In keeping with the theme of Play, this song just seemed right.
However, I must add the caveat, forget the light a cigarette line and breathe in joy, instead!
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I decided while in college that a life without structure was one doomed to mishaps and blunders. Program your work, I told myself, and then work your program. By the end of my freshman year, I had begun to schedule my time with great sufficiency. Graduating three years later, the scheme appeared to have worked.
The adage that if it is not broken, you should not fix it, locked into my thinking. It felt only natural when I began my professional life to re-engage those means, which had managed my time in college. Again, affording me great organization in most of my career choices, the “always-schedule” approach lasted for years.
Perhaps due to the turmoil of our present day economy, or the number of natural disasters worldwide lately or maybe because I am just getting older and wiser.—my attitude toward time utilization changed. I cannot explain why it happened. It became not only important that I maintained goals in life, but that I include play in those goals.
The idea seemed risky at first. Years of a self-imposed straightjacket of work, work, and work–sought to undermine my intentions.
“You are not serious about this juvenile behavior, are you?” my straightjacket self wanted to know. The fraternal twin, Guilt and Disrepute gave her an Amen!
I would not hear them out. Instead, to welcome my newfound appreciation for play, I immediately took off my shoes and went outside to walk barefoot in the rain. A sheer pleasure, in which I had not engaged since a child.
That night, my straightjacket self apologized for over-reacting and causing me to do such a rebellious thing. She said, “Unlike the subconscious mind, the conscious part of me occasionally makes mistakes.”.
Gently, I nodded.
“I’m glad we had this little talk. No real harm done.” She smiled. Emitting a kind of smugness.
Early, the next morning, I phoned Janet. Overwhelmed by a schedule of her own, she right away supported the notion that we take the whole day off and head for Venice Beach.
“Why not? What is the point of living in LA if you don’t occasionally get the chance to breathe a little ocean air?” Janet clicked off her cell phone in glee.
Around seven, after setting the dishwasher, my scheduling self sat me down for a yet a second talk. “Is this getting out of hand, do you think? You bring home dinner from a deli because you spent all day gabbing with Janet?”
Properly upbraided, I opened my laptop and effortlessly wrote the next 10 pages to my novel. Then with all those ocean-charged ions still floating in my brains, I went to bed and slept like a baby. When I read my novel entry next day, I found that the 10 pages needs very little editing.
Oh my gosh, I was on to something. The more I played—was my writing getting better?
Hearing my thinking, my scheduling self objected in hasty rebuttal.
“Don’t you dare!” she uncompromisingly declared. “Don’t even think I’ll let you get away with such childishness again.”
I kept a straight face.
Close to a year has passed since the day Janet and I bummed around in the ocean’s wave while forgetting most of what comprised our equally demanding To Do lists. Now, play is what we take time to do now–every chance that we can.
Mind you, we still accomplish the items on our To Do lists. In fact, we write play into out lists. For me, the balance achieved by including such energy-producing sessions in my life makes all the difference in the world.
Even my subconscious self seems content with the change. I don’t know how, but in the acceptance of my new agenda, she managed to lose her straightjacket. One day at the pier, both of us enjoying a window-shopping stroll with Janet, our menacing tyrant dropped her whip and just left. Five points for play, zero for a stress-filled existence.
About two weeks ago, I was playing in the forum on Entrecard. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a community of bloggers that has been great fun and support for me. The link at the side of my blog that says Featured Site of the Day is a part of what Entrecard offers. Various bloggers ask to advertise on your site, for a variety of reasons. (The forums are filled with discussions as to each person’s recipe for success!)
I digress.
The morning that found me playing in the forums, also found me a cup short of coffee. So, I started this silly thread about a Mr. Entrecard contest. The idea grew like a wildfire. It was amazing how many of the guy bloggers threw down the gauntlet and how many of the ladies wanted to play in the judging. So, for the last two weeks, I have been the back ground force behind this contest. I reclused myself from the judging and left the emcee job up to a woman with a great sense of humor and a blog that could support such an event.
Questions, created by the judges were sent out to contestants. I sent answers back to judges one question at a time, without their knowledge of who said what. I tallied the votes by assigning numbers to first second and third choice answers. Finally, a winner has been chosen.
During this process, I was able to study human behavior. Most of what I observed was just how wonderful human nature is. These folks made it fun! I must confess, if patience could be bottled and sold, the price would make gas seem free. (I am looking within as much as outward when I state that!)
Our marvelous emcee was Rachel of OddVantage. Go to her site to read how things transpired, leave comments!
The lovely ladies who agreed to judge this were:
Ohio Real Estate
Fragile Heart
Dot Com Mogul
She Lives
Modern Glam
Amy Oops
Fitness Diva
Lucent Dusk
and of course
BadEvan
The contestants were:
Fantasy Baseball
Bullshit Stalker
Superficial Gallery
Asian Economist
Canucklehead
Monkeychapps
Poem of quotes
Roundhouse
Healthy Tips For A Healthy Lifestyle
Thailand Land Of Smiles
Ken Armstrong
Cats with thumbs
Orient Lodge
Beamer
Oblog
It would have been impossible for me to judge, some of these gentlemen have become real friends. I couldn’t possibly pick a favorite. The votes came within half points, they ran so close. These are on heck of a group of people. Badevan kept my spirits up when things got tough.
The second runner up was Aldon of Orient Lodge.
The first runner up was Ken Armstrong Writing Stuff.
The winner and Mr. Entrecard is Acadia of Superficial Gallery.
I will be loading links to my sidebar for the winner as promised. I wish I could load them for every contestant, because you all really deserve it! Thank you all for participating in this frivolity. I hope you know that I have developed crushes on all of you for your great answers and support. I think the judges may have developed some new friendships with a few of their favorites as well.
This is actually more like late Monday afternoon musings. Sometimes life has a way of flowing different than our plotted course. I learned long ago to stop fighting the current at those times and just flow with it.
Thanks to one and all who wished my son a happy birthday. He smiles every time I show him another comment. He won’t admit it, but I know at some level he feels important that even people he doesn’t know wish him well.
This week I have a special post coming up from an author friend of mine. She has posted once before and I hope to have even more from her. Her name is Patricia Dowdy and she is the most gentle soul. I am pleased as can be that she will again be sharing her talents with us.
Have a blessed day and evening one and all. Take a moment in the midst of all that goes on around you to think about something you are grateful for. I know it isn’t always easy to think of such things, some times it feels darn near impossible. But, if you can find just one thing, for that brief moment, you can begin your way to peace again.
Seventeen years ago today, joy and laughter in the form of a child entered my life. My youngest, my “baby” boy. This young man has taught me many lessons through out his life. He has always had the best smile ever and is quick to laugh. He goes out of his way to help me laugh as well.
My s
on, Todd, has a blood condition called spherocytosis. It is a form of anemia that is chronic. When Todd was five years old, he collapsed into my arms. I took him to the doctor’s office. The doctor called the EMT’s and we rode the longest ride of my life, to the hospital. Todd was given blood transfusions. He stayed in the Oncology unit for about a week. I never left his side. Todd’s only concern was making his room mate happy.
One of the side effects, is that the spleen works overtime to remove what “it” perceives as damaged blood cells. This causes the spleen to become enlarged. Almost four years ago, Todd went into the hospital to have his spleen removed. The surgeon informed us after the surgery that his spleen had grown to a size comparable with a regulation football! Furthermore, the surgeon removed two additional spleens. Spleens that probably saved his life. My son never complained.
Since that surgery he has become so much more active and alive! Last year we went through a time where we were concerned he might have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He did not, he doesn’t. A bullet dodged.
Always, my son kept his humor and done his best to help me keep mine. He is a great student, a fine young man and pure joy. His older brother enjoys him and his baby sister lives for his visit to her house. She sings his name constantly, according to her mom and dad!
Happy Birthday Todd!
Recent research has shown that guided relaxation (such as hypnosis) reduced the blood pressure of seniors more than listening to a Mozart sonata did. This is a surprise? It has been my personal experience that although my clients enjoy relaxing music, they may continue to perseverate on their worries if they are not feeling reassured. My job is to help them accomplish this on their own. If they could do it automatically though, they might not be coming into my office in the first place.
When I taught young children, during nap/rest times we would play Mozart. However, some of the children needed the addition of a gentle rub on their back or words of reassurance as they fell to sleep. My sons rested better after a time of comforting from Mom. There are times I need the comfort of a human voice to reassure me.
Therefore, none of this surprises me. What it does do, though is inspire me. Perhaps I shall make arrangements to visit some local nursing homes and volunteer some group sessions for stress relief. I can record these for their later listening relaxation.
What do you think? Any of my local colleagues want to join me?
I have previously posted about a great author I have had the great privilege of knowing, Fawn Germer. Fawn has written several books, I reviewed her most recent book, The New Woman Rules. Well, an earlier book was Hard Won Wisdom, also a must read. Fawn travels the country as a keynote speaker as well. Now, she has started a blog all her own. So, stop by and check out my friend’s blog. Hard Won Wisdom Tell her Debbie sent you!
I also want to thank Vincent Parker of 200 Sacred Words for awarding me with the honor
of the I Love Your Blog Award. Vincent said, “. I chose the following not for a specific type of blog, but for the essence of purpose and their passion about the material they write and present.” That is an honor for sure. Thanks so very much!
I was asked to guest post on another hypnosis blog. The article went live today. It is the story of a client of mine who came to locate money, what he found instead was a deeper truth. That story is posted here: Debbie Lane And The Case Of Sal. The blog is a great hypnosis blog, many of my most respected colleagues have added articles. I recommend the blog for finding information. It is: Hypnosis Information & Articles Blog By Joshua Houghton.
I will be back on track tomorrow. Today, I am taking my friend to the airport so she can take care of the details of saying good bye for one last time to her mother in their home state of Maine.
Today I want to pay tribute to two women. One is my beloved Aunt Joyce.
She recently left us to join her beloved husband (my uncle) in heaven. I miss her very much. She was a beautiful woman, inside and out. She taught me some valuable lessons in my teens. When I was grumbling about my dear mother as teens will do, rather than agree or disagree she pointed out that what I focus on is what I become. Whoa!
My mother has tremendous qualities, she is smart, funny and loyal to a fault. I have my aunt to thank for helping recognize that early on.
I love you Joyce, you will always remain SO Joyce in my heart!
Next, my friend of many, many years lost her mother last week. I cannot imagine, I don’t want to imagine the pain my friend is experiencing. I have tried to be there for her, but I am not her mother. This video is one my friend made of her mother on her last birthday. It is so cute, I wanted to share it. Lorraine, Grammy Yum Yum, I know you are keeping everyone laughing in heaven!
I was asked to appear on Tampabay’s 10 news at 4:00 yesterday, to discuss the blog I posted on emotional eating. Afterwords, I went into an internet chat room provided by the station to continue the discussion. It was a great experience for me. If you want to view the video of the interview, click here: Marty Matthews and Debbie Lane Chat.
I have had the great fortune of working with a local doctor who specializes in weight management. This is his description of what he does: The journey of change starts with an acknowledgment and appreciation of where one is, and a vision of what one desires. My program will provide you with the guidance, support and tools necessary to help you succeed in your life’s journey to a healthier and thinner you….and in the end, help you achieve a new perspective in thought where food is enjoyed and balanced with a healthy lifestyle. ~ Cesar A. Lara, MD
Next, I have created another little video to help me keep my focus on being healthy and in shape. I hope you enjoy it!
Do you grab a bowl of ice cream after a difficult day? Do you crave pizza after hearing great news? Do you find yourself mindlessly munching while doing a rote task? Then you might be an emotional eater.
To some extent, emotional eating is normal. We are taught to eat for emotional reasons rather than physiological reasons at a young age. Fall down and get a boo boo and mommy will give you an ice pop to dry your tears. Celebrate good news with a festive meal. Friends and neighbors bring casseroles and cakes during times of grief and sadness. It becomes a problem when eating becomes our primary coping strategy and our physical or emotional health is affected.
When we eat out of boredom, for instance, our thoughts turn to the food we anticipate and it consumes our attention, temporarily. I recently had a client who told me she ate time away. When angry, we may tear into a crunchy bag of chips, momentarily forgetting what we are angry about. However, when we are finished, we find ourselves feeling guilty and angry with ourselves.
Perhaps, it is easier to be angry at ourselves than at the other person? We know that if we face our anger, disappointment, sadness, etc. we may have to cope with upsets in our lives and relationships. So, we stuff. Then, feeling like a failure for having eaten so much, we once again turn to food to cope. The viscous cycle continues.
How do we stop the cycle of emotional eating? First, we want to recognize whether we are using food as a coping mechanism. Here are some basic signs:
- Sudden hunger as opposed to gradual feelings of hunger. True hunger begins with a slight rumbling in the stomach. An hour later you may recognize the feelings again, stronger and gradually those feelings grow.
- Cravings for specific food. Emotional hunger is above the neck. It starts in the mouth whether desiring a texture (crunch or soft) or a flavor. All thoughts are of food. Real hunger will be satisfied by a variety of foods. You may have certain foods your tastes prefer, but it is not just one item that will satisfy you.
- Eating beyond full. Once the physiological needs are met, signals are sent to the brain, letting us know we are full. Emotional hunger continues to need to fill a void.
- Sneaking food. Hiding and eating snacks, so that others won’t see you.
- Eating when angry, lonely, sad or other strong emotion. Your first reaction to an issue is to snack.
- Ends with guilt. Stuffing food in to comfort, then feeling guilty afterwords.
Once these signs are recognized and you have identified that you are an emotional eater, what do you do? How do you break the cycle? To begin with, you want to become a mood detective. That is, you want to become aware of the triggers you have that set you off on an eating tangent. Keeping a journal of what you eat and the emotions you feel at the time are a good beginning. What were the circumstances occurring that caused the over eating?
Next, you want to have alternative ways of coping with those emotions. Learn new emotional outlets, journal, sharing with a friend, change your thoughts to more positive, hopeful ones. In hypnosis sessions, we identify the triggers and create new behavioral responses to them. We can also begin to look for solutions rather than blame or shame.
Some quick tips for overcoming emotional eating are:
- Delay snacking by 15 minutes when sudden hunger hits. When the 15 minutes are up, determine if you are still hungry or if it is an emotional issue you are experiencing.
- Take a walk, play cards, change activities when craving foods. Keep only healthy snacks on hand.
- Limit your portions. Prepare snack bags or portions in advance of hunger. If you divide containers of snack foods into smaller containers or bags, you are less likely to eat them all at one sitting.
- Create a no eating zone. If you know that you have previously sneaked food in your car or bedroom, make that off limits for all food. Become conscious of that, perhaps even putting up signs in those areas to remind yourself.
- Call a friend or journal when feeling strong emotions. Imagine confronting the issue and how you might feel if you were to do so successfully. See yourself working through life’s challenges in a positive, productive manner.
- Consider hypnosis to learn more about what your personal saboteur is and how to install new reactions, new behaviors and new habits.
