if we take a moment to reflect on what is good in our lives, often it is far more than what is wrong. In fact, given time, there are negatives that turn into positives.

I lived through a flood that destroyed the apartment complex I was living in at the time. Many of the residents were deaf, so my sign language came in handy. It also meant that we were the last people to be evacuated. We floated out in boats next to alligators and water moccasins, riding above our cars on the water. It could/should have been devastating. Or so I was told. However, out of that situation I was able to live rent free for the few months I needed to get a down payment on my first home! The apartment complex was insured and they have rehabilitated into a much nicer complex.

I am grateful for my sons, my husband and even my first husband! (Number one has been a great father to the boys and a super Ex! He pays child support on time, in full and throws extras the kids way!) My current husband dances with shopping carts in the grocery store and makes me laugh until I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I am grateful that my parents are still alive and they live near by enough to see us frequently, far enough to not be under foot! (I bet I catch it for that one!) The list goes on, but, my time is limited, as I am back off to my office.

Take a moment and reflect on your life. What are you grateful for? Please leave a comment or two and share. Perhaps we will all begin to see what is right in our lives.

p.s. I just got back from my office. My last client of the day has recently returned from a trip to her native India. She brought me the most beautiful hand made purse from there. I’m really liking this gratitude stuff!

Let It Go……

Written by: Debbie

We are told to “let it go”, to stay in the moment. Everyone and their brother is touting The Secret or The Law Of Attraction or even The Power Of Positive Thinking. So much is said about attracting what we think about, that our circumstances are the result of past thoughts. This advice is everywhere and for many it is almost a punishment, a creator of guilt.

April is National Anxiety Month. My clients, many of them, don’t need just a month to be aware of anxious feelings. They could fill a calendar year with stories of moments that produce those feelings. Just last night, I had a client visit with me who is a big believer in “what you think, you attract”. (We will call her Dorothy for our purposes here.) Dorothy has created dream boards, used affirmations and visualized positive changes in her life. Still, her life has given her an unexpected twist. She was becoming paralyzed in fear. She had an overwhelming sense of doom in regards to this particular situation.

Dorothy asked me, “I know I am supposed to stay in the now, but how?” For most of us, it is a tennis match in our mind. The good thoughts get returned with fear, back and forth. Think a good though, fear creeps in. Try to push fear away, it takes grip. Try harder to push it back, it takes an even stronger hold, all consuming, mind numbing, thought controlling. The fear wins.

Add to the feeling of defeat, guilt and finally shame. After all, we are “supposed” to control our own thoughts, thinking only good thoughts. Fear, guilt, shame, the Hat Trick of negativity.

Dorothy looked at me with all sincerity and said, “How do you remain so positive? How do you prevent feelings of fear?” I laughed and replied, “I don’t”. I have my moments of fear and doubt. I am hardwired, just like everyone else I know to go to the negatives. To play the what if game. I have just learned to recognize when it begins, to notice the triggers and to go into action, creating change.

On numerous times, I have written and spoken about the value of humor in any given situation. It is a great tool to have. Another possibility is to change activities. Exercise is a great
de stressor, thought re arranger. I have solved and resolved many issues when out for a brisk walk or bike ride. The change in scenery allows me to change my perspective, not to mention those feel good brain chemicals that are released through exercise.

I often remind myself to stay in the moment, by taking deep, slow breathes. I ask myself if I am safe in this moment. In this moment, are all my basic needs met? Breathe again. What is right in my life now? What am I grateful for here and now?

I focus on one small change I can make, what would it be? How do I change? How is my perception different in regards to this situation, so that I can allow peace in my life? I know that I am not in control of everything that occurs in my life, nor am I responsible. It is only my perception that I can change, my attitude.

I started writing this early this morning. Life and activities interrupted me and delayed me. I just kept saying, blogging is not my life, it is simply a part of my life. So, while waiting for a client tonight,who was delayed by traffic, I thought I finished what I was meant to post. Thank heavens for heavy traffic. You see, she revealed to me so many miracles and possibilites in my life when she arrived. A dear friend of mine, from 20 years ago, is married to a colleague of hers. I hope to make contact again, with a fabulous, funny individual. Then a former client of mine called with news of changes she was making, that just happen to fit into something I was thinking might be useful in my life. Gee, I wonder if this thought change stuff really works? Do you think I attracted some positive results? Hmmmm…..

Monday Morning Musing….

Written by: Debbie

I belong to a networking group that meets on Fridays. Each meeting, we stand up and introduce ourselves. Each week, three different businesses share a short (5 minute) talk about what the business is about. To better know about the businesses, we are encouraged to make appointments with one another for a brief personal meeting. It is a wonderful group of people, many different professions are involved and all the participants seem to be of a very high caliber.

The Friday before this last one, a woman (I will call her Brenda) stood up to share about her business. She suffered from the single most common phobia, fear of public speaking. It is said to affect as much as 75% of the population. Public speaking is also considered one of the most valuable skills a person can have in business. Well, Brenda was unable to get through the entire 5 minutes of speaking time. She shook visibly and was near tears several times. What was amazing, was that through all of that, she had a tremendous and powerful story to tell. Her business is her passion and her goal is to benefit special needs individuals. Brenda touched my heart.

It was announced at the end of that meeting who the next week speakers were to be. I was one of the speakers. How fortuitous! Some days life just hands you solutions without even having to look. I called Brenda and she agreed to meet with me in exchange for my speech time. We met in my office and had an incredible session regarding public speaking. Brenda was open and receptive to the idea of overcoming her fear. Brenda is bright and charming. We worked together for a few hours. That’s it. One hypnosis session, we recorded. She had one opportunity to listen to the session again before Friday. Brenda left my office saying she felt self empowered.

I arrived on Friday, with great anticipation. How exciting for Brenda to be able to share everything she had told me about her dreams and goals with this group. I just knew when they heard all she hoped to do, they would love her as much as I now did. When I stood up to introduce myself, I did it using sign language as well as speaking. This was to support her upcoming talk. People weren’t sure why, but I tend to go against the norm in that group, so they played along.

I was announced as the first speaker. Brenda stood up, went into the center of the room and asked a powerful question. There were immediate responses. She played with the crowd, creating word pictures and spinning her tale. The group was mesmerized! (She was hypnotic!) Brenda went around the room, making eye contact and drawing everyone in. There was no back ground chatter, she had taken control of this crowd. When she finished her talk, the room burst into applause, giving her a standing ovation. Tears of pride and joy streamed down my face. Brenda had delivered her message and it was received. Imagine the difference for Brenda now that she has this level of confidence making her presentations for her business. Now, that she has the power to make a difference.

I was on a different plain for the rest of the day. It helped to create a great start to my weekend. Now, as I sit here this morning, I wonder, how many opportunities I will be offered this week to experience such amazing change. How many opportunities will you encounter for personal change? Will you take advantage of them the way Brenda did?

Friday Silliness

Written by: Debbie

I know, I know, it is late in the day for me to be posting my Friday silliness. Mea Culpa. Perhaps you will forgive me when you see the following video.

I have said how important humor is to keep your attitude positive. It is also interesting how attitude can accomplish so much. My buddy, Mark Byrne has managed to combine attitude and humor in this production in such a marvelous way. He uses balloons and his tremendous imagination to create laughter and joy everywhere he goes. Trust me, with Mark around, there is no room for stinking thinking. Mark has won several awards and accolades for his work, yet he is the first to reach out and help others. Mark, thanks for being Bad To The Balloon!

For anyone looking for a fun event, visit his website at:

Balloon Guy

Can You Phone Hypnosis In?

Written by: Debbie

I had a new client set up for first thing this morning. We had chatted on the phone when she set up the appointment, and she was truly delightful on the phone. However, she was seeing me about her fear of driving distances and arranged to have her husband bring her to my office. She had bragged to many about making this bold step.

I had shared with her the story of another client whose husband delivered her to her first visit. After that, she drove in on her own. With time and a few more sessions, she was going places on her own that she hadn’t thought possible. She was setting up healthy boundaries with her family and friends and she blossomed amazingly. Well, today’s client, I will call her Mary Jane, called me just devastated this morning. Mary Jane had worked herself into such fear, that she couldn’t make the trip to my office. We chatted a few moments and then she asked if I do hypnosis over the phone. Gee, why hadn’t I thought of that, when in fact I do it with out of state clients all the time.

We had a marvelous session. I have talked with her again today (I had to correct an appointment time for the next session) and she said, “I just feel so happy today.” If that doesn’t bring a smile to your face, knowing someone has done the work and and is responding, than what will?

There is a woman in Indiana who calls me on occasion for session work. She changed careers and moved from one state to another after the loss of her mother and a divorce. Obvioulsy stress was a factor in her life. Resulting from that, she was disorganized. She knew her business could be a big one, she just needed to figure out how to get to that place. Three phone calls later, her business is booming, she is in a new relationship and she is at peace with the loss of her mother.

Ben, in Atlanta, calls me for his “booster” every so often. Maurice called me before he took his test for real estate. (He passed!) I have worked with all kinds of people in all kinds of places. I encourage people to find a local hypnotist. There are many good individuals in this field all over. However, when you establish rapport with someone and you feel a connection, often, that is who you want to help you through the process. So, if it is across a distance, thank heavens for phones! Yes, hypnosis can be called in.

Should you want to schedule a sessionwith me by phone, please call my office at: (727) 781 – 8483. I return all calls and will gladly assist you on your path to “Unlock Your Natural Potential”.

Driving Towards Peace

Written by: Debbie

On my Monday post, I received a comment from a reader asking if hypnosis can help her with her driving anxiety. In short, the answer is yes. I know personally about this, because I have experienced the same thing. Please allow me to explain.

Many years ago, I had a job that required a lot of driving. I thought nothing of it, in fact, I loved it! Over the years I have driven with my sons on trips out of state. I enjoyed those trips and felt very comfortable. Then, suddenly, as if out of no where, I began to hate driving distances. Next I began to hate driving on busy highways and the Interstate. Finally, I began to hate even riding with another driver on busy roads. This was all last year.

There was a convention I was planning on attending for the International Association of Counselors and Therapists. It was being held in Miami, across the state from where I lived. I put off making reservations, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get there. I thought seriously about flying in and taking a cab to the hotel. I thought seriously about not attending. Very seriously.

Robert Otto, the President and CEO of IACT called me to remind me I had not made my reservations. He was quite insistent that I attend. He told me there was someone I had to meet. Quite reluctantly, I made my reservations for the conference. I knew that I would learn so much once I attended and I was curious who I was to meet. (Robert wouldn’t tell and that was driving me crazy!)

How was I going to get to the conference? I couldn’t admit to my colleagues that I was afraid to drive there. They would laugh at me, or would they? Perhaps they would tell me to get hypnosis for this fear. What was that thought? Hypnosis for fear? Hypnosis for driving? Could I have found an answer?

I asked a colleague of mine to give me a session for my driving fears. One session, that’s all. I was so embarrassed to ask, yet she never flinched. We did the session. I realized what the real reason was that I had developed this fear. It was totally unrelated to the actual drive. We then created suggestions for driving with confidence and awareness.

I asked a friend of mine to go to Miami with me. (Back up, just in case?) I drove the whole trip, and drove into a strange city and it was easy! I actually enjoyed it. I have a convertible and we drove with the top down, even when it rained at one point! We had a great time, she is a good traveling companion.

Well, the night of the banquet, awards were being given out. I lost a ticket and so I wasn’t going to go to the banquet without my buddy. Those in charge of the conference insisted it was fine, just attend. We did. The awards were being announced and it was a fun evening. Then Robert Otto began to talk about an award for the Hypnotist of the Year. As he began describing this person, I thought about how it must feel to be that person. Suddenly, I heard my name called. I looked around, unsure of why. Robert was calling my name, I was that person! I burst into tears and I must admit everything after that was a blur. The person he wanted me to meet, was me!

I am still honored and in shock. I am delighted that I overcame my fear of driving through hypnosis. I think this is the first time I have shared my little secret. (I hope they don’t want the award back now.) I just want to share that my colleagues are some of the most incredible and caring people in the world. Call your local hypnotist if you have fears to overcome. Hypnosis works and hypnotists love their work!

p.s. This year (May 14 -20) I am giving a couple of talks and a workshop on my Love Potion Number 9 at the convention. I will gladly drive to Daytona (where it is being held to see so many of my friends again.) I also look forward to Dan Cleary, Michael Watson, Gerald Kein and Michael Ellner to name just a few of the very wise individuals who will be speaking and teaching. Here is a link to the convention:

http://www.iact.org/conference.php

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Draw of the winners will be held on MAY 1st!